I have talked with / written to some men who made it pretty clear that their former relationship included sleeping with a person. That totally goes against what God expects a Christian to do!!! These men came from this CDFF site!!! I want a man who, even if married before, to show self-control. God forbid that I allow a man to "take me to bed" as a part of our relationship!! Saving ourselves for the one who God chooses for us is going to help us trust our mates, and they, in turn, will be able to trust us more. It has been proven that if a person is promiscuous before marriage, it will carry over into the marriage.
I may be waiting a long time for God's choice; maybe God is helping me to become stronger in the self-control physical part!
I completely agree. Sex before marriage is something I think i've always been sensitive about but I believe that's a good thing. I plan on waiting till i'm married before doing anything of the sort. The sad thing you see with young people now is they think "sex" has to be literal. They think it's ok to push the limits up to the point right before it could literally considered sex just because they think that makes it ok. It breaks my heart when I have friends do this.
Also, yes, I know I said "young people" even though i'm only 18 :P I'm practically an old man though because of some views I hold. *shakes cane at the young people around*
Was really glad to see this chain of posts. I've only been back into dating for the past couple of months. And this is an issue that has been coming up, from men who say they're Christians.
One of them I actually met on this site...he sounded great on the phone, asked me to his church (Lakewood, in Houston) which he attends once or twice weekly. He seemed like someone I could learn a lot from. Then wham, on the first date sex is already brought up. With a whole lot of rationalizing about why it's okay...and why I'm wrong to think that it should be saved for marraige.
Until reading some of the posts here, I was really beginning to wonder if there were other people my age, who shared my beliefs on the subject.
It's tough being celibate, and even tougher when all the supposed Christian men (that you date) tell you that you're wrong.
Wouldn't it be interesting if I could get the guy I met from this site, to present his case in this forum? Doubt if that's gonna happen...but should he write again, I'll offer the challenge.
You know what? This topic, which hasn't been real active lately, seems like the perfect spot for a social experiment. First off, I think everything said on here is true. Sex should be a union between one woman and one man. That being said, I also think that people should obey their superior's orders, treat everyone the same way they want to be treated, men should open the door for ladies, women should treat their husbands or boyfriends with respect (which of course should be returned), people should work hard everyday for what they earn, the guy should pay for everything on a date, the book should never be judged by the cover, and no one should ever kick a dog.
Guess what! Not the way the world works. Instead, let's take a minute to look at things the way God does. Sex outside of marriage, biblically, is wrong. God doesn't approve. But, we're talking about the same God who I believe will save the soul of a murderer at the last few minutes of his life if he asks for forgiveness with a sincere heart. Sin is sin. And, it's been forgiven if we take the plunge to accept God into our hearts and lives.
For those who might read this and aren't saved by his grace, understand that all, EVERYTHING, every single act of sin can be washed clean. To me, that is more amazing than anything we as humans can come up with. We as Christians are not here to judge. Not our place. For those on here looking for a quick lay, this is probably not the right place for you. But for those looking to get back on the straight, narrow, not so easy to walk path (like we all are), you're starting in a good place.
God is a forgiving God, but you left out a couple of things. Hebrews 10:26; For if we sin willfully, after we have received knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sin. If you know it is wrong, and do it anyway.....it will not be forgiven.
Didn't anyone ever wonder, if Christ paid for our sins, and they are forgotten, why do we stand before the judgment seat of Christ? For sins we commit willfully. And the wages of sin are death.
I know, you are thinking, oh but God is a loving God....and He is, but He is also a Holy God. We are to separate ourselves from this world. We are commanded to be holy. The apostles warned the churches over and over again, and we still don't get it because it is something we don't want to hear.
Jesus said, "Not everyone who says to me Lord, Lord will enter the kingdom of heaven".......And then I will declare to them, I never knew you; depart from me, you who practice lawlessness.
I have several things to say on this topic. First of all, though, I want to address something to Leon. I have read many of your posts and truly appreciate your wisdom and your gentle, Christ-like attitude, but you said something in your last post that I completely disagree with and am sincerely asking for clarification on. You stated that if we willfully sin, we will not be forgiven. If this is so, then the whole world is lost and we have no hope for redemption through Christ. Peter willfully denied Christ three times; do you think he was not forgiven? The Father I serve knows that I am only human and that I will not be perfect and will fall into temptation. But He also knows my heart,and when I humbly and earnestly confess my sins to Him and ask forgiveness, the blood of Christ washes me clean -- that is why Jesus died, that is what the blood of the Lamb is all about.
Now, about premarital sex... Our bodies are not our own. We belong to God. Once we enter into a committed covenant with a mate (marriage), our body becomes our mates. it isn't ours to give away in the first place.
Now in defense of some of the men I have talked to from this site... I have talked to men on this site who stand firm in their faith and do not believe in sex outside of marriage. I spoke through email and phone to one man in particular from here and over the course of four months, he never let the conversation be led astray toward any sexual content so as to not compromise either of us. There are men out there who understand the virtue of abstinance; don't hesitate to search high and low for them...
You are correct that you will be forgiven. The difference is in the willfulness part. This is my interpretation of the translation, and as such, could be flawed, so use your own judgment. I think that the willfulness that the reference scripture was speaking about is an almost defying God type of willfulness. Almost like saying, I don't care what You say, I am going to do it anyway.
The other part of this is that you have to know the truth. The truth is not always what we think it is. If you really believe that a sin is okay, you obviously don't know the truth. This particular subject has been whitewashed so much, there are many who don't know the truth.
Finally, do I think you will lose your salvation? No, I do not think that, I think there will be a price to pay for the disobedience, both here and in the kingdom of heaven. I have no idea what that price will be, but I do believe that there will be one.
One other thing while we are on the subject, Jesus said, "Narrow is the gate and difficult is the way that leads to life and there are FEW who will find it. He also said it was easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.
How do these two things fit in with the prosperity message and the everything is wonderful doctrine of modern Christianity? So....who do we believe? Jesus or the Pastors? We were not commanded; Be ye not so bad, for I am not so bad; We were commanded, Be ye holy for I am holy.
Peter didn't set out to deny Jesus in defiance of God, he was just caught up in the moment. He later felt bad, but was only forgiven when he had proven himself 3 times, the number of times he had denied Christ.
Charles Spurgeon, the prince of preachers, told the story of a landowner who had this beautiful majestic oak tree, covered in a gorgeous, flowing, leafy ivy. It was one of the most beautiful sights in the world, but the tree was dying. He called his gardener, and asked if hen could save the tree. The gardener looked at it and said sure no problem, he just had to remove the ivy, it was choking the life out of the tree. The owner said no, he liked the ivy. The gardener told him, you can have the ivy, or you can have the tree, you just can't have them both together.
This is how we are with sin, we want to be saved, but we don't want to change how we live and act. Like the ivy and the tree, we can have one or the other, just never both together. We are called out of the world and into holiness. We are told to be friends with the world is to be an enemy of God. I know this message is not popular, but we are not called to be popular. We are told the world will hate us, because they hated Jesus.
God is well aware that we will stumble and get caught up in the moment sometimes, as Peter did. But we are never to knowingly, willfully commit sin. Think of it from God's point of view. He has done everything, including sacrificing His Son, and we choose sin over Him. How is He supposed to feel?
This is my take on willful sin, you can agree or not, but the truth is, not many will make it to heaven and that means many will be deceived into believing lies. We all love the feel good messages, but we need truth, if we want the promise of heaven.
Leon, Thanx for the clarity. I can only echo all that you have said. I have lost frienships, family ties, and even romance because of my own Christianity,so believe me when I say that I know that being a Chrisitian is no popularity contest. But I wouldn't give up what I have in Christ for one second to have back what I lost; for what I will gain in Heaven will surpass all.
Have you ever heard the song, Lose My Soul by Toby Mac and friends? The words to this song are very thought provoking. I am not a big fan of hip hop, but this is one of my favorite songs. At one point in the song, it says, we sit idle while we teach prosperity, but the first thing to prosper should be inside of me. Now there is a man who understands the word of God, and is concerned about humanity. He is a young father and musician, and is worried about keeping his focus in today's world. He sounds like an amazing man of God. God bless dear sister.
Reason #1 - God Tells Us Not to Have Sex Outside of Marriage
In the seventh of God's Ten Commandments, he instructs us not to have sex with anyone other than our spouse. It is clear that God forbids sex outside of marriage. When we obey God, he is pleased. He honors our obedience by blessing us.
Deuteronomy 28:1-3
If you fully obey the LORD your God ... He will set you high above all the nations on earth. All these blessings will come upon you and accompany you if you obey the LORD your God. God has a reason for giving us this command. First and foremost, he knows what's best for us. By obeying him, we trust God to look out for our best interests.
Reason #2 - We Won't Miss Out on the Blessing of the Wedding Night
There's something very special about a couple's first time. In this physical act the two become one flesh. Yet it is more than just physical oneness � a spiritual union takes place. God planned for this exclusive experience of discovery and pleasure to happen only within the intimacy of marriage. If we don't wait, we miss out on a very special blessing from God.
1 Corinthians 6:16
Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, "The two become one." Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever�the kind of sex that can never "become one."
Reason #3 - We Will Be Spiritually Healthier
If we live as carnal or fleshly Christians, we will seek to gratify the desires of the flesh and live only to please ourselves. If we live this way, the Bible says we cannot please God. We will be miserable under the weight of our sin. As we continue to feed our fleshly desires, our spirit will grow weak and our relationship with God will be destroyed. Complacency with sin leads to worse sin, and eventually, spiritual death.
Romans 8:8,13
Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live ...
Reason #4 - We Will Be Physically Healthier
This one is a no-brainer. If we refrain from sex outside of marriage, we will be protected from the risk of catching sexually transmitted diseases.
1 Corinthians 6:18
Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.
Reason #5 - We Will Be Emotionally Healthier
One reason God tells us to honor marriage and keep the marriage bed pure has to do with baggage. We carry baggage into our sexual relationships. Memories from the past, emotional scars and unwanted mental images can defile our thoughts and make the marriage bed less than pure. Certainly God can forgive the past, but that doesn't mean we're free from the baggage that can linger in our minds.
Hebrews 13:4
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
Reason #6 - We Will Show Consideration for Our Partner's Well-Being
If we put our partner's needs above our own and consider their spiritual well-being, we'll be compelled to wait for sex. We, like God, will want what's best for them.
Ephesians 5:2
Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.
Philippians 2:3
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves.
Reason #7 - Waiting is a Test of True Love
Love is patient. That's about as simple as it gets. We can learn the sincerity of our partner's love by their willingness, or lack thereof, to wait.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
Reason #8 - We Will Have No Negative Consequences to Deal With
There are always consequences to sin. Some of those effects can be devastating. An unwanted pregnancy, a decision to have an abortion or place a child for adoption, broken relationships with family and friends � these are just a few of the possible outcomes we face when we choose to have sex outside of marriage. We should be sure to consider the snow ball effect of sin. And what if the relationship does not last?
Hebrews 12:1 shows that sin hinders our lives and easily entangles us. We will be much better off if we avoid these negative consequences.
Reason #9 - We Will Keep Our Christian Testimony Intact
We don't set a very good example of godly living when we disobey God. The Bible says in 1 Timothy 4:12 to "be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity."
In Matthew 5:13 Jesus compares his followers to "salt" and "light" when we represent him in the world. When we no longer shine the light of Christ, when we lose our Christian testimony, we lose our "saltiness." In other words, we become flavorless and bland. We lose our ability to attract the world to Christ. Luke 14:34-35 puts it strongly, saying that salt without saltiness is worthless, not even fit for the manure pile.
Reason #10 - We Won't Settle For Less Than God's Perfect Will
When we choose to have sex outside of marriage, we settle for less than God's perfect will � for ourselves and for our partner. And if we do this, we don't know what we might end up with. Perhaps we'll end up in a miserable marriage.
So, here's some food for thought: If your partner wants sex before marriage, consider this as a warning sign about their spiritual condition. If you are the one who wants sex before marriage, consider this as a warning sign of your own spiritual condition.
I took these from internet : About.com :christianity
