What are your thoughts on Biblical gender roles? Dress code? Hairstyles? Should jobs and tasks be gender based? Are men the leaders of their families, or is marriage an equal partnership? Should education be different for boys and girls? These days the genders are blurred more than ever it seems. How do we live and raise children according to God's plan for the roles of men and women?
In this post, I'll seek to address the God-given roles of men and women within the confines of marriage as described in scripture. This post will be rather long, and I've copied and pasted it from something that I wrote on this topic several years ago. My original comments were even longer than what will appear here, so this is but an excerpt. Here goes:
Regarding the creation of the first man and woman, Adam and Eve, we read:
"And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them." (Gen. 1:26-27)
When Adam was created in the image of God, he was created as a "figure of him that was to come" or as a type of Jesus Christ. In Paul's epistle to the Romans, we read:
"Nevertheless death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over them that had not sinned after the similitude of Adam's transgression, who is the figure of him that was to come." (Rom. 5:14)
The underlying Greek word which is here translated as "figure" is "typos", and it is from this Greek word that we derive our English word "type". The dictionary defines "type" in the following manner:
"A person or thing (as in the Old Testament) believed to foreshadow another (as in the New Testament)."
Similarly, the dictionary defines "antitype" in the following manner:
"Something that corresponds to or is foreshadowed in a type."
Paul explained one manner in which Adam, the type, prefigured or foreshadowed Christ, the antitype, in his epistle to the saints at Ephesus. There, we read:
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." (Eph. 5:22-33)
While teaching on the subject of marriage, Paul went all the way back to the book of Genesis (Gen. 2:24, Eph. 5:31) in order to establish his doctrine. In doing so, he explained how the natural union between Adam and Eve, the first human beings and the first husband and wife, was a great mystery in that it was a type of God's desired spiritual union concerning Christ and the church where the two become one (Gen. 2:24, I Cor. 6:15-17). This typology is broken down into the two following types and antitypes:
1. Adam, the type, prefigured Christ, the antitype.
2. Eve, the type, prefigured the church, the antitype.
While describing this great mystery, Paul gave the two following parallels between Adam, the type, and Christ, the antitype:
1. Adam was the head of his wife, Eve, even as Christ is the head of His spiritual bride, the church (Eph. 5:23).
2. Adam was to love his wife as his own body (Eph. 5:28), even as Christ loves the church as His own body (Eph. 5:30).
Since this great mystery concerning Christ and the church began in Genesis, let's go there now. We read:
"And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." (Gen. 2:20-24)
According to the Genesis account, Adam was created first (Gen. 2:7), and Eve was later made from one of Adam's ribs which caused him to declare, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh". While pointing his readers back to this account (Eph. 5:31), Paul not only stated that the husband is the head of the wife (Eph. 5:23), but he also stated that men ought to love their wives as their own bodies (Eph. 5:28). In other words, by preceding Eve in order of creation, and by being a figure or a type of Christ who was to come (Rom. 5:14), Adam was designated as Eve's head whereas she was likened to his body in that she was bone of Adam's bones, and flesh of Adam's flesh (Gen. 2:23). Similarly, Christ, the antitype, precedes the church in that his "goings forth have been from of old, from everlasting" (Mic. 5:2), and he is the head of the church (Eph. 5:23) which is of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones (Eph. 5:30). Drawing heavily from this Genesis account and the typology contained therein, Paul regularly used the terms "head" and "body" to describe Christ and the church throughout his epistles. Paul more directly addressed the significance of Adam being created first when he wrote to Timothy:
"Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression." (I Tim. 2:11-14)
Contextually, the woman here refers to the wife because Paul was using Adam and Eve, the first husband and wife, as an example of what he was seeking to convey unto Timothy. Seeing how Adam was first formed, then Eve, Paul instructed Timothy that a wife ought not to usurp authority over her own husband, but to learn in silence with all subjection instead. In other words, seeing how Adam preceded Eve in order of creation as her head or as one who had God-given authority over her, and seeing how the same typified Christ preceding the church as its head or authority, wives ought to be in subjection to their own husbands. When one understands this great mystery concerning Christ and the church, then one understands how it would be as wrong for a wife to usurp authority over her own husband as it would be for the church, whom the wife typifies, to usurp authority over Christ. This truth is more clearly seen in Paul's first epistle to the Corinthians. There, we read:
"But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head. But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven. For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered. For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels. Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord. For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God. Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered? Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him? But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering. But if any man seem to be contentious, we have no such custom, neither the churches of God." (I Cor. 11:3-16)
While further describing the type of headship of which he wrote to the saints at Ephesus (Eph. 5:23) and Timothy (I Tim. 2:11-14), Paul broke it down in the following order to the saints at Corinth:
God
Christ
Man (Husband, contextually)
Woman (Wife, contextually)
The head of Christ is God in that Jesus, after his Incarnation, never spoke anything other than that which he first heard his Father speak, and never did anything other than that which he first saw his Father do. During his earthly ministry, Jesus made multiple comments along the following lines:
"For I have not spoken of myself; but the Father which sent me, he gave me a commandment, what I should say, and what I should speak." (John 12:49)
"Then Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, The Son can do nothing of himself, but, what he seeth the Father do: for what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise." (John 5:19)
Although submission and subjection are very touchy topics for many today because they have been so perverted and abused, God's kingdom is still one of headship or of delegated authority. The head of Christ is God, and Jesus Christ is the ultimate example of someone who truly is in submission or subjection to authority, and that authority belongs to his Father.
Moving further down God's delegated chain of authority, Paul said that the head of every man is Christ. Here, Paul was speaking in relation to a husband as the context is clearly that of a husband and a wife. Again, Paul wrote:
"For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man." (I Cor. 11:8-9)
Adam, the first husband, was not of the woman, Eve, but the woman, Eve, the first wife, was of the man in that she was made from one of Adam's ribs (Gen. 2:21-23). Similarly, neither was the man, Adam, created for the woman, Eve, but the woman, Eve, was created for the man or as his "help meet" (Gen. 2:20). As Christ is fully submitted or subjected to his head, God the Father, so ought a husband be fully submitted or subjected to Christ as his head. No husband who is fully submitted or subjected to Christ will ever abuse his wife as abuse does not proceed forth from Christ. Instead, husbands who are fully submitted or subjected to Christ will nourish and cherish their wives, and love them as their own bodies (Eph. 5:28), even as the Lord nourishes and cherishes the church (Eph. 5:29) as his body (Eph. 5:30).
Moving even further down God's delegated chain of authority, Paul said that the head of the woman is the man. Again, contextually, Paul was speaking in relation to a wife being in subjection to her own husband. In other words, Paul was saying the same exact thing to the saints at Corinth that he said to the saints at Ephesus when he wrote:
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body." (Eph. 5:22-23)
Seeing how the context here is clearly that of a husband and a wife, Paul, once more, went all the way back to the Genesis account to make his case. In other words, Paul here expounded upon what he said elsewhere to Timothy, "Adam was first formed, then Eve" (I Tim. 2:13), when he said:
"For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels."
(I Cor. 11:7-10)
Adam, a type of Christ, was created as the image and glory of God whereas Eve, a type of the church, was created as the glory of the man. Again, Adam wasn't created for Eve, but Eve was created for Adam, and a wife therefore ought to have power on her head because of the angels. The underlying Greek word which is here translated as "power" is "exousia", and this same Greek word is often translated as "authority" in our English Bibles. In other words, Paul was seeking to convey that a wife ought to be in subjection to her own husband's God-given authority over her because the angels are watching to ensure that "all things" are being "done decently and in order" (I Cor. 14:40). Whenever a wife usurps authority over her own husband, headship becomes perverted and looks like the following:
God
Christ
Woman (Wife, contextually)
Man (Husband, contextually)
In other words, the wife is now uncovered (I Cor. 11:5, 13) or not covered (I Cor. 11:6), and she no longer has power on her head (I Cor. 11:10) because she is no longer submitted or subjected to her own husband's God-given authority over her. When such a violation or perversion occurs, the wife dishonors her head (I Cor. 11:5) or dishonors her husband. Paul said that if it is not a shame for a wife to remove her spiritual covering, or to come out from being under her own husband's God-given authority over her, then let her also remove her natural covering (I Cor. 11:15), her hair, or let her be shorn or shaven (I Cor. 11:6). Along these same lines, whenever a husband places himself under his wife's authority, the husband not only dishonors his head (I Cor. 11:4) which is Christ (I Cor. 11:3), but he also symbolically has long hair (I Cor. 11:14) in that his wife is now his covering. This is what Paul was actually addressing with the saints at Corinth, and this portion of scripture has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not men or women should wear head coverings in church. Similarly, this portion of scripture has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not men can have long hair which was never a custom in the church (I Cor. 11:16). Although there is God-given authority within the confines of marriage, when it comes to the matter of salvation, there is total equality between the husband and his wife. For this cause, Paul wrote:
"Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord." (I Cor. 11:11)
Peter, who also wrote of God-given authority within the confines of marriage as we'll see in a moment, similarly recognized equality between a husband and his wife in relation to salvation when he said that they are "heirs together of the grace of life" (I Pet. 3:7). Furthermore, even though the woman is of the man (I Cor. 11:12) in that Eve was made from one of Adam's ribs, Paul said that even so is the man also by the woman (I Cor. 11:12). In other words, with the exception of Adam, all men who have been born into this world have entered it via the womb of a woman.
While still dealing with the issue of headship, Paul continued on to write the following to these same saints at Corinth:
"Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church." (I Cor. 14:34-35)
Again, contextually, the women who were to keep silence in the churches were the wives who were being instructed to ask their husbands at home whatever it was that they might be inquiring about in the church. Furthermore, when Paul said in relation to wives, "for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law", he was again referring back to the Genesis account where we read:
"Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." (Gen. 3:16)
When the LORD God told Eve that her desire shall be to her husband, he was actually rebuking her for her desire to usurp authority over Adam. In fact, we see this same exact terminology being used by the LORD in relation to Satan's desire for Cain in Genesis chapter 4. There, we read:
"And the LORD said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen? If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him." (Gen. 4:6-7)
Cain didn't rule over Satan as God told him to, but instead he submitted to Satan's desire for him (I John 3:12), and such led to him murdering his brother, Abel. Looking back at Eve, when God told her that her husband shall rule over her, he was actually reinforcing Adam's place of headship over his own wife which he had before sin ever entered into this world. Again, Adam's headship over his own wife was a type of Christ's headship over the church (Eph. 5:23). With such being the case, whenever a wife usurps authority over her own husband, she is, in type, teaching that it is similarly acceptable for the church to usurp authority over Christ. At the same time, whenever a husband places himself under his own wife's authority, he is, in type, teaching that Christ likewise places himself under the authority of the church. Additionally, whenever a husband abuses his wife, he is, in type, teaching that Christ similarly abuses the church as this is what is typified by the husband and wife relationship. These are all very serious perversions of God's intent for marriage, and the great mystery that it represents concerning Christ and the church (Eph. 5:32). All who pervert the same will ultimately give an account for it before the Lord unless they first genuinely repent, and bring forth fruits worthy of repentance. So serious is this perversion of headship, and the great mystery that it represents concerning Christ and the church, that it is actually what ushered sin, death, and a curse into this world. Again, going back to the Genesis account, we read:
"And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return." (Gen. 3:17-19)
The actual cause of Adam's sin, and, consequentially, the actual cause of death and the curse which followed, was because Adam hearkened unto the voice of Eve who was then deceived. Again, Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression (I Tim. 2:14). In other words, Adam willfully chose to hearken unto Eve's voice instead of the voice of the LORD God. In doing so, Adam greatly perverted headship which, again, typifies Christ's headship over the church, and such a great perversion is still in full force thousands of years later. Whereas Adam's hearkening unto Eve's voice instead of the voice of the LORD God genuinely ushered sin, death, and a curse into this world, Eve's commanded subjection to her own husband's rule over her (Gen. 3:16) wasn't a curse which Jesus later allegedly redeemed wives from. Not only was Eve's commanded subjection to Adam merely a reaffirmation of Adam's headship which he had before sin entered into this world, but wives are still commanded to be in subjection to their own husbands' rule or headship over them today in relation to the New Testament. Some examples of this truth have already been cited, and here are some additional examples of the same:
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord." (Col. 3:18)
"The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." (Titus 2:3-5)
"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement." (I Pet. 3:1-6)
Yes, in relation to the New Testament, wives are yet commanded to be obedient to their own husbands that the word of God be not blasphemed (Titus 2:5), even as Sarah obeyed Abraham to the point of calling him lord (Gen. 18:12, I Pet. 3:6). This is probably a good time to say that Biblical authority is not equivalent to dominance or abuse. Instead, it's much more equivalent to accountability in that Jesus said "for unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required" (Luke 12:48). God will deal severely with any husband who "deals treacherously" (Mal. 2:15) against his wife, or who "covers violence with his garment" (Mal. 2:16) in relation to the same. Again, any husband who abuses his wife is teaching that Christ similarly abuses his church, and any woman who usurps her own husband's God-given authority over her is teaching that the church can similarly usurp Christ's authority over it. This isn't a game. Both husbands and wives will ultimately be held accountable before God for their actions or inactions unless they first come to a place of genuine repentance, and begin to allow their marriages to represent Christ and the church to the world as God originally intended.
Drawing further from this typology which was first introduced in the beginning where the husband is the head of his own body (Gen. 2:23, Eph. 5:28) or of his own wife, even as Christ is the head of His body (Eph. 5:30) or of the church, the apostle Paul wrote elsewhere in his epistles:
"And hath put all things under his feet, and gave him to be the head over all things to the church, Which is his body, the fulness of him that filleth all in all." (Ephesians 1:22-23)
"And he is the head of the body, the church: who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead; that in all things he might have the preeminence." (Colossians 1:18)
"Let no man beguile you of your reward in a voluntary humility and worshipping of angels, intruding into those things which he hath not seen, vainly puffed up by his fleshly mind, And not holding the head, from which all the body by joints and bands having nourishment ministered, and knit together, increaseth with the increase of God." (Colossians 2:18-19)
It is of utmost importance that we fully recognize how Eve typified the church in that she was bone of Adam's bones, and flesh of Adam's flesh (Gen. 2:23) or of his body, even as the church is of Christ's body, of his flesh, and of his bones" (Eph. 5:30). Why? Again, because it is due precisely to this typology that the church is regularly referred to as being Christ's "body" in scripture.
