CHEMISTRY... what is it?... and... is it important?
Posted : 18 Sep, 2011 10:46 PM
Hi...I wanted to repost an old thread today about a subject that is regarded among some in Christendom to be a sign of carnality... and that's the word "Chemistry."
I've come across this word in several ladies' profiles as a sort of a "don't waste my time".... if "chemistry" is not there. I've been on this site for almost 3 years and talked with hundreds of ladies and have come to this conclusion: That "chemistry" is indeed important in a relationship...that spark...that WOW...that magic( oops...did I say that word ).
What is it?...It seems to me firstly that it is a physical attraction to that person. When Jacob saw Rachel and Leah standing before him...why did he fall head over heels for Rachel and not Leah? Why was he so willing to work for Laban 7 years and another 7 years to be officially married to Rachel? And what was so special about Sarah that Abraham was drawn to? Even Isaac was blessed with a beautiful wife. Obviously God did not think it was carnal or sinful to find someone attractive if He would allow Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob to be blessed with beautiful wives.
In regards to searching for my wife... I admit...that if I am not attracted to a lady physically I really do not have a desire to go further, regardless of other great qualities she may possess. Am I carnal?
Someone will quote to me 1Samuel 16:7 as evidence of my carnality that God looks at the heart and man looks on the outward appearance. BUT WAIT!.... God was simply pointing out a truth, not a condemnation. I'm not God...I'm a man. God put two eyes in my head to be attracted to beauty. No one thinks it's wrong to find flowers beautiful, or a mountain, or the stars. Why is it wrong therefore to be attracted to someone's outward beauty? Why is it thought in Christendom that when looking for a mate one must only look on the heart and disregard the outward?
However, as my son pointed out ...chemistry between people is a MUTUAL attraction... I agree... It's not really chemistry if your attraction towards someone is all one sided. I have found many ladies attractive on this site who simply did not find me attractive...no chemistry. And there are ladies who find me attractive...but I do not feel the same way towards them...no chemistry.
Yet... I must confess that I have discovered that chemistry GOES DEEPER than the outward appearance. On two separate experiences where there was mutual physical attraction between us...there was still something missing... we were not connecting on all cylinders. So we decided to mutually agree to part company. If the chemistry is not there... why try to force it?
So...my intellectual friends... let's hear your insight on Chemistry 101...What is it ? And is it important?
CHEMISTRY... what is it?... and... is it important?
Posted : 28 Sep, 2011 09:17 PM
phillipjohn..."Prove how it fit's spiritually."...thank you...a valid suggestion. Still I'm not so sure if one can prove that chemistry has a spiritual side to it, anymore than "eating food" has a significant part in our spiritual well-being. Yet, we know if don't eat...we get grumpy.
So, give us your thoughts. What is chemistry and how important is it in a relationship? And I wonder outloud, if there is no chemistry between a man and a woman, are they wise to get married?
CHEMISTRY... what is it?... and... is it important?
Posted : 29 Sep, 2011 02:20 PM
So, give us your thoughts. What is chemistry and how important is it in a relationship? And I wonder outloud, if there is no chemistry between a man and a woman, are they wise to get married?
*** Not sure PJ will give his thoughts here...:rolleyes:...but I'd like to share about the " If there is no Chemistry betwix a man & women, are they wise to get married???....NO !!! I do not believe it wise to marry...back in the day...many Cultures matched up & married off their kidlets without the concideration of the kidlets...granted many grew to love each other no doubt...In todays time/era many people get down to business (intimacy) before getin to know each other...then after the un-official honeymoon is over...well...they be left to fuger out...What Now ???...its kinda backwards to me anyway...:rolleyes:...
As to the "Relax GodsJude. There's no need to get our feathers ruffled. Remember you still have a male hummingbird with his eye on you."
*** Ha ! HA !...thats a Hoot !!!...the lil Boy Hummer has picked the lil Gal...and they be best of buddies now...:buddies:...guess I was just a passin fancy for a bit...:ROFL:...xo
CHEMISTRY... what is it?... and... is it important?
Posted : 1 Oct, 2011 11:01 PM
GodsJude..."many Cultures matched up & married off their kidlets without the concideration of the kidlets."...a good point. We know there was chemistry happening for Jacob toward Rachel, yet he felt none for Leah to whom he was tricked into marrying. And poor Leah became the victim of her father's schemes... forced to marry someone who did not love her in the least. How sad. Thanks for sharing.
CHEMISTRY... what is it?... and... is it important?
Posted : 11 Oct, 2011 12:16 AM
Chemistry...my way of thinking; is it is who you are, your personality, the way you connect with another. It is the part of you that makes your mannerisms, who you are in life; the little nuances (that later become the annoying, and the chemistry fizzles out, lol). Chemistry can occur by any way one connects, via mail, text messaging, on the phone, and yes in 3D. Thus chemistry it is important only in the sense that someone likes/loves you for who you are, the way you are (mannerisms and all). Yet somehow, this goes right back to ones choice, as it is a choice what each individual has as a preference.
CHEMISTRY... what is it?... and... is it important?
Posted : 11 Oct, 2011 07:08 PM
Thank you algomaboy and Pearloflife for taking the time to share your thoughts on chemistry.
I know there are a lot of people out there viewing this thread who have not yet shared their thoughts on the subject. Be brave and let's hear from you. :yay:
CHEMISTRY... what is it?... and... is it important?
Posted : 16 Oct, 2011 07:14 PM
Greetings Paul,
Chemistry? seems so Carnal Minded to me. I last guy I dated said that he felt we had Chemistry...yet it wasn't enough to keep the relationship alive. For him it was the outward appearance he saw, yet my looks didn't keep him coming back to me. For me it was a desire to be with someone who would love me more than his looks, for I didn't think he looked that great at all in fact he has been the most ugliest man I have ever dated....yet, I choose to LOVE him & my love wasn't return.
Stupid me thought No one else would want him and I was sure to keep him lmbo Joke of Me! Lesson Learned :)
I believe that chemistry has to work in all areas of the attraction of each individual. For the Fact that the reason he wouldn't stay in the relationship was that he desire a sexual one before marriage and it made me uncomfortable to even consider it. When I desire to be with someone without the sex involved before marriage. So, with that said because of our differences in the dating issues the chemistry at glance was nothing more than wishful thinking for us both.
Might as well call it what it was in the beginning..."Fascination"
CHEMISTRY... what is it?... and... is it important?
Posted : 16 Oct, 2011 07:57 PM
Spiritfilled64... "I believe that chemistry has to work in all areas of the attraction of each individual"...yes I agree, Charlene. Physical chemistry alone will only lead to a shallow relationship. It is obvious from what you shared that the word "chemistry" has left some bitter memories.
As my son had pointed out, chemistry is a mutual thing. You mentioned not being attracted to this guy although he was attracted to you. Do you think the relationship could have worked out even though you were not attracted to him?
I remember talking to a guy many years ago who told me in confidence that he married his wife even though he did not find her attractive at all. And I wondered then what his wife would have thought if she knew that she was not the apple of his eye.
CHEMISTRY... what is it?... and... is it important?
Posted : 16 Oct, 2011 08:24 PM
Paul,
From my point of view YES...considering my non physical attraction toward him wasn't so important as being with someone who is a Man of God to love me. As long as I could find something in his appearances that made him attractive to me. Like his bald head & his height was an attraction for me NOT his FACE or his BODY.
I had made a choice to LOVE this man, though he claim to love me back he stayed on dating sites & kept looking for someone to have a Romance with. His definition of Romance was SEX. My definition of Romance is Time spent together without the fear of being replace.
