Author	Thread: Racism or Generalization?
Admin	Racism or Generalization? Posted : 4 Jan, 2011 10:31 AM I was surprised to see that there are a lot of wonderful christian men out here! But sadly, I've read many profiles of men who doesn't want to meet women from my country (the Philippines), and some doesn't want women from Southeast Asia and Africa. What shocked me the most is that some of these men testify that they are true christians who are active in church, and some are even ministers. Wow! it's really hurtful and insulting. Come to think of it.. is this what the Bible taught us? is this what Jesus will do? is this what we learned from church? If we christians cannot love everyone as they are, how can we truthfully and whole heartedly tell the world about Jesus? I understand that this is a dating site and some concerns fill our minds. But seriously, if u are just looking for friends, why apply racism or generalization? This is not how TRUE CHRISTIANS think! I really hope that everyone will comprehend that not all Filipinas, not all women from Southeast Asia and Africa are 'Gold-Diggers'. I'm speaking out loud for all the women of those countries that are being looked down upon, we are not to be judged by where we come from nor by the color of our skin! :stop: One fact that every man should know - wherever you are, you are surrounded by women who are users. They are everywhere, and, yes, even in first world countries. If you were used by a Filipina for money, probably married you only for the visa, I'm sorry for what happened but u should come to realize that that's an isolated case. NOT ALL women from the Philippines have that intentions. :prayingm: Don't get me wrong, I completely understand guys who want women from within their radar and that each and everyone has his own preferences. But those guys who put comments like "i don't want to meet women from the Philippines because i don't want drama, i don't want someone to beg me for money, i won't petition anyone, NO Gold-diggers!" This message is for you, I hope you take the time to read the verses below and I pray to God that He'll instill realizations in you. James 4:11-12 ESV Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor? Galatians 5:14 ESV For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: �You shall love your neighbor as yourself.� God Bless! :angel: :angel: :angel: Post Reply
susana21 View Profile History	Racism or Generalization? Posted : 4 Jan, 2011 10:34 AM I totally agree! Amen to that Ria! Post Reply
View Profile History	Racism or Generalization? Posted : 4 Jan, 2011 10:39 AM Thanks susana! I hope we can uphold our dignity as Filipinas. God bless you! Post Reply
susana21 View Profile History	Racism or Generalization? Posted : 4 Jan, 2011 11:28 AM Definitely! And may the Lord find us faithful... Post Reply
View Profile History	Racism or Generalization? Posted : 4 Jan, 2011 01:13 PM Whew!... that post was Smok'n Hot!...:toomuch: I think you did the right thing because most encounters with the women you referenced are as you say. Therefore it is good that you let it be known there are plenty of good ones also. I personally love talking to people from other countries. However because of my age I can be tossed into a category just like you have been at times. I can be categorized as a dirty old man for talking to someone in their twenties. Some women put a block up as to age ranges. So I agree even though this is a dating site there is still a friend category. But I think of it as a blessing in disguise keeping me from the kind of people I don't want to waste time associating with! Btw, Everything I have heard is Filipina women make great wives, but you have to get past the ones clamoring for your attention and find a good one. Post Reply
View Profile History	Racism or Generalization? Posted : 4 Jan, 2011 02:21 PM I tell all women who write me more than a few times that if they live more than 150 miles from me we are just friends. i did meet someone on the internet from another country and meet them when they came here to the US. Would I Do it again,maybe. Post Reply
View Profile History	Racism or Generalization? Posted : 4 Jan, 2011 03:17 PM I get plenty of Filipino ladies who view my profile and all I can think of is, why can�t you live closer? There are so many beautiful Filipino ladies on this site, and I realize that there are those who are honest about their intentions. But, I have received plenty of messages where it is obvious that they just want to marry someone in the US. After you get so many of those messages, it starts to become difficult to have to turn so many of them down. It is just hard to know what their true intentions are. We men tend to get jaded because of so many messages we get from women outside of the US. I don�t get messages from women inside the US asking to form a relationship with me. It just seems that the majority of those types of emails that I get come from foreign women. It tends to tug at my heart because I know that there are women out there that would make great wives, it is just hard to know who is being honest and who isn�t. For me it is not racism, it simply not practical for me. I wish there was a better way. Post Reply
SilverFire View Profile History	Racism or Generalization? Posted : 4 Jan, 2011 03:49 PM I agree with Cobbler. You just don't know how it is. American men get very little attention, in general. Then they come on to dating sites and get foreign women (in my experience, usually Filipinas) writing them in broken English, but hungry for a relationship. Now, it's not racism for me to suspect something here. It's evident they think that such a thing would work, or more likely, that they really want to be an American citizen and they think I'm really desperate. Sorry. I just won't date someone outside of the U.S, and my reason is that I don't want to go through customs every time I want to go on a date. No thanks. Plus, the language barriers, the cultural barriers, and on and on. None of these are racial concerns. Post Reply
View Profile History	Racism or Generalization? Posted : 4 Jan, 2011 04:36 PM I understand and am sorry for your plight, Ria, but here is a little something from the �Western� woman�s side of this conundrum. I am an American woman, born and raised, and while I would consider myself much more �traditional� than the average American woman, I have heard over and over that ��Western� women are masculine, feminist, don�t age as well,� and other very hurtful, and often shallow, things. My own grandmother, a white American woman, said right in front of me and a room full of white American family that she didn�t understand why all American boys weren�t going �East� to find their wives. Why? Because Western women have been �ruined� by liberation. So I am left with the impression that men would prefer a woman of a different race than me because they assume that I am inherently bossy, masculine, and won�t age gracefully. I say this to bring to attention that racism and generalization can also cause men to be interested in you! Generalizations that Filipina�s look younger longer (which is super shallow, probably not something high on God�s priority list), are more obedient, and have lower standards than �Western� women. Generalizations that �Western� women are only interested in careers, putting their kids in daycare, and taking the man�s place as Head. It is easy to avoid the men who are NOT interested in you for the wrong reasons, but harder to avoid the men that ARE interested in you for the wrong reasons. I hope you both find wonderful men who love YOU, not just your ethnicity or race or culture, but YOU as wonderful ladies. Also, if I may ask, is it hard to come by men in the Philippines? There do seem to be a LOT of Filipinas on this site. Post Reply
View Profile History	Racism or Generalization? Posted : 4 Jan, 2011 05:42 PM You are right about there being so many Filipino ladies on this site. I just did a search, and there are just as many Filipino ladies that meet my preferences as there are American women. Of course just because they are on this site doesn�t mean that they necessarily want to move to the US. MercyMay is Filipino, and if I remember correctly, she has no intentions of leaving the country. I did receive a message from an Indonesian lady who was looking for an American (well, actually, any westerner would do) because she saw how the Dutch husband of her sister treated his wife so much better than a typical Indonesian does. That area of the world tends to be Muslim dominated, and even though they may not be radical Muslims, they usually don�t treat their wives with as much respect. Truthfully, I really don�t have a problem with women marrying someone just to come to the US. My problem is with them marrying the guy and then either getting a divorce or abandoning the marriage. If I could find someone that I could trust to honor the marriage vows, I would go for it. Post Reply
View Profile History	Racism or Generalization? Posted : 4 Jan, 2011 09:19 PM Siylii I have two questions for you : 1) How old is your grandmother? And... 2) Is she single? ...:excited: Post Reply

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