Author	Thread: How do you approach on-line dating?
Admin	How do you approach on-line dating? Posted : 7 Sep, 2007 05:10 PM I have a question. On this dating site most people talk to more than one person at a time. How can you develop a relationship with one person when you are talking to more than one person at time and how can you be sure that the person you are 'dating' is not dating someone else? I think there should be an indicator on someone's profile to indicate that they are dating exclusively, or it can turn into something like the Bachelor/Bachelorette show when you are dating multiple people at once. And how can you be honest and God-honoring with on-line relationships if this is so? We need to be honest and sincere in our interactions here with others. Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you approach on-line dating? Posted : 7 Sep, 2007 05:33 PM Just because we need to be honest & sincere, doesn't mean that we need to only talk to one person of the opposite sex. You're not really starting off talking with most people as though you are dating them (at least you shouldn't be looking at it that way), you're starting off by building a friendship. You can have tons of friends, & can meet them at the same time. Once you actually have called it official with someone, then you need to inform everyone else you were talking to about the fact that you are now seeing someone. If this post is being monitored, some may think that getting an "indicator" as was mentioned by bubbles1234, I may not be able to speak for others, but I can guarantee I will not be using this site anymore if that happens. Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you approach on-line dating? Posted : 7 Sep, 2007 06:50 PM I agree that it is best to talk to different people. I for one don't want rushing to a relationship. If one's idea is to date exclusively with one person online right away, it may lead to bitterness and heartache. Getting to know everybody as friends and talk to for awhile will give one a better insight of who are real and who are not. Always incorporate prayer and leaving everything in God's hands, and asking for the Holy Spirit for discernment are the best armors of all. After one finds the real one, it is just ethical and moral to bow out of online dating and tell everyone by announcing it in their profile. Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you approach on-line dating? Posted : 8 Sep, 2007 08:00 AM Good. I agree. But some people claim to be in a relationship with you and still use the site to date other people. Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you approach on-line dating? Posted : 8 Sep, 2007 09:23 AM Very well said raquel168 , you put it very well; I agree fully with what you said. Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you approach on-line dating? Posted : 8 Sep, 2007 11:40 AM I think I have yet to hear a good line that I will have to accept as truth. Whether online or not face to face it is easy to spot who may just be playing. Being fervently in prayer, whether man or woman, should be the way to go. Again, always let God lead you, let Him be in control, He alone knows what is best for you. :angel: Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you approach on-line dating? Posted : 9 Sep, 2007 07:18 PM I think honesty is the best policy. When someone asks you if you are dating, you may not be dating anyone but if you are talking to a couple/few just say so. If you are just talking to people and getting to know them it isn't "dating", it's just getting to know them but if someone asks tell them anyway. You need to be honest if you want people to be honest with you. If they are involved with someone else you will know. If they are not available at certain times or if they turn off their cell when they go out there might be something else going on. Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you approach on-line dating? Posted : 10 Sep, 2007 11:57 AM I'm fairly new to CDFF, but I've been active on another Christian dating website for about 2 1/2 years. I've learned a lot not only from my own experiences, but also from communication with those that I have become friends with. The other site has a well moderated chat room, so there is opportunity to communicate with both men and women at the same time.... as well as opportunity to develop friendships with both. I've found that in any type of relationship building process, time is very important. But it becomes a vital tool when you are communicating on-line. I don't believe that everyone out in cyber space are kin to ax murderers.. :)... but I have found that it can be very difficult to judge a person's character through the few lines they have typed in a little white box and a picture they have posted. As far as writing to more than one individual at the same time.... for me just getting back into the dating scene after a divorce I've found that to be a very GOOD thing. I have never led anyone that I saw as just a friend to believe that there was more to the relationship (honest communication), but I have learned so much from that communication with a variety of men. I've learned about myself, and how I respond to different character traits, and I've also learned a great deal about the qualities I'm looking for in a future spouse. Bubbles, If someone says they are dating you, yet you suspect (or know) that they are still meeting and communicating with others on a singles site, two things come to mind. 1st, you might want to ask some tough questions to see exactly what "dating" means to him, and be sure that you are both on the same page about that. 2nd, after those questions, if he has the same definition that you have of dating (I'm assuming here that you feel that "dating" means exclusive) and you still believe he is communicating with others ... then the really hard stuff.... no matter what his great qualities may be, your best bet would be to remove yourself from the relationship. Yes, being alone stinks, but it is worlds better than being deceived and used. Just my thoughts.. :) Blessings to all! Flutterbye Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you approach on-line dating? Posted : 13 Sep, 2007 10:20 PM Hi! I denitely agree with raquel168 that if you finally found the "real one" it would be ethical to announce it in your profile. However, I think getting out or bowing out of the site is another thing...I believe you can still keep on meeting friends online but that should be clearly stated. Also, your partner should also know about it or you have discussed it to avoid future problems. As Christians, I expect that we are sensitive not only about our own feelings or interests but also of others. God bless! Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you approach on-line dating? Posted : 20 Oct, 2007 03:58 PM I agree with q38, honesty is the best policy. Just tell the truth! Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you approach on-line dating? Posted : 4 Dec, 2007 03:21 PM I try to look at online dating as the possibility of a new friendship and maybe more down the line.. Until recent years, I thought it was only best to "date" one person at a time. I guess that is called serious dating. Until I decide I want to date someone exclusively, I will casually date. It is wise to chat with many online. Not all emails will progress to even one date. Even if you date them more than once, untill both of you decide to date each other exclusively, then it's best to play the field and keep your options open. Post Reply

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