MY FULL TESTIMONY == I was a happy child with good family. most were not religious but good people. . but at the age of 10 or 11 I was raped by a grown man. he left town the next day and I never told anyone. which was a mistake. I kept it all in. . and turned inward. lost all feelings ecept for love of my family and anger. . I had lots of anger built up inside me. on the outside I was still a happy go lucky child. so I went to working hard to build my body up to be so tough no one would ever be able to do that to me again. at the age of 13 I quit school so I could go to work for my grandfather who had a highway building business. I grew up at the age of 7 playing on the bulldozers and helped with the beef cattle. . I turned to drinking from age 13 and at 14 I drank everyday from then on , smoked, cussed and chased after women. . lived in bars and dancehalls most my life. still devoid of feelings except anger. . I wound up married at 19 and it didnt last but 18 months . way later got married again lasted 11 years. quit drinkin at the age of 31 . it was GOD helping me then though I didnt realize it at the time. . but still couldnt let anyone in to really let them love me and I couldnt love back. . still no feelings. . after this I was hunting one day and killed a big buck . . had to drag him out the woods all uphill by myself about 400 yards. . got him to the truck and gutted him and went to load him in the truck and couldnt quite get him in there so I got to cussin and using the LORDS name in vain and alot of other words. . but the 3rd time I used the LORDS name it hit me. . straight to the ground I went . . with a heart attack. . my left arm was numb and it felt like my truck was on my chest goin back and forth. . as I layed there thinkin I was dying. I remembered my aunt had tried to get me to accept salvation when I was younger. I knew what to say and I prayed to GOD right then and there. . when I was done I felt what I belive to be HIS hand toutch my shoulder and a coolness went down my body and when that was done I was at peace and knew either way it went id be ok. but also I knew what I had to do to get out from there to get some help. somehow I made it to the main highway. . layed there waiting on help. . finally the state dept truck stopped and they got me help. this was at age of 36 . . I died and came back and was goin to be ok. . when I got home I couldnt do much so I read the bible for a whole year. . ive read it 3 times so far. after that year I got out some and met a preacher to look at building them a road and installing a cemetery for the church. well he invited me to church and I joined them the next week. became a member of the pastors council and a usher there. . at a point and time I somehow decided to sing. with a group . I didnt think I could sing hehe but they did so I sang with them about 6 months . but felt I needed to speak so I formed my own group and we stayed together for 4 years singing every week and sometimes twice a week. . we sang for hour concerts and I spoke to the folks after . sometimes preach and sometimes just talk to em. . it was a gospel music ministry and during the time I started it the good LORD helped me to forgive the man who did the bad stuff to me and to start to get feelings. especially a feel for helping others . . . the more I spoke to folke the better I got and youd be surprised at how many folks have been dont that way also. . finally the group broke up and I met a woman and married her also. . I was some better at first I guess but I got further away from the good LORD. no church no bible readin much and it failed also. . you gotta keep GOD in the center for any relations to work. I see that now. . I knew it then but didnt see it ya know. . we all get wake up calls. . I had another 2 heart attacks at the end of june 07 I had the 5 way bypass done and for 6 days I didnt know if I was gonna make it or not. . on the 5th night I prayed to GOD and asked him to take away the pain as I couldnt take it no more. . I said I put me in your hands now. . and do you know all the complications were going away the next morning and I knew then I was gonna be ok. . . thank you LORD . . my wife left while I was in the hospital. . I was back on the tractor in two weeks time . hurt like the dickens but I love it. . doin ok now. . I want to get back to singing and serving and doin. tryin to hear what HE wants me to do now. . and also wanting a real relationship thatll put GOD in the center. . but right now all the blessings ive been bestowed let the GLORY BE TO GOD!!!! now I still aint no perfect man mind you but I am doing my very best to be what HE wants me to be. . remember this give GOD your pain and HE will take it away from you. . but remember you gotta do some of the work too. . [smile] faith without works is dead. . so turn to GOD , HE is still a miracle worker and im living proof of one of them. . . thank you JESUS. . . amen
Thanks for sharing your testimony here, we all should be unashamed to share our pasts and give glory to God for the miracles that He has done in each of our lives.
So here is my testimony for those who were not here before when I posted it. I pray that more will share with us the awesome work that God has done in their lives.
Blesssings, Lydia
This is my testimony
I was a troubled teen who had very low self esteem due to being raised by parents who did not know how to show affection or speak words of affirmation. I guess it showed because there were always adult men there to tell me that my father did not love or understand me like they did. So between the ages of 11 and 12 these men began to provide me with cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol, and also began to abuse me sexually.
This led to a lifestyle of drinking, drugs, and promiscuity that lasted throughout my teenage years. When I became an adult I had seen an ad in a newspaper that said I could make money dating men, so I began a career as a prostitute for an escort service. In my warped mind at the time, I thought that if all men wanted from me was sex then they were going to have to pay for it and that I was taking control of my sexuality. I did not feel that I was hurting anyone and that it is my body to do with as I pleased.
I tried to rationalize what I was doing and thought that I was somehow different from the prostitutes on the street, because I was going to the finest hotels and restaurants with these men. All of the money that I had made was spent on drinking, drugs, travel, and shopping, all in an effort to to make myself feel better about what I was doing. I eventually became very depressed and sought the help of a therapist who encouraged me to pursue my dream of working with animals.
And so I attended a school for dog trainers and bought a ranch in the mountains where I began to board and train dogs. So I lived on a ranch in the mountains with pet cows, pigs, and a burro. I was training dogs and making a great living and thought I had everything that I had ever wanted.
But I was still miserable and empty inside. I thought I must be crazy and that I would never be happy no matter how much I achieved. I felt like there was something wrong with me, that I was dirty, and damaged, and that nobody could ever understand me or love me after all that I had been through. I was also an atheist since about 12 years old and could not be convinced that there was a God in Heaven. Fast forward to March 6th 2005...
When I woke up in the morning and felt compelled to go to church, it was like I had no choice in the matter and I had to go. So I went and introduced myself to the pastor and said " hi, my name is Lydia and I really don't know why I am here, I do not believe in God". The pastor told me that the Holy Spirit brought me. Anyway I went in and felt at home there and after the service the pastor gave me a new believers bible and said that he hoped that I would come back. I went home and read the New Testament in a week, I could not put it down. Two weeks later I asked Jesus to forgive me and confessed Him as my Lord and Savior.
In that moment it was as if the weight of the world was taken off of my shoulders, and I cried like I had not done in very long time. I felt clean, whole, renewed, and restored. The scriptures became very real to me that day. And I know that the blood of Jesus does wash us white as snow, and that we are new creations in Christ. I no longer feel like there is something wrong with me because I am now right with God. The old man has passed away behold all things are new.
I now know what it is like to have joy, contentment, and peace in my life. They are gifts from God that nobody can take away. I know now what my purpose is in this life and it is to serve the Living God and tell everyone of His great love, grace, and mercy. And of the sacrifice that He made on our behalf.
Oh, Lydai! God's Glory is surely resting on you, even now!
Reading your posts, and seeing the Lord's redeeming power at work through your testimony makes my heart sing with joy because Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. I am so thankful that He is no respecter of persons, and doesn't play favorites. Christ has left the same legacy of His Love, Grace, and Mercy over my life as well.
I am praising Him all the way through today because He answered my prayer that you would come back and allow God to speak through you and that I would not miss another opportunity to let you know that I am humbled to be a part of a family that includes you, my Sister.
My sister, it is great to be a part of this family of God. Much love back at ya girl! I do hope an pray that more of our brothers and and sisters will testify as to the miracles that God is doing today in their lives. God is so amazing, I am so encouraged by reading the testimonies of others and to see His awesome power to save, restore, and make whole the broken. Praise the Lord that we are washed by the blood of Jesus and we truly are new creations!
Psalm
30:11 You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,
Psa 30:12 that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks to you forever!
2Co 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
Thanks Ole Cattle, Lydia and Jocelyn for sharing, you are truly blessings to the rest of us. I wrote this short testimony in a note to a newly met sister who is wise and loves the lord greatly. She has added much here in the forums also. i say her name but she already got mad at me once tonight. LOL There are gaps and much left out, one day I will have someone who can type a little faster help me write a full testimony. if I might jump on the wagon with ya...
I left the lord a few years ago when trials came in my marriage, there was much tension between me and the now Ex. I was a somewhat zealous new believer but not deeply rooted, she was not like minded. Things were bad and getting worse I fell away resorting to relying on myself to fix what was wrong and not waiting for God to answer my prayers. Not long after we separated for a time then reconciled for a few more years without God, and miserable. Then about 8 years later she asked for divorce, this was 2/12 years ago.
Now finally about 2 months ago weary from bitterness and in ruin, I'm prompted over a period of a month or so that I should go to this little church that is nearby. On one Sunday am I pop up still hung from the nite before needing to go to church, So I go and arrive only to find a couple (the Ex's sis and hubby) who I held much against for cause of the divorce, sitting behind where I was just about to sit. I just waived, started stewing, but then heard the words the preacher was speaking...
The sermon that day was out of Romans 7 and hit me like Only God hit...right in the heart and to my soul. After the service I met with the two and made peace and we hugged and parted ways. That day I recommitted my life to Christ to serve, grow in faith and to seek his will. I have been reading the Bible and even had a guy working at the Christian book store give me one with large print (eyes are getting bad) as I was about to drive away. Couldn't afford one that day but God does provide doesn't he? I surf around in here reading and trying to meet others of faith for friendship, a visit or just to learn and grow. That's the short version for now folks. Glory be to God!
dear jjar, that was awesome how the LORD spoke to you through the preacher and healed you right there.. and yawl got to make up.. im prayin you get you that new bible with the big letters.. as i get older i think that oughta be the standard version too hehe.. thanks again
Thanks for sharing your testimony with us my brother. It is awesome how God works. I hope that you are wearing out that Bible and I will pray that God will bless you with a godly woman.
