How is your search for love in the cyber world going?
Posted : 21 Jan, 2011 12:25 PM
Now I know of two couples on this site that are an item but how is it going for the rest? I have been on this site since last summer I think and a lot of the same people are single and around. I have some one and am just on this site for research so I can't put input from your situation.
Are people just too picky for there own good? Possibly overlooking some one worth while in hopes of finding some one better?
Is it too vast? With all the people out there is it hard to build some thing?
How many of you have actually meet and dated some one?
Are you also searching in public (not internet)?
Do you think it makes it easer or harder to approach people in the non internet world after spending a lot of time on places like here?
How is your search for love in the cyber world going?
Posted : 21 Jan, 2011 01:06 PM
How is MY search for love in the cyber world going? Not so great, actually. I've been on dating sites for about a year and a half, and so far I've had essentially no luck. But to answer your questions more specifically...
Q: Are people just too picky for their own good? Possibly overlooking someone worthwhile in hopes of finding someone better?
A: This could be a problem. Some of the guys on here have really raked me over the coals for being as picky as I am, so I won't go into much detail here. I AM somewhat picky, primarily because I'm not looking for someone to do things with on the weekends. I'm looking for someone to marry. I figure that if things 'a' and 'b' are potential dealbreakers for marriage, then I may as well go ahead and be thinking about that when looking for someone to date. I do try to keep an open mind, though, and my list of "preferences" isn't all that long.
Q: Is it too vast? With all the people out there is it hard to build something?
A: No, it's not too vast. At least, not on here and not on the other (and larger) site that I was on for a while. There are actually very few people in my age range who live within a days' drive and who also meet even the most basic of my preferences.
Q: How many of you have actually met and dated someone?
A: I started talking to a guy early last January, we met in person in mid-January, and we dated until mid-April. I've not dated anyone else that I met online. (I did get to meet in person a guy that I had gotten to be friends with thanks to this site, but we haven't dated.)
Q: Are you also searching in public (not internet)?
A: Absolutely. I would RATHER meet someone the "old fashioned" way. But I'm still keeping my internet options open.
Q: Do you think it makes it easier or harder to approach people in the non internet world after spending a lot of time on places like here?
A: Both. Easier, because I've gotten to talk to a lot of guys and learned to "speak their language" in some ways. I don't have brothers, so I've not been around a tremendous number of guys over the years. I've also gotten some good advice and tips. In some ways I guess it's harder, though, because it's SO easy online to just send a wink or message, and if the guy ignores it, it doesn't bother me in the least. In the non-internet world, I would have my feelings hurt if a guy just ignored my attempts at conversation...and that does happen sometimes.
How is your search for love in the cyber world going?
Posted : 21 Jan, 2011 02:07 PM
Are people just too picky for there own good? Possibly overlooking some one worth while in hopes of finding some one better?
Some people are a little too picky, basically wanting the guy to practically walk on water. I sometimes feel like I am too picky. Being a little older there are not as many single women near my age. It just seems to me that women who are still single at my age are unmarried because they do not take the search for a spouse seriously. Women are way too busy, sometimes I have wait a month before I can even get a date because they are involved in too many things. I realize that one needs to have a life, but if someone is pursuing you, then you need to rearrange a little bit of your life to let him in. I also find that many women have let themselves go, and don�t seem to care about their appearance anymore. I know that most women are not going to look like the supermodels or actresses, but it would be nice if they at least kept a healthy weight. Women like it when their guy thinks they are beautiful. It�s a lot easier to think that when the women take the effort to look beautiful. I also find that women really do not want to open up. I can understand not wanting to talk about personal things early on, but when they will not even tell you why they like their favorite movie that they listed on their profile, it gets really annoying. It just feels like you have to drag everything out of them.
Marriage is about sharing your life with someone, about changing things around and making room for someone else. I find that the single women my age are not willing to share their lives, they are not willing to make any effort to please someone else. As my older sister (who is married) said, it just shows why they are still single, they are just selfish.
Is it too vast? With all the people out there is it hard to build some thing?
As far as internet dating, most of the site don�t really allow you to find someone by some of the more important criteria, like BC said. If you stick to the people in your own church, or friends of friends, then you will most likely meet people with similar values to your own. But, on dating sites you have to go through a lot of people before you can find someone. It would be nice if there was a lot more info, such as theological and political points of view. Sounds strange, but many of the decisions you make in life have a basis in those points of view. That would tell you a lot about how you would get along.
Are you also searching in public (not internet)?
I�ve basically gone through all the women in my church, and my friends and family all seems to be suffering from amnesia, since they have never met anyone that is single near my age in the past 20 years. Would I try to get to know someone from outside the internet, absolutely.
Do you think it makes it easer or harder to approach people in the non internet world after spending a lot of time on places like here?
I find it a little harder since I know absolutely nothing about them. Not to mention I don�t do well under pressure. Online at least you can see a little bit from the profile, and you can take your time typing out the messages.
Personally, I don�t think that the way you search for someone makes it easier or harder. The determining factor is whether or not you are serious about finding someone. I have found that most are not serious about marriage.
How is your search for love in the cyber world going?
Posted : 21 Jan, 2011 03:32 PM
Not sure, since I'm not really looking for love, so to say, at this moment. I'm looking for friends, most of which I've made here in the forums since I've had a major lack of success in messaging women here.
Are people just too picky for there own good? Possibly overlooking some one worth while in hopes of finding some one better?
In some ways, yes. I can understand being picky when it comes to beliefs and moral/ethical standards, and I don't take issue there. My problem is when people look only on the outside and immediately ignore or turn that person away because they aren't good looking enough to appear on a magazine cover or in a movie, and thus miss out on someone who could've at least been a friend/online pen pal with a great personality. If they're Christians, they should show God's love to all people, just as Christ did during His earthly ministry. They should also be open to the possibility of God's will placing them with someone that might not meet the par of their checklist concerning good looks.
Is it too vast? With all the people out there is it hard to build some thing?
In a sense, it is. Not only do you have to search through a lot of profiles to find people that you would be interested in getting to know, but as has been stated earlier, some more search factors would be nice. There is also the issue of dead profiles that haven't been active for months or years, which we have no idea how long someone hasn't been on the site.
And it can be hard to build something, if there isn't much to talk about, due to either one of the profiles lacking in detail or one party losing interest during correspondence.
How many of you have actually meet and dated some one?
No, due partly to the fact that I have yet to actually succeed in conversing with an American girl and not having the necessary funds to fly to another country to meet someone.
Are you also searching in public (not internet)?
Not really, since I'm only looking for friends.
Do you think it makes it easer or harder to approach people in the non internet world after spending a lot of time on places like here?
It depends on the person. For me personally, I have had the same amount of difficulty approaching women in a non-internet setting both before and after spending time here and in other dating sites.
How is your search for love in the cyber world going?
Posted : 21 Jan, 2011 10:55 PM
I've been on here a while, and I'm still single, so I guess you could say it's not going particularly well, but I choose not to look at it that way. I'm really here for the forums and only occasionally message a girl I think is exceptional. I meet a lot of people in real life, but I don't usually click with them. I'm ok with that though. I desire to get married, but I've had this nagging feeling for a while that I'm going to get married later rather than sooner. You give up a lot when you date/marry someone, so if I'm going to commit to that, she's gotta be darn special. I've had a number of girlfriends in the past, including one I met online a couple years ago, so it's not like I haven't dated. I just haven't found anyone I really click with...yet.
How is your search for love in the cyber world going?
Posted : 22 Jan, 2011 10:43 PM
Are people just too picky for there own good? Possibly overlooking some one worth while in hopes of finding some one better?
Yes. The problem with the dating site's I've seen is they give people too many matches. People end up being way too picky. I wish these sites would drastically cut down on the number of matches offered. It would make the whole process easier.
How is your search for love in the cyber world going?
Posted : 23 Jan, 2011 07:46 AM
While I have met several nice men through online dating sites, and even dated a couple of them short-term, I have not found the one the Lord has chosen for me.
What I have found most daunting...and nearly discouraging, is the number of average looking, seemingly ideal men, both here and elsewhere, who send me messages simply because of my looks. One of these men told me he wanted nothing to do with me when I mentioned my strong faith, positive qualities, and slight weight gain in my reply.
Seems that some men, even on here, are looking more for the elusive Barbie Doll than they are the love and companionship of a satient, faith-filled woman, flaws and all!!
Forgot to mention, I have not met anyone from this site in person, though I have had many, many conversations with a few good men I connected with on here.
Another roadblock for me, as a Christian woman looking for a marriage partner, is the number of men who consider themselves Christians simply because they were baptised or Christened as children. A man who does not strive to live his life daily in a way that honors God is not the man for me!!!!!
How is your search for love in the cyber world going?
Posted : 24 Jan, 2011 09:42 AM
How is your search for love in the cyber world going?
*** Ha ! Ha ! Ha !�I�ve been on this site since 2009 with 3 profiles to date�I gave up looking for LOVE ona dating site along time ago�Ifin ima focused on the Search for LOVE�ima losen focus on Christ Jesus who is my 1st LOVE�
Are people just too picky for there own good? Possibly overlooking some one worthwhile in hopes of finding some one better?
*** Probly some Truth here for people�I don�t have expectations of others�but I do have HIGH expectations of GOD knowing what & who is best for me�I follow His lead, not mine�
Is it too vast? With all the people out there is it hard to build some thing?
*** Well Ya !�It�s a Great Big World out there�Realationships take time, investment, work�I believe Most people look at the Long Distance an say�its never gona happen�Why do people sell them selves an others short ??? Jeremiah 29:11~ For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, ( to give you an expected end. ) Mark 10:27~ And Jesus looking upon them saith, With men it is impossible, but not with God: ( for with God all things are possible. )
How many of you have actually meet and dated some one?
*** Nada�I really don�t have a lot of spare time for Dating�Dating to me is to find out what you like, don�t like, need or want ina relationship�In youth we learn�in age we understand�I�ve not met one Gent ( Face to Face ) in my area or within 100 miles that is interested ina Dating ( Friendship First ) let alone LOVE�lol�
Are you also searching in public (not internet)?
*** Nope !�Like I said�I gave up Searchin�I jus keep my Focus on GOD/Jesus�He puts people in my life for His purpose�Ifin He puts before me a Gent that is All bout Christ Jesus also�there is always a possibility that a relationship could come to be�
Do you think it makes it easer or harder to approach people in the non-Internet world after spending a lot of time on places like here?
***Nope !�I don�t spend a lot of time here�I approach people all the time�I jus approach them bout Jesus 1st�I find its easier to meet Gents in the Field�( Outreach/ Mission/Ministry ) than ona Datin site�
