Author	Thread: I am a little frightened
hubbarddebra99 View Profile History	I am a little frightened Posted : 30 Sep, 2010 11:13 AM yesterday am guy IMed me. I don't know a lot about IM, but we talked. He seems pleasant enough. However, he seems too eager to get my personal e-mail, (I did Not give it) and is already talking about meeting! (oh, no no, not yet) I honestly don't think he's a scammer, or a bad person; just really lonely. However, it is creeping me out!!!!!!!!!!!! Plus, I honestly DON"T think I like him that way. I am VERY new at this, please help me out! I don't wanta hurt his feelings, but I'm more and more not attracted! Post Reply
View Profile History	I am a little frightened Posted : 30 Sep, 2010 11:31 AM Go with your insticts (God's discernment). You have your answer in your post. Run. Post Reply
hubbarddebra99 View Profile History	I am a little frightened Posted : 30 Sep, 2010 11:36 AM thanks girlfriend! Post Reply
SilverFire View Profile History	I am a little frightened Posted : 1 Oct, 2010 03:13 PM Do you know why he wants to meet so soon? If he's a typical guy, I'll tell you. He knows that meeting quickly is the best way to get a good impression of the person. Emailing for months, talking on the phone, even IMing lets him fill in the details incorrectly. I always try to meet quickly now, and that's because I was the guy who was emailing, chatting, talking for a while before, and when I met the girl -- whammo. Reality met the impression I had in my head, and it wasn't pleasant. This is a site to meet people. It always makes me laugh when people complain about finding people who want to meet them on a dating site. What are you here for, after all? Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	I am a little frightened Posted : 1 Oct, 2010 03:55 PM I agree that meeting someone is kinda the point of these sites, but I still like to talk to a guy a few times online before giving out a phone number or email address, and then I'd still want a little bit longer before meeting him in person. Sometimes, the longer I talk to someone, the less I want to meet him. Ideally, I would feel the opposite, and that's why I have met a couple guys in person. The most priceless conversation I had via IM happened last fall. The guy said he wanted to meet me in person...after 2 minutes (yes, you read that right) of conversation! I asked him if he realized that we lived 5 hours apart, and he said that he'd be willing to drive any distance to meet me as soon as possible. I told him that I just wasn't comfortable with that (at best, the conversation had been completely superficial I couldn't tell that we had anything in common). He got MAD at me! Said that girls never wanted to meet him, and he might just move to California, and girls are nicer out there, and DIDN'T I EVEN CARE? I ended that conversation quickly! Moral of the story, if you aren't comfortable with the speed the guy is going, tell him so. If he respects you, he'll slow down to your speed. BUT, don't lead him on. Decide within a reasonable length of time whether or not you want to meet him in person and get to know him better. Post Reply
View Profile History	I am a little frightened Posted : 5 Oct, 2010 04:50 AM I had the same thing happen to me. Plus, he sent me a wink? He asked for my yahoo and I said I didn't give that out until I knew someone for a while. Guess what, I looked to see who winked at me later on and it said he was banned from the site!! You can talk on here, e-mail and IM, so I don't think it hurts at all waiting to give our your personal e-mail. Post Reply
View Profile History	I am a little frightened Posted : 6 Oct, 2010 01:11 PM Totaly agree with what Bcpianogal shared. Had the same thing happen and I was not comfortable at all...Pateance is a Virtur and Impateance is a Red Flag...xo Post Reply
View Profile History	I am a little frightened Posted : 7 Oct, 2010 07:28 PM I would take it slowly. There are a lot of nice guys on here, but there are also scam artists. If you explain your concerns, and he doesn't listen that is a red flag even if he is 100% legit. It says he is more concerned about himself than you. Post Reply
hubbarddebra99 View Profile History	I am a little frightened Posted : 13 Oct, 2010 12:41 PM wow, i opened can o' worms! okay how long is proper to meet? Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	I am a little frightened Posted : 13 Oct, 2010 03:41 PM How long is proper? However long it takes for you to feel comfortable meeting him. In my limited experience, I've only met two guys. One I'd talked to for a year, but since we were/are online-only friends, there was no pressure to meet...we just got lucky and ended up an hour away from each other over the summer. However, I would have been comfortable meeting him after about a month of communication. The other guy I've met lived much closer, and we met 16 days after I sent the first wink. I think that's probably unusual...he was actively pursuing me, though, and we met in a place that was VERY safe and public. There have been plenty of guys that I talked to for longer but never felt comfortable meeting (for a variety of reason). Post Reply
hubbarddebra99 View Profile History	I am a little frightened Posted : 15 Oct, 2010 11:42 AM bcpianogal, so how did it go? you may want to start another post for this. Post Reply

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