Author Thread: "Sister"hood
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"Sister"hood
Posted : 11 Aug, 2010 02:53 PM

Can I get some opinions, please? Am I really the only one who feels uncomfortable and sometimes upset when a man calls me "sister" even tho i'm not interested in him otherwise anyway?

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Rabbit32

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"Sister"hood
Posted : 11 Aug, 2010 03:01 PM

weelll, it is biblical, we as Christians are united in Christ sharing the same spirit. We have become one body with Him, and we are his bride.

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"Sister"hood
Posted : 11 Aug, 2010 07:40 PM

If the man is a Christian, it doesn't bother him at all. The Bible says I AM his sister.

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"Sister"hood
Posted : 12 Aug, 2010 02:04 PM

In agreement here...I'd much rather a Gent on here I've yet ta meet face ta face be callin me sister than baby, honey or somethin maybe less appropriate...:winksmile:...xo

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"Sister"hood
Posted : 12 Aug, 2010 04:32 PM

I know I was hoping that someone would understand how I feel. But-maybe I have to explain it.



I grew up with 5 men -dad & 4brothers. I feel very comfortable with men in general & it is rare for me to find a man impressive. Even when I do find one I admire, I tend to "brotherize" him emotionally. It is automatic & usually a really good place to start to familiarize myself with a strange man. (who graduates to friend & then boyfriend in the emotional connection chain)



However, when a man calls me "sister" I accurately suppose that he has just decided that I have no promotional qualities. For me, brotherhood is a start, but for men sisterhood is a sentence & I feel pre-judged as a woman with no man-wanted qualites by someone who PRE-supposes that this LIE is a just synopsis of who I am as a person.



Whether or not I would want a relationship with him -my respect for him is erased with the idea that he has PRE-UNqualified me for a future he duznt even know I am fit for. Even tho I cant even want him at this point, I feel that it's a cruel gesture that he would address me as such b/c he duznt know me & I DON'T know what he means by it.



I don't want to be every1's sister for goodness sake -I'm hoping to find some1 who is old enuf to see women AS women & still find them acceptable without having to "spiritualize" things to justify a connection you dont want to escalate. Just be honest for goodness sake & stop playin a sista...(:laugh:)

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springrose10

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"Sister"hood
Posted : 12 Aug, 2010 04:55 PM

I now see why this distresses you. However, I don't think your explanation is going to change the guy's answers.



When a man calls me sister, I simply see it as an acknowledgement that we are both a part of the family of God. Some what like the first believers used an icthus fish to identify each other. I don't see it as a comment on my dateability in any way. Who better to date than a "Brother in Christ?" As a matter of fact, that is how Sandiaboy started out addressing me. Now, if he calls me sister, I know he is making a reference to his admiration of my faith, not his feelings toward me.



Hopes this helps,

Rose

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Rabbit32

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"Sister"hood
Posted : 12 Aug, 2010 05:47 PM

One suggestion, just accept that you are a sister in Christ. I see all women in the body as my sister. :)



Food for thought, most men will guague wether they find a woman attractive instantly and unconciously.

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Posted : 12 Aug, 2010 05:57 PM

Yeah -i know it's an automatic "christianese" idea for some people. I KNOW theologically, I am a sister -but that is a spiritual connection with an otherwise stranger. We are linked through Christ. I'm not diminishing it. I am distinguishing it.



I don't want to be seen as a "spirit" alone -it makes me a number in a crowd, not an individual with a mind & personality & uniqueness.



I am a fellow-worshipper as well, but why cant anyone see me as a PERSON & still treat me as a "sister" in Christ. The Bible commands us to TREAT each other this way -not NAME each other like this. What's important is that you HONOR each other as brothers and sisters. But -call me sister BEFORE I getcha & I'm seriously disillusioned by you altogether b/c there still ARE some folks who use that term to define how they feel about you. Thats why I get confused by it.

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"Sister"hood
Posted : 12 Aug, 2010 06:01 PM

I appreciate the comments -good help & really like hearing from my peers. ya'all the best.

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Rabbit32

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"Sister"hood
Posted : 12 Aug, 2010 10:03 PM

to be honest with you a woman with a high degree of "spirit" or spiritual saturation will be hard for me to resist. A woman who inside has been transformed to be alot like my Christ will have my heart quick, because no one loves me like ,y Lord. Besides if you can agape your ennemy, surley you can phileo a brother/sister you've never met.



But I hear what your saying.

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"Sister"hood
Posted : 18 Aug, 2010 03:21 PM

i agree, rabbit. i could never dicover a "type" of man for me, but the one thing that can never fail to turn my head is a man with wisdom -DOES the will of God and refuses to be diverted from it. I appreciate depth and cannot connect with someone who does not "get" me spiritually. there is something to be said about being spiritually compatible & able to talk about things that matter in an eternal way.

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