Author	Thread: Am I ready to date?
sdsurfgirl View Profile History	Am I ready to date? Posted : 4 Jan, 2010 11:52 PM Howdy folks. I think I'm ready to start dating again but haven't actually been on a date yet. I'm taking my time and thinking and praying aout it. I'm careful and deliberate in most of my actions. Emphasis on "most" of my actions. LOL So, if you don't mind sharing an intimate detail or two about yourselves, how did you know you were ready to date again (after divorce) and how did it go? Were you able to rely on your judgement of character? A few of my friends have urged me to stay away from "online dating" so I have my gaurd up. What do you say? Post Reply
View Profile History	Am I ready to date? Posted : 5 Jan, 2010 08:03 AM dear sd, i think when you get past the stage of i think im ready to date again.. and get to the stage i know im ready to date again then youll be ready.. ya know when you fell off the horse and got divorced or got your heart broke.. you get right back on that ole hoss as thats the quickest way to get past the fears.. the longer you take to think about it, the more frightening youll make it in your mind. . thus maybe missing out on some wonderful opportunities in the meantime.. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	Am I ready to date? Posted : 5 Jan, 2010 02:44 PM surfgirl start out just looking for a friend.Close to home is best.I have found ladies in Ohio but they never write back.I am just looking for a friend also.When you date remember you have already done this.With your ex.It is just starting over again.Make it fun and relax.You may want to add to your profile that you want some one close to home.However it is good to be just friends and write to someone across the states.I live in Ohio and I love the snow.I may send some to you on your date.Tell me when and where.Humor goes a long way.:ROFL:How much snow?it is snowing here right now.I want to share it with all my christian brothers and sisters.:purpleangel::dancingp::ROFL: Give and it shall be returned to you a 1,000 fold. I want to Bless you all with snow.:bow: Please except:waving: Post Reply
sdsurfgirl View Profile History	Am I ready to date? Posted : 5 Jan, 2010 05:36 PM What if I don't feel attracted to someone and they know it but they want to go on a date anyway? Isn't that sort of like leading someone on if I accept a date? Why would someone keep trying to be more than just friends when they know the affection won't be reciprocated? Guys...please tell me if you know the answer to this one. I think I should just wait for there to be chemistry before I go out with anyone. I'm still waiting for that attraction and I haven't felt it yet. Post Reply
View Profile History	Am I ready to date? Posted : 5 Jan, 2010 09:39 PM dear sd, they just hopin i recon... i wouldnt go on a date i knew would never go anywhere ... thats just not me.. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	Am I ready to date? Posted : 5 Jan, 2010 10:21 PM Dear SDSurfGirl, I think good friendship is the first step with that person. If you feel the good friendship, I think you are ready for a date with that person. Post Reply
View Profile History	Am I ready to date? Posted : 6 Jan, 2010 02:00 PM For some reasons a have met women I can not stand.They were crazy about me.They wanted a date and would not give up.They were too much like my mother.I want someone that fits my needs not somebody elses.A good friend can advise and maybe, be a good date.A friend understands that you may just want to be friends.Nothing wrong with dating a friend on occasion just to have fun.As long as both parties know there is no romance.if they want more then you may have to end it.Just say you want to be friends only to a man who will not stop,ok.Many women said that to me before I got married.Dennis Post Reply
1Godskid2 View Profile History	Am I ready to date? Posted : 15 Jan, 2010 07:12 AM I think having your gaurd up is a very good thing! People can make themselves look like something they are not, particularly online. Although I was not married to my previous (engaged for a few years) LTR, and previously being hurt, it was hard to open my mind and believe that there could not possibly be that many dishonest, hurtful men out there and that I can open my heart and trust again. I was saved by the lord while I was in my last LTR and he was not a believer, so God wouldn't have ordained it anyway. After recoving from that relationship I decided that the Lord would have me consider ONLY Christian men as potential matches hence, here. I have found that although there are Christian men here, there are some who are not and either pretend to be, or think they are but their words and actions proove otherwise. The sad reality is, there are scammers, players, and preditors in our society...the enemy is always lurking and looking for a way in to steal, kill, and destroy! I found someone on this website and made a connection. It moved very quickly and I ended up falling in love with this person. He appeared to be my Mr. right! I was feeling things my heart had never felt for anyone before...which I had never even experienced/felt for my ex-husband. He was successful in his career, was an author and musician, and a ministry leader in his church. I gave and opened my heart to this man and was estatic about our future. He told me how amazing I was, the feelings he had for me were incredible and intense, how crazy he was about me....long story short, he got me in a situation, as a ministry leader, he knew was innappropriate and ended up manipulating, cohercing me, and taking advantage of my trust/feelings for him. Then, Mr. right turned into Mr. horrible at the drop of a hat! Jeckle and Hyde!! He dumped me and mentally beat me up with his insults, critisizims, judgements, and picked me apart piece by piece. Even would tell me how I wasn't good enough (not meeting his, unrealistic, standards) and kept refferring me to his book and page numbers I apparently needed to study on!! Turned out that Mr. wonderful ministry man, was egotistical, self-rightgeous, hypocritical, self-worshipping, prideful.....no man of God! My heart was hurting (slept 22 hours in 130 hrs and ate almost nothing) and I was devestated but after I got over the heartbreak of my own heart, I realized how heartbroken and upset the Lord must be with such a man, hiding behind the cross and even using it to get what he selfishly wants, and to hurt people. I realized the Lord was giving me a teaching, that things that look and sound good aren't always good b/c the enemy is all about trickery, was using my want/desire to be able to shower a God loving/serving man with my love, respect, and honor was an open window the the enemy to slither in, and knock me down. I learned I must gaurd my heart. It is difficult to find a real Christian man who understands and practices the honor that he is commanded to, not only to the Lord but to a woman. A man such as that, will be blessed with an incredible woman who who love, honor, respect...and take care of him. The evils of the world have encroached even in "Christian" places and lives. I do not want anyone to suffer the hurt and pain that I had, at the hands of a deceptive man (or woman, in re: of the guys). Please be cautious. "Lord, I pray that we are covered with your protection as we reach out to follow your commandment of finding a potential helpmate that has the heart of you lord! I pray that each and every one of us are blessed with your gift of sound mind and clearity of vision. May our friendships made here glorify you father and keep the enemy out. If the enemy makes his way in somehow, I rebuke him in the name of our glorious Jesus Christ" Amen! Good luck sister! Post Reply
Inkabink View Profile History	Am I ready to date? Posted : 15 Jan, 2010 07:35 PM ... Post Reply
View Profile History	Am I ready to date? Posted : 20 Jan, 2010 02:46 PM I knew a woman who told many that the man she is so in love with today, was a man that would come around to her place, fix up stuff, but she was not interested, he would ask her out, and she pleasantly turned her down... he wasn't the type she usually went out with, and didn't feel any attraction. Then her mother told her to just try it, go out with him. She is married for two years and they still dance in the kitchen. i guess that's why they call it "dating" ... it's the time to get to know them, more than face value. My first date after my divorce (actually separation period), was like a release... i could finally get the taste of my ex out of my mouth, metaphorically speaking. It helped me to move on to enjoy and take pleasure being without him and with other men. b.w. Post Reply
View Profile History	Am I ready to date? Posted : 21 Feb, 2010 02:14 PM Did you figure out the answer to your question? Please tell me.... :rolleyes: Hmmmmmmm, I have not dated since seperation and divorce. Then again, it has only been several years... Wait a minute please............ Years..... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, yes, it just hit me it has been years, and years. I will go back to the top of this response and find the answer to your question....:angel: Post Reply