I swear I may be the Queen of Bad Dates, but you know its true, you have to laugh, if only so you don't scream!
I have several but this one truly takes top honors:
I had been talking to this guy for quite some time online and he was local, and I had already determined that he was not a convict or on parole or anything like that, so I decide to take a shot at this online dating thing.
Now I believe a Sporting event is a great first date because it gives you a chances to see just how much fun your date really is, it is somewhat relaxed, and even if things aren't great, there is always the game.
With this in mind, we decide to meet for dinner and go to a Hockey game (I am a huge Hockey fan, he had never been to one). Well he was late getting off work, so asked if we could meet at KFC instead. Okay, I am not offended by fast food if the company is good, that is what counts.
So we meet and the first thing I notice is that he does not look like his picture. In fact he looks at least 15 years older than his photo, and significantly heavier, I would say at least 75 pounds.
He is my age but looks a lot older, and we order and I am sitting across from him when I notice he has no teeth. None. I cannot see a single tooth in his mouth. Do you know how hard it is to not stare at someone sitting right across the table from you when you notice something like this. I mean, you keep looking to see if you can see a tooth in there at all, but you don't want to stare and make the person uncomfortable. I mean, Men, I am not proud, up until this point I was okay with the photo being a lie, but I swear ya gotta have dentures in there at least. Before leaving KFC, decision is already made that there will be NO Goodnight Kiss.
So we get through dinner and we each drive over to the hockey game. He is expecting blood on ice and ending up on the ten o'clock news etc, and I have to explain that those expectations are not terribly realistic.
We at least have good seats near our goalie, just up from the handicap section and its not very crowded. A sweet old couple sits down one row to the right of us, so they are between us and the other end of the ice. She has obviously had a stroke, but they are out for night on the town and seem to be enjoying themselves, and I love to see that.
The hockey game, believe it or not is boring. Hockey is never boring. Our offense it cooking, but our goalie just watches four goals slide right in like "oh my, where did that come from". In the mean time I am finding out all sorts of things about my date that I do not want to know, like he lives in an apartment with a female room mate because it is so affordable, and he only works part time. The reason he only works part time is because his psych meds do not allow him to work full time. Wow.
So we are finally in the third period and garsh darn if we can't just lose the game and go home, but no, they have to tie it up and we go into a fourth period.
Things heat up down the ice and things get exciting and everyone stands up including the little old man between us and the far ice, except when he stands up, his sweat pants do not. Oh, yeah, FULL MOON MADNESS right there, in your face.
And the fourth period ends and its still tied so we go into shoot out, which is normally a great hockey game, but this game is seriously bad. We lose in shoot out and finally I get to go home.
Needless to say there was no good night kiss, nor were there any future dates with this gentleman.
My second worst date was my one and only blind date, set up by (of all people) my sister. I was much younger then, around 20 I believe and my date was this hispanic gentleman that was probably around 15 years older than I was, which at twenty was quite a stretch. To this day I prefer maybe 5 years younger to 10 years older. His hygiene was less then desirable to say the least.
It was a double date and her date was a hottie, and it really didn't help that they were making out in the back seat a good share of the time.
We went to the circus. The date was not ultimately horrible however until after the circus was over and were headed back to my sister's place and we were on the freeway and he changed lanes without looking. You guessed it, right into another car. Took about two and a half hours for the police to show up to take a report.
Since that time, I have never allowed my sister to set me up with anyone.
Wait, I did have another blind date about six months later. He stood me up. He didn't get another shot either.
Like I say, sometimes you laugh so you don't scream! lol But in their defense, I am sure they both had teeth!
Oh, I can't even begin to top that - I laughed out loud through the whole thing and plan on sharing this with friends. Too funny!!!
I think my worst was when I met a guy in person for the first time that I had talked to a lot on the phone and somehow thought he was a normal decent person. (We too, met online.) We met at a sports bar (this one really was pretty much a restaurant with a bunch of big screen TV's, tap beer and a couple pool tables).
He started the date by showing me a naked picture of Paris Hilton on his phone, and when I reacted, he apologized and said, "I guess I shouldn't have done that." (He thought the picture was funny - I have no idea why). I immediately decided he was an idiot, but didn't want to get up and walk out, although I easily could have and wouldn't have been blamed for it.
We chatted and I don't know how it was possible, but he just got weirder and weirder with every sentence. He told me how much his friends and family were going to just absolutely LOVE me and that I would get along great with his mom. With his MOM. This was maybe 15 minutes into the date.
I asked if he played pool (hoping this would give us something to do so I wouldn't have to talk to him so much) and he agreed to a game. Ever had a guy basically follow you around a pool table saying, 'You're my girlfriend now, right? I mean, we're dating now, right?" I have. I was still nice about it and told him we had just met and we'd see how things went, but I knew it was time to cut this date a little short. (At this point, I really wasn't sure about this guy's mental stability and I didn't want him to go postal on me in a crowded restaurant.)
I excused myself to use the ladies room, called my daughter (who was 19 at the time) and said, "GET ME OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW." She started uncontrollably and said she'd call me in five minutes.
Six minutes later my phone rang (oh yeah, I was counting) and she made it loud enough for him to hear - told me she needed me to come home right away cause she got called into work. I excused myself as politely as I could and when I got home, my daughter was still .
For Christmas that year (oh yes, the whole family heard about this date), my sister bought me a t-shirt with a stick figure girl, and an incredibly goofy looking stick figure guy on it. The caption? "I met him online."
I wonder if it would be rude to start asking guys for at least two references from previous girlfriends. I'm still on good terms with pretty much everyone I've ever dated. Well, except maybe the guy I told you about. Lol
Latest guy stood me up for church the Sunday before last, no phone call no nothing, so when I got my computer back online about five days ago, I emailed him and asked him if everything was okay, and he puts it back on me that I have been too busy for him (duh, I am remodeling my house, but I still take his calls). Last call I got from him he confirmed we were on for church, and had to run. Don't hear from him for several days so Saturday night I leave a message, saying I would see him in church, then he stands me up without a call or anything, then claims it is somehow my fault. Hmm....I don't think so! I don't think this is really about me at all, but I call him on his bad behavior that it is really not very respectful or considerate, and if he wanted to break the date, just call and break it. Personally, I think he was fake and just didn't want to go to church.
So he was giving me the silent treatment till I emailed him. Now he's all ticked after I called him on behaving badly, tells me people like me are the reason he doesn't like Christians (???). Last two emails from him had all kind of F'ing expletives. After the first I told him to leave me alone and now this morning when I came home from work and found it, I blocked him. It was on another site.
Funny isn't it how he was probably planning to never speak to me again, and I dump him and now he can't leave me alone. I am just grateful that the Lord brought his true colors out early.
Oh, and get this, after he stands me up and insults me, he tells me how much he thoroughly enjoyed our date a couple weeks earlier. (???)
Wonder if he would be hurt if I recommended a good therapist!
I hate fighting, hope he just goes away, cuz if he doesn't, he'll just be talking to himself because I won't be answering the phone or any of his email messages if he starts emailing my email address.:boxing::boxing::boxing:
Wonder if he really thinks being a good Christian means being a doormat that will put up with being treated badly, smile and say 'oh, that's okay honey' Not me.
Help me laugh, cuz otherwise this one's gonna make me scream!:yay:
dear folks, i ought not tell it but when i was about 17 or so my friend and like a second dad who i worked with and hung around set me up on a blind date one night.. well i was there when he called her and set up for us to meet at the waffle house.. she said shed have a cowboy hat on and be at the bar.. she was older than me by a bit.. and well as a young man of great confidence i went on.. when i got there i seen her with her back to me. so i went up and poked her on her shoulder and said my name .. when she turned around she was every bit of 8 or 9 months pregnant..
i admit i was floored but didnt show it as i figured my friend and buddies had followed me and was watchin it all unfold.. hehe
so i took her on to pizza hut and well we was ready to order and a beautiful little waitress came and asked us to take our order.. i said ill have a glass of milk ma what do you want? lol i know now that was not very nice of me. what was a guy to do hehe
anyways when i took her home and went back to my friends house he was rollin on the floor when i got there.. i could of kilt him ... but i did get payback finally one day..
disclaimer:remember folks this was 19 years before i became a christian man.. hehe
Wow. I feel so sheltered. I've met a few people from online and they have all turned out fairly.
One lady did just stop talking to me, but that's not so out of the ordinary. No harm done. One had the cajones to tell me "I dont think we need to see eachother again, but I'd like to finish up tonight," rather than just bailing out.
Most of the weirdos have come from when I've given things away and advertised it online.
geesh. How do some of these people function in real life?
uncontrollably and said she'd call me in five minutes.