Author Thread: From the woman's side
Gesima

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From the woman's side
Posted : 6 May, 2020 01:11 AM

I'm a newcomer, I do not know how to use this application, I see an interesting profile then what next? I feel awkward about sending messages first and I never send a wink even though I like their profile, am I wrong? How do you make this application work properly?

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Jayzeee

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Posted : 6 May, 2020 04:08 AM

Hi Gesima you have a few options you could add them to favourites, or send or send them a wink and wait to see if you get a response. Or your could step out in faith and send a brief well thought out introductory message all the best...:-)

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Posted : 6 May, 2020 04:27 AM

Adding on to Jayzeee said, another possibility is to send them a message and ask them questions about their hobbies, values, and beliefs about the Bible. A kind reminder to not stay clear of questions such as, "how much money do you make?" Men generally would want to know you're genuinely interested in their personality and not solely on their livelihood. - Regards from Canada

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T0TH3M4X

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Posted : 6 May, 2020 07:10 AM

Welcome. You can get to know people in the forums/chat or send messages to them directly. Feel free to jump right in and share with everybody. God bless.

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Posted : 6 May, 2020 09:18 AM

Hi Gessima. You are not wrong in 'not' wanting to send someone a wink. It depends on your conscience. Some may view it as 'flirting' and others may view it as something that is mentioned in the Bible, but in a different context, as being deceptive.

That being said, you could send someone you are interested in a very 'brief' introduction, like "hi" and if they respond, keep praying about it, and such. Brevity doesn't give too much information, and you can see if they are interested in you back. Also, if someone is kind enough to risk rejection and write to you, and you are not interested in them, you can write back and say "thanks" but I don't have the same feelings for you, etc. It's being kind back to them, and if they still pursue, and you are uncomfortable, you can block them from contacting you. I hope this helps... Blessings.

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Posted : 6 May, 2020 09:23 AM

Great advice.

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RetroMillennial^

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Posted : 6 May, 2020 02:57 PM

Hello Gesima, and welcome to the site! I hope you find what you're looking for and have a blessed time!

Since it's been normal for a long time for guys to make the first move, it's perfectly understandable that you might be unsure how to approach someone you're interested in. The "rules" about this are changing, though, so it's much more acceptable now for women to make that first move too, so I don't think it would be a problem if you decided to send a message first. You can think of it this way too: If his search settings wouldn't bring your profile up, the only way he might notice you is if you do reach out to him first.



Winks... Hmm, I'm not sure about those myself. They seem to mean something different to each person and some really have no use for them at all (I've seen a few forum posts about this before), so I'm not sure there's a right or wrong about it. I've always taken them as a "hi there" kind of message, but the problem is, because it's so vague, I'm not sure what to do with one other than "wink" back. That's why I don't use them myself if I'm trying to reach out to someone. I have the same problem with adding someone as a "favorite." I find that even more confusing than a wink. So if you're interested in someone but he hasn't noticed you yet, probably the best way to let him know you're interested is to send a message.

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Posted : 2 Jun, 2020 07:23 AM

I cannot answer your question, Gesima, because I have the same issue too. I am too shy (or insecure) to take the initiative in order for someone to notice me. 🤦‍♀️

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Moonlight7

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Posted : 2 Jun, 2020 09:16 AM

Oftentimes people don't reply to a No picture message.



Actually many men ask for more pictures here . St least that's been my experience.

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dance2cedm

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Posted : 9 Aug, 2020 09:12 PM

Others here have already mentioned the ways you can let someone know of your interest -- wink, message, add to favorites. Everyone has their preferences and what each action means to them. Here are mine.



I rarely respond to a message where someone just writes "hi," especially because for so long I specifically stated on my profile that I was looking for messages that were more than a few words. I eventually removed it because it was clear that the people who were just writing "hi" weren't reading my profile anyway. If someone writes to me, I want to have some evidence that they've actually read my profile so that I know that their interest in me is genuine. Even if it's a one-sentence message that reveals there's something I wrote that interests them, that's a good way to start a conversation.



I never send winks. I know some women are shy about making the first move (or perhaps even against it), so I may check out their profile if I think there's a possibility I may be interested.



I mostly use Favorites for times when I'm browsing and see someone I want to consider but don't have time at the moment. If I still like them after I later read their profile, I'll leave them in Favorites; otherwise I remove them.



Another way I use Favorites is for women who have settings that prevent me from writing to them, hoping they'll see that they're on my Favorites and at least be curious enough to check out my profile. For example, I've noticed women whose acceptable age settings are all younger than their current age, so I'm guessing they haven't adjusted their settings as they've gotten older (if they're even on the site anymore). It seems, though, that sometimes CDFF won't even let me add them to my Favorites if I'm not completely within their settings.

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