Author	Thread: My life was not to be like this......
Raffie View Profile History	My life was not to be like this...... Posted : 10 Feb, 2020 10:32 PM When I was growing up always had the concept I would get married, have a family, friends and a job. You know, the regular everyday thing most people have. At least all the ones I know and grew up with. I'm XX years old now and, well, can't help that feeling I been robbed big time in my life. The few women I ever had in my life are but faded memories, longest relationship was 5 years (Never do that again with a non-believer), but was always called the Good Guy (little did I know what that really meant. hehe) About the only good things I had was a job, and that too is now gone. I have a big family (relatives) and they always showing their family, kids, grand kids and so forth. My immediate family is just my brother and I. The only 2 who never married or had kids, well he never wanted to and he dates all the time, but me I wanted to but seldom ever find a date. I have fallen into this weird this for the past 10 years, feels like I'm hallow inside. I pray a lot and do my best to follow what Jesus tells us. I spend more time alone than I can count, and not because I want to. My few friends are married and got kids. My friends and family tell me the stupidest things about cheer up and this and that, yet, they have never walked in my shoes and spent most their life on the outside looking in. If I have a long line, one end would be +100 (never been this happy ever) and other end is -100 (its been 3 seconds I should have died) in the middle is 0 (neutral). I'm always stuck at -10 (melancholy). Was an extrovert till I was about 30 then just got tired of being alone and watching everyone move on in life while my I was anchored to the ground. Now I guess I'm an introvert. I don't visit with anyone and just mind my own business. Now and then I go out to eat, but don't even look around, but I listen and hear a wide range of discussions. Its as if I'm removed from society (now days that is kind of a good thing). There is just no where to meet anyone, I won't go to a bar, been to many places and events, and could have saved money and time and stayed home. The church offers nothing for singles, but they offer everything for kids to dating to marriage. Singles are very marginalized, more than ever, at least where I live. I can not remember the last time they preached on singleness, yet they sure do preach about couples. Ya, kind of mad, frustrated, very tired over all, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I think mainly disappointed, my life has had the worst timing for meeting ladies. Always on rebound, or just broke up.... So, besides the obvious and trudge on feeling the effects of brain fog about everything. What have some of you done? Post Reply
View Profile History	My life was not to be like this...... Posted : 11 Feb, 2020 01:01 AM Hey Raffie, It is easy to get discouraged especially during the holidays. I myself am 33 and never really had a relationship. I agree many churches lack a singles ministry. I recently attended a church which was hostile towards singles. The pastor said from the pulpit something along the lines of singles are not living God's purpose. Also said we are selfish. I disagree with his statement and am now looking for a new church. The Bible says some are gifted with marriage others singleness. I have hear better Bible teachers say if you have a desire for marriage God will provide a mate. Just work on improving yourself and depend on the Lord's timing. Maybe get involved with a ministry. Either at your church or elsewhere. I have heard of people meeting while serving. Post Reply
Jayzeee View Profile History	My life was not to be like this...... Posted : 11 Feb, 2020 03:38 AM Raffie I can relate to what your saying this isn't the life I envisaged for myself either. In my early 30s I was living with the father of my children and engaged to be married. I imagined that as the children got older we'd have more time to ourselves as a couple. My children are older & pretty much doing their own thing, and I recently went on my first solo holiday. I went on a 4 day cruise to celebrate turning 50 and I had a wonderful time. Now while I would love to meet a great man & get married someday, right now I'm focusing on me being happy & enjoying the life I have with the people I have in it I'm currently planning my second solo holiday later on this year...:-) Post Reply
Jayzeee View Profile History	My life was not to be like this...... Posted : 11 Feb, 2020 03:58 AM Before anyone says anything I'm not advocating for Christians to live with their partners outside of marriage. Post Reply
VyDinh View Profile History	My life was not to be like this...... Posted : 14 Feb, 2020 10:41 PM Hi Raffie. My name is Vy from Vietnam. First i am sorry cause maybe my English is not very good. I am 39 year old. I had some one before, but i really didn't find feeling be happy as beside them. Sometimes i feel alone terribly. Yet i've never be disappointed because i trust in God. I just want to say with you, Raffie. God was and always beside you forever. Sadness just makes us worsen. Although here, it is like you, i'm looking for my partner. But anyway, i still thank God for this life. If you want anytime we also can be friends. Hope the best for you! God bless you. Vy Post Reply
VyDinh View Profile History	My life was not to be like this...... Posted : 14 Feb, 2020 10:41 PM Hi Raffie. My name is Vy from Vietnam. First i am sorry cause maybe my English is not very good. I am 39 year old. I had some one before, but i really didn't find feeling be happy as beside them. Sometimes i feel alone terribly. Yet i've never be disappointed because i trust in God. I just want to say with you, Raffie. God was and always beside you forever. Sadness just makes us worsen. Although here, it is like you, i'm looking for my partner. But anyway, i still thank God for this life. If you want anytime we also can be friends. Hope the best for you! God bless you. Vy Post Reply
VyDinh View Profile History	My life was not to be like this...... Posted : 14 Feb, 2020 10:41 PM Hi Raffie. My name is Vy from Vietnam. First i am sorry cause maybe my English is not very good. I am 39 year old. I had some one before, but i really didn't find feeling be happy as beside them. Sometimes i feel alone terribly. Yet i've never be disappointed because i trust in God. I just want to say with you, Raffie. God was and always beside you forever. Sadness just makes us worsen. Although here, it is like you, i'm looking for my partner. But anyway, i still thank God for this life. If you want anytime we also can be friends. Hope the best for you! God bless you. Vy Post Reply
Loree7 View Profile History	My life was not to be like this...... Posted : 27 Feb, 2020 07:00 AM Hello, Pity Party, I've been there often myself. It lies at the crossroads of holidays and family notices. The desire to close off the world and not experience hurt is natural, but not Godly. He Himself chose to minister in pain and loneliness. The road back to your extroverted self might be long, but might never come. Marriage might happen and might not. It can't happen if you cloister yourself inside. What are some of your interests? Start trying to experience one of those. Take up a hobby and invite friends. Yes, make some and pray to encounter some. Serve. Find with what God has equipped you. Are you a good teacher? Teach. Are you good with children? Get involved in children's ministries. God knows that we need men in this area. There are many children who are being raised without a Godly man at home. Are you good with your hands? The church and elderly need people willing to fix things which break and lawns manicured. Obey. The Bible tells us that we are to attend church and become involved in it. We are a body. Praise. Cultivate praise. Start with five good things a day and thank God for them. Ask. What is God trying to teach me about Himself in this situation? Seek. Seek God. I'm not talking about prayer, but get to know Him more and more. Be amazed by God. Start listing qualities of God that you saw throughout the day. Examples: a passing butterfly keeping speed with a motor boat, might make you think of how God created such a small thing so powerful. Tightening a pipe might turn you to seeing how He is ever present. Enjoy God's creation. Only His children truly can. Seeing the vast universe in the stars can remind us how small we are, yet loved by the Creator. Remember Philippians 4:8 the Christian's Filter. Does your thoughts hit that list, or not? Post Reply
View Profile History	My life was not to be like this...... Posted : 29 Feb, 2020 01:21 PM Sounds like the story of my life! Women would rather date a worthless bum or a bad boy that she can "fix" than a nice guy. Ward Cleaver couldn't get get a date in today's society if he were a millionaire! Seems to me a woman wouldn't date a nice guy if Jesus literally spoke from Heaven "HE'S THE ONE! MARRY HIM AND BE HAPPY!" Never could get a girl interested and the Christian girls have treated me the worst! One married a Catholic priest and the other cheated on me and married an IRS investigator. Yeah, I know how to pick 'em! I completely gave up on women in 1983. More trouble than they're worth at least the ones I was meeting. I'm in here only to be proven wrong, that are a few good women left though they all seem to think themselves better than God and twice as perfect. Have no more need for the hurt and rejection and anyone who's stumbled across my stuff can easily seen that, but if the women are so perfect why aren't they happily married with the statistical 2.45678 kids? And when the Deacon starts droning on about marriage I have an out of body experience! I'm physically present, but he's not talking to me. I'm thinking of everything else. Don't want to hear about his marriage tribunal or his wife of his kids or his grandkids. He's NOT talking to anything that's ever going to happen in my life! When he finally shuts up then I switch on my brain again and we can get on with the service. NOTHING for singles at our church. There may be a youth group 15-22, but nothing for the adult singles. My expectations are lower than humanly possible and I have no time for women unless they make the first move which never happens. I have better things to do than bang my head against a wall and get rejected. Post Reply
Raffie View Profile History	My life was not to be like this...... Posted : 29 Feb, 2020 04:16 PM I forgot to mention another one I get now and then. You do meet some gal and talking to her a few times you both agree you like each other, then next day she drops the F bomb on you. "I really like you, you are a good FRIEND." then stops talking to you all together. This happened to me last summer. Have not had a date since start of 2012, thought my long dry season was over. Silly me, what was I thinking....... LOL Post Reply
Jayzeee View Profile History	My life was not to be like this...... Posted : 2 Mar, 2020 03:56 PM The last man I dated presented himself as single when in fact he wasn't. I certainly wasn't looking to be part of a triangle and called it a day...:-) Post Reply

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