Christian Chat Forums | Ladies beware of this guy on this site - CDFF

Author	Thread: Ladies beware of this guy on this site
KellyMarie4 View Profile History	Ladies beware of this guy on this site Posted : 6 Jul, 2017 05:50 PM I met a guy on here in May of 2015, talked for several months actually probably close to a year. He is a compulsive liar and that puts it mildly. First he told me that he was in the military which I believe he probably was at some point. Told me he was trying to shot an officer who was abusive to women and accidently shot his best friend while deployed. So I'm thinking who would lie about something like this so terrible. I just really fell for him because we connected instantly. I noticed things like he just wanted to message, didn't like to call me. He always had an excuse. Told me his ex-wife cheated on him so they got divorced but was still married until just recently. Said hey paid a 1000 a week in child support and had his kids every weekend. That was all a lie. Turns out he had,a warrant while we were talking for back child support and domestic violence. He would send me text messages randomly that we're fake arguments between him and a co-worker where he would be threatening the other party and then send me a message and say oh that wasn't meant for you, I guess in effort to look like a tough guy. I went to go visit him in Minnesota and he sent me a text and it was supposed to be to his roommate saying to go to the store and get me something nice because I was on my way there to visit. But then sends me a message and says oh that was for my roommate I guess I ruined the surprise, needless to say there was no surprise waiting when I got there and I never saw or met a roommate. He was very sweet and nice while I was there for the weekend but immediately started acting crazy again as soon as I left. He called me and told me he quit his job and needed money. He asked me for 250, I sent him 150, then he finds a reason to start a fight with me over nothing, I guess in effort to not give me my money back..and I know that was so stupid I just can't even explain what I was thinking I was really just trying to see the best in him and hope that the feelings that I had about him being dishonest were just me being paranoid. Later like weeks later, I randomly get a few pictures of him sent via text just out of the blue in the middle of the night, I messaged him back the next day and he acted like nothing ever happened, then told me he got a new job working for a ranch owner and was telling me about all these fights he got into with actual Indians and how he was in a tree armed just waiting for them to come oon the property. Something is mentally wrong with this guy and he just lives in this fake world and tells it to whoever will listen. Things just got crazier and crazier and eventually I looked into things. I found out that he still has his original job and never actually quit, the story about shooting his friend was a lie... And like I said had a warrant for his arrest. Oh and he told me he had this big Dodge truck that was brand new, conveniently right before I went to visit him he said he wrecked it .Turns out he never had that truck and actually didn't even have a license when I got there and I allowed him to drive me around everywhere in my car not knowing any of this at the time. There's so much more, I could go on all night, it was just ridiculous. I could really go on and on but the reason I'm writing this is because I decided to get back on here and see about giving it another shot and he popped up and I saw that he has 44 Women who have him on their favorites and I just wish that I could tell all of them to be very careful don't believe a word he says and don't send him any money, he portrays himself as this really good guy and upstanding citizen, that is the furthest from the truth. I really think he is a psychopath or has some other mental disorder. He lives in Minnesota and is hispanic be careful. Feel free to message me if any of this sounds familiar and you would like further information to confirm whether or not you've been talking to this same guy. Post Reply
View Profile History	Ladies beware of this guy on this site Posted : 6 Jul, 2017 09:54 PM Oh good, she's not referring to me... I'm amazed at how many women on this site report finding males that are abusive, physically aggressive, or somewhat deranged. I intellectually understand how it happens, my heart just finds it remarkable that some of the apparent good guys can't get a break. Post Reply
View Profile History	Ladies beware of this guy on this site Posted : 7 Jul, 2017 12:51 AM Well if there is a pattern of hitting bad apples and missing good one's the link between everything is usually the one doing the hitting... You cannot (usually not all the time) be scammed without wanting to be scammed on some level or another or your standards are just plain wrong to begin with but usually a combination of both.... The one thing that always baffles me is a woman thinking she wil find a guy with both lots of money and free time on... A FREE WEBSITE. Here you will find poorer folk living in their mother's basements or scammers no one else (hyperbolically speaking). I could up the ranting levels but that would probably be rude... Point of it all, if it seems too good to be true it probably is. The ironic flipside being the poor guy with a good personality that is almost always honest and treats you well etc that no one ever actually believes because he seems to good to be true.... the thing with this kind of experience is it forces everyone involved to learn a certain level of decernment about people and the reality of human nature, you either swim or sink and blame everyone else for it when the first you should blame is yourself (male or female) and your silly little fantasies about the other sex. Post Reply
Miranda32 View Profile History	Ladies beware of this guy on this site Posted : 7 Jul, 2017 09:09 PM @gamma Lol, no not you. Yes I agree with you and its absolutely craziness. I've personally only been "scammed" by that one guy but I do here of it happening frequently. Sad when there's so many good guys out there. Post Reply
KellyMarie4 View Profile History	Ladies beware of this guy on this site Posted : 8 Jul, 2017 09:13 AM Yes same here this was my first and only instance of being I guess scammed and this situation with that guy was really crazy, in the beginning it was really hard to tell if it was just me being overly paranoid and I really do try to give people the benefit of the doubt that being said one thing I did learn was with my instincts. In response to Rambo, I totally get what you're saying and I don't disagree with you. I really don't know how often women are scammed multiple times, in that case I guess they would be the common denominator. Like I said above this was my first and only instance of any experience like this. I also can't speak on women who expect to find men with money and a lot of time on their hands. As a single mother with a career I personally know that is just not realistic . It's especially not realistic for me and the problem I run into is the opposite guys who expect me to have more time. Personally I'm just looking for a good person with a personality and sense of humor. I could care less about money as long as they currently support themselves and their children if they have them. I have supported myself and my children for many years and the last thing I'm looking for is someone to take that burden. You make a good point about this being a free site, even in that case I think it's fair to expect people to have morals and standards. It's a shame because there are plenty of honest good men out there. Post Reply
H3368 View Profile History	Ladies beware of this guy on this site Posted : 10 Jul, 2017 10:03 PM Internet dating sites are a playground for cluster-B personality disordered people--psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists, borderline and histrionic personality disorders. How do I know all this? I dated one until I began to voice my opinion and hold him to his word, which he could not keep. Thank God, I dodged a bullet. BTW, he is a believer (even the demons in hell believe) and has a master's in divinity and is on his church's worship team. They don't call them wolves in sheep's clothes because they stay out of churches! They also tend to go for women/girl's much younger in age because they are easier to manipulate, and come on strong with charm and flattery telling you everything you want to hear because they read you and mirror you. They will also appear to be two different people when texting and when together with you in person. THey will talk about their "crazy ex" and compare you to them, making you think that you are SO special. Don't fall for it. And they will text and call you all the time to the point where it gets sickening at times. They come on strong with flattery and scripture quoting and their profiles use the word "I" a lot. The only way you can really get to know someone is to know yourself first and have standards and boundaries, and second, by spending time with them and seeing if their words match their deeds for at least six months, if not longer. A psychopath's mask must--and will--slip by that time. It usually takes three to four months, and you will feel those red flags but think it's just nerves. Trust me, it's not nerves. Want a quick way to determine if someone has a personality disorder? Disagree with them about something. Then, watch them turn into a blathering, raging infant. I would also suggest reading the book "How to Spot a Dangerous Man" by Sylvia L. Brown and "The Human Magnet Syndrome" by Dr. Ross Rosenberg. He's got some good videos on youtube so please educate yourself and proceed with caution. Peace. Post Reply

View Profile History	Ladies beware of this guy on this site Posted : 11 Jul, 2017 12:35 AM Yes you do get the "look at how much holier than those other people I am" types that respond in verses instead of actual honest answers to questions... the secular narcacist does the same he just references with "they say" or "it's been proven". That kind of pattern of never allowing the inner mental processes to be seen by others should be a obvious red flag to anyone. Regarding mental illness, remember no one is completely immune including you (whoever the you happens to be). The major disorders spring from minor one's, the minor ones are so subversive you usually never see the symptoms and actually admit what has happened/ is happening untill it's too late. It's better to be humble rather than judgemental. On the other hand it's also good to be prepared to fail with someone that has such a malady because it's a bigger problem than either of you can manage without pain and discomfort. Basically hate the sickness not the sick but protect yourself and don't try to "fix" someone... only God can do that, at best you can be a much needed crutch because actual healing comes from inside while being supported outside. Lastly, nothing happens in a vacuum... ever. Both parties have something that brought any giving situation to a particular point, you can if you delve deep enough only ever fool someone that on some level or another wants to be fooled. None of us are immune to this and each must take responsibility for his/her part/s. Post Reply
GoodHope33 View Profile History	Ladies beware of this guy on this site Posted : 14 Jul, 2017 03:28 AM It is unfortunate that some men will descend so low to this. Anyone who refuses to take call and prefers only chat may come across as scam. Post Reply
View Profile History	Ladies beware of this guy on this site Posted : 16 Sep, 2017 11:02 PM Wow, thanks for mentioning this book - "How to Spot a Dangerous Man" by Sylvia L. Brown. I knew that there were bad people, but I had the assumption that there is someone for everyone. In other words, you can find your own bad type. Lol But I think, that's not really true. There is really NO ONE for some people who are abusive like that. And this is a great resource for women but also for men, too. I like psychology. Post Reply
mbrown1219 View Profile History	Ladies beware of this guy on this site Posted : 1 Oct, 2017 06:50 AM This is my first message on the forum. I am simply wondering why (if you did not) did you not report the guy to moderators so that they could investigate and ban him from the site if they agree he is a scammer? Post Reply
View Profile History	Ladies beware of this guy on this site Posted : 24 Oct, 2017 07:45 PM 'You cannot (usually not all the time) be scammed without wanting to be scammed on some level or another or your standards are just plain wrong to begin with but usually a combination of both' This is squarely victim blaming and shaming. Help others when they share their stories, don't start blaming them. There are scammers and super smart scammers lol. Post Reply