It has been a year since I registered here on CDFF. I created an account here after attending my best friend's wedding wherein I was the maid-of-honor in the hope of finding my Mr. Right. Honestly, I was pressured because most of my friends, officemates and cousins younger than me are married and they said that I'm the only left behind. ^sigh^
It has been a year of browsing and searching... and waiting... Sometimes I get tired, but I don't want to lose hope. Some of my friends who are not yet Christians always match me with anybody else who is single... Though I try to explain, they don't understand why I am still single. But I'm glad whenever I read people's profiles here on CDFF, both male and female, how they set standards and not settling for less. Who are also getting older like me waiting. Because they also refuse to be yoked with unbelievers.
Why am I still here? When I was younger, I used to believe that my Mr. Right will just appear in front of me. But then I learned from some preachers that we should not just wait, that it is okay to search and that it is our choice and not just pure destiny. When I joined here, I was not that hopeful, I thought that it would be hard for me to meet my future husband here, not until I met my third chatmate.
To make it short, we became chatmates. he said he finds me polite, sensitive and understanding. we exchange pictures. he said he would like to call me on Skype or on the phone but I did not agree immediately. He said he was willing to wait. It took 3 weeks before I agreed to talk to him on Skype. He was just a new Christian, so I was very careful. He was not ready yet to tell me what happened to his marriage but I felt that he was very hurt. He got married and divorce when he was not yet a Christian. I just waited until he is ready to tell me the whole story. Because for me, that would be the time that I could tell if there would be a chance for us.
What I learned from that experience was that it is possible for me to fall for someone online. He said we have a lot of similarities. I tried to deny but actually, I was seeing myself in him as well. Even the way he smiles. His smile on his profile pic was actually the same as my smile on my profile pic. We are both shy yet direct. And I also found out that even though I could fall for someone online, my desire to obey God is still strong. For the very first time, I was able to imagine myself walking in the aisle, with that guy waiting at the altar. I learned that a guy (with the qualities that I am looking for in a guy) like him exist. But knowing that having a relationship with a guy like him will not honor God, it is not worth fighting for. I surrendered him immediately to God.
He was just a good memory... The guy who made me smile and made my eyes sparkle. I hope to meet another one like him who is single and is free to get married in God's most precious time. -:)
