Author	Thread: Can you relate? LDR and different time zones. When do we know if it's time to hold on or let go?
Admin	Can you relate? LDR and different time zones. When do we know if it's time to hold on or let go? Posted : 13 Sep, 2015 08:40 AM I've been on a long distance relationship and there's a huge time difference. I was told that guys aren't really good with time management so there are just times when they don't reach out because they just don't know when to keep in touch. We do talk regularly but I feel like there's something missing. Is it normal that I feel neglected sometimes when in a LDR or am I just overreacting? He said he wasn't doing it on purpose. But maybe that's the problem, in my head, he's just not that into me or maybe he's just really not a very caring person. Sometimes, I even think to myself if I've become an insecure person, but then, I just keep going back to the fact he's just not really reaching out sometimes for various reasons. I know LDR is tough. I knew that from the start. However, as much as I care for the other person, I think, I should also care for myself. I've asked him if I have ever made him feel neglected, he said, never. But I have felt neglected by him. So, my question is, is it the LDR that's making me feel not loved enough by him, or is it really him that doesn't love me enough? I just want to know when it is worth staying in a LDR and when to let go and move on... Post Reply
View Profile History	Can you relate? LDR and different time zones. When do we know if it's time to hold on or let go? Posted : 13 Sep, 2015 10:29 AM Never begin a ldr without knowing for sure if you have the possibility to meet...in online situations... If there is no genuine connection you will know, in fact you seem to know already...it's very difficult to not be able to touch someone and be in there presence and have an ldr...unless of course your married and committed. Even then there's a tremendous strain on the relationship.....if either of you are not making plans to meet soon ...or haven't had a serious discussion....the relationship is a waste of time... Post Reply
View Profile History	Can you relate? LDR and different time zones. When do we know if it's time to hold on or let go? Posted : 14 Sep, 2015 02:16 AM Oh, we had plans of meeting. I feel neglected sometimes when we're apart and I'm hoping that it's just because of the time difference. I've been down that road before but of course I don't want to compare relationships because it won't be fair to the person involved. I'm just not sure if I'm ready for another heartache in case I actually give this another chance hoping that I just feel neglected because of the distance. How can I tell if things will be better when we meet? What if he's just not really a caring person? Post Reply
View Profile History	Can you relate? LDR and different time zones. When do we know if it's time to hold on or let go? Posted : 14 Sep, 2015 06:24 AM I'm sure however he is on the phone is how he is in person....if he's inconsiderate, distant, doesn't seem like he loves you on the phone....why would you think he's diffrent in person....?? Post Reply
Keonikane View Profile History	Can you relate? LDR and different time zones. When do we know if it's time to hold on or let go? Posted : 14 Sep, 2015 04:18 PM Firstly, my apologies for the length of this post... but this is how I relate to it. You are right in stating that a LDR is tough. Making it work does take commitment, effort, and sacrifices to stay in one, and it involves both parties. Concerning the matter of the time differences... do you have a set apart time when it is best to contact one another via videochat, phone calls or other types of �face to face� virtual time? Having such a planned day and time should rule out the �time management� issues you may be having. My experience was like this... When I got up in the morning, she was sleeping. When she got up, I was in the middle of my work day. When I got off of work, she was working. When she got off, I was sleeping (she works long hours). The only real time that we could have quality videochats is when we are both off from work on the same day (Saturday for me and Sunday for her, she being a day ahead). So basically videochatting was once a week... or more with a sacrifice on my side for I didn't mind at times to be up at 2 or 3am for a little videochat during the workday, but that was seldom, and only when she really needed to. But that didn't stop us from dropping a few lines during our waking moments via Viber thru our phones. You know, the �thinking of you�, or smiley face or flowers, pictures, or other short messages throughout the day, 7 days a week. Then again, our time difference is only 18 hours. That being said, not all guys have problems with time management, but my situation may be different, I must admit. Now, you mentioned that maybe it's him that doesn't love you or is caring enough? I don't know, maybe he can't put enough effort in it due to being busy, or then again, the time difference. I don't know his life or schedule as maybe you do... or do you? But surely dropping a few lines here and there isn't invasive and time consuming to one's day (or night) and may make a whole of a difference in your feeling of being neglected... don't you agree? Now, biglion44 does have a point too... to actually have an opportunity to meet. But not only meet but with a plan to spend exclusive quality and a quantity time with one another... which will take planning and may be expensive and time consuming, especially if you do live worlds apart. So a frequency of that happening may be few. My experience? My friend is also working abroad and is on a 2 year contract. So the only real time that we could reasonably meet would be when her contract ends and when she returns to her home country... but then she would return back abroad to continue her employment under a new contract if she chooses to. It wouldn't make sense for me to go to the country of her employment for she will be working 6 days a week with long hours, and only off on Sunday. I'd rather wait until she goes home on break so we'd have that exclusive quality and quantity time with one another. Will that happen? I don't know... I might not be able to get there at that specific time due to any unseen circumstances, but hoping to make it work. Arggg, once every 2 years? :( What is your employment situation? What is his? What is your time differences? Again, like you mentioned... it is tough... but it will take both of you to make it work. If you both can make it work, great! If not, my condolences... I hope that my input may help some in your decision. Praying for you... Blessings...:waving: Post Reply
View Profile History	Can you relate? LDR and different time zones. When do we know if it's time to hold on or let go? Posted : 12 Nov, 2015 02:07 PM LDR only works when both parties are fully involved otherwise you might be just stranding a better person from entering your life Post Reply
Lukia^ View Profile History	Can you relate? LDR and different time zones. When do we know if it's time to hold on or let go? Posted : 13 Nov, 2015 12:56 AM I think time doesn't matter coz in the first place you both know you are in different time zones.He should be knowing when you wake up,when at work......so he actually knows when to talk to you. You are right in feeling neglected. Post Reply