I've always wondered what are the advantages and disadvantages of courting someone local vs. from a distance. To me, engaging someone within miles of where I live seems ideal but personally I would probably want to "speed up" the getting to know process(smile)! And in doing so, may line up making premature decisions...assuming I know enough about the individual!
On the other hand having a LD encounter forces you, at least until you meet face-to-face, to get to know one another on a level that will definitely challenge your resolve and levels of trust, while possibly limiting rushed decisions or choices! I know we all have our preferences based on our specific wants and needs...my question is would you compromise your stand on courting local or LD if you met that "special someone" who may make changing your prerequisite worth your while? Would you be able to adjust, if needed?
**And yes I know finances has a big part to play in this, but I'd like to know how folks feel despite that reality(smile)!
�What are the advantages and disadvantages of courting someone local vs from a distance?�
I'm not in courtship or in a relationship for that matter, though in attempting to answer you i'd say:
* The first disadvantage of a long distance relationship is having money involved as you've already mentioned! Generosity and willingness to �spend/invest� through finance too, for the sake of making efforts to get to know the other is already at the forefront right at the beginning of things. I don't mean it in a sense of having money directly transferred to ones account (as warned not to in most dating sites) but rather through phone calls and other means of communicating away from the premises of the dating site. Then again it would have been the same even if one was courting someone from his/her home country. The difference is spending less on local than international!
* Differences in regard to cultures. This one is just as important as ensuring that both parties are equally yoked.
* Distance may compromise you opportunities of enjoying activities together that you both like.
Advantages are:
* Distances �forces� both to learn to be patient with one another (which wasn't my strong point at the beginning). You communicate and wait patiently for the other part to respond. Already a first fruit of love is manifesting... Patience!
* There are other options of bonding and being intimate through technology. I never would have assumed that Rick is so energetic and passionately active in riding and racing until I saw him in action through videos he sent. It was dangerously crazy seeing him doing that, was fun and exciting too. A total change in an instant of how I perceived him before seeing that video. :rolleyes:
Was sort of an assurance too of his image from photos he has sent. I think both enjoy and appreciate video massaging every once in a while. It's very intimate, never would have thought!
* Distances opens wide a door of tolerance, understanding and more communication cause often times one of either parts reaches out for clarity if a sent email wasn't really understood. What is relating after all other than communicating?
Yes... Oh yes Joy it is really worth relocating if that's what it takes to explore life with that special somebody provided both parties are on the same page in either pursuing a personal relationship or a very meaningful friendship! :nahnah:
You know my friend, I'm aware that this particular topic has been discussed and dissected time and time again here but the reality is this...many here, including ourselves, live hundreds of miles from each other! Trying to find a satisfactory medium on this perplexing issue is what I'm seeking(smile)!
And frankly speaking, I've been blessed to have had some of the most endearing encounters here with both brothers and sisters but...at a long distance!!!! Do folks, for example like myself, just line up eventually settling for a wonderfully large handful of "talk/email buddies", rather than keeping their hopes up expecting "more", or do we faithfully keep plowing along, LOL!!? I won't lie, after all this time at this and doing my best to stay as optimistic as possible, I'm wondering if having LD talk buddies is all there'll ever really be...as far as online dating is concerned! And should I finally move on from this leg of my journey!?
Yeah I'm at that place my friend, but in my heart I know The Lord has something extraordinary for all of His own who truly desire that one true love!! Just had to vent a little I'm guessing...
�Do folks just line up eventually settling for 'talk/email buddies' rather than keeping their hopes up�
Dear sis, in asmuch as relationships' often require us to compromise and most probably meet one another half way, in certain circumstances that may still not be enough apart from issues of distance. This is why two friends who may mean a great deal to each other may end up being just 'talk/email buddies' if both would rather settle for that instead of losing contact altogether. It boils down to how much they value what has been accomplished during their fellowship while they were members here.
Then again a question of befriending and having such connection with a divorced fellow. To a certain extend divorced people will always be off limits if we are to take heed of the foundation that has been laid by the Apostle Paul inspired by the Holly Spirit! Trust me I desire to be justified biblically for vowing to a divorced person but that would simply be a �three sum� if I really am to call it straight and be honest with myself! He will always be �ordained� being 'one' with his wife weather she's referred as an axe wife or anything else, that vow will only be put to an end by the death of either of the two! (Atleast that's how I understand the Apostle Paul)
So what do we do now cause we had to come to an agreement in regard to our unism? Do we put an end to all this? Do we forget we ever met? This is where and when people settle and make most of what they currently have, provided both are willing to make peace and carry on together as friends/talk/email buddies. Not necessarily that people only want that in dating sites, some yes they do. Others wanted more if only...
I have read stories of non-Christians who met online. They decided to move in together and then eventually got married. This same progression would not work for Christians, because two Christians who are not married should not live together as long as they aren't married. But sometimes it is very difficult for a person to leave everything behind and pay for two places and support a lifestyle in a new town while they are getting engaged or whatever. Moving in together makes things soo much easier, but it's not the right thing to do. Still, I think, long distance relationships can work. But they require resources and planning and time/patience and trust.
Thank you my dear brother and sister in The Lord for your encouraging words! They give hope to a weary soul(smile)! We all need encouragement from one another as we journey in this earth for Christ! Stay always well kept in Him!
The fact remains that the majority dont have resources!
We are struggling to keep the lights on and help those who have less than we do.. How many of you in the USA know the stats on the measures of wealth? Most of us are below middle class now. The pendulum has tilted to the far left.
Its not going to get any better either folks.
I am not convinced that God wants us spending too much time fulfilling our wanton desires to have a mate.
I am not stating that you all are!! I just feel that this subject doesnt need defining. Forgive me if I sound harsh. I dont intend to.
I see things as pretty black and white.
I feel we are in the last hour. Bible prophecy along with current events points to the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ very very soon!
We must be very careful that we dont make looking for a spouse our idle.
Satan is roaming around to devour whom he can. We are in a battle!
God wants us to >make fishers of men > our sole desire. If we find that mate whilst doing so; what a blessing to our soul!
Scripture states that many will fall away in the end times.
The sheep had better wake up!!
In the soon coming day of financial collapse we will all wish we had someone to cling to but I really dont see that happening in the form of a mate per se.
Id settle for just a companion of any sex to walk it out with! It takes time to develop a relationship and it takes lots of money to develop a relationship long distance! Money that I know we dont have! If you had money youd most likely be on a paying dating site right?
Time is just about out. How many are running to and fro on these dating sites? MILLIONS!! Yes, miliions!! It is a sad sad thing at how many hopeful people are online looking for a true love.
Online dating sites are specifically designed to keep people in bondage. It is called false hope based on very little data of success!
So far it has worked beautifully for our enemy>SATAN.
If anything the internet dating has propagated is more> fear,;less trust, and much division! IMHO
Water, food,shelter and fellowship with Christ followers will be needed to survive very soon! Are you preparing?
.Most importantly ,the leading of the Holy Spirit. Is the word in you? We need the word in us by reading Gods word daily.
Point taken my sister...resources are most definitively an important key in "dating", whether local or long distance!
As I stated in my OP, finances is the obvious in this particular topic but be as it may, my intended focus was primarily and specifically on whether an individual would compromise on their premise if they met someone who could or might challenge it!! For example if one is staunch, for whatever personal reasons they may have on not entertaining LD relationships, but by God's grace they meet someone who truly ticks off all the boxes of the criteria they desire in a mate, but aren't local...would there be a compromise or sacrifice?!!
Of course taking in all the considerations necessary, including financial! Basically it was just a "what if", scenario!! Nothing more, nothing less!!
I have to add one more thing to this...thru and by the power of The Holy Spirit, I have been privileged to have had revelation knowledge of His Word planted deeply in my spirit, so I'm fairly aware of end time realities and there NOW present impact in and upon the world!
All the more my resolve to be made ready while I await whatever The Lord has in store for my life until His return...loving, sharing, praying, , MARRYING if it's His desire(smile)!!! But without a doubt expecting that as long as I seek and obey His will, His way...He will grant me the desires of my heart and one of them is to be coupled with my God given life partner!!
And I hope I too am not sounding harsh...just speaking my heart!! Be blessed.
�I am not convinced that God wants us spending too much time fulfilling our wanton desires to have a mate. I am not stating that you all are! Id settle for just a companion of any sex to walk it out with! It takes time to develop a relationship and it takes lots of money to develop a relationship long distance! Money that I know we dont have! If you had money youd most likely be on a paying dating site right?�
Thank you dear sis for reminding us about our Lord's return which is very soon indeed! I believe that there's life and activities while waiting as long as we do all inline with God's expectations of us as his chosen ones. Let's not belittle or make it sound 'bad' on those who are pursuing their personal interest in searching for a mate. Marriage was created by and for the glory of the Lord too, those investing time on this are not doing anything wrong weather it's done online or inperson.
Being willing to 'settle' for a companion of any sex to get through life's struggles with finance as you mentioned, it's your rightful personal choice same goes with those who are seeking for lifetime partners. And again not everyone searching for a mate is driven by the struggles of life with food, housing, keeping lights on etc... Some people still have right godly reasons of uniting as 'one'. I hear your point though most people are struggling, that one is a reality of life!
Being on a paying dating site if we had money... Don't generalise everyone here just cause it's a free dating site. Having money doesn't necessarily mean I wouldn't have taken advantage of a free site for a fellowship with other believers of my kind. One may be loaded and still be humbled enough to prioritise and spend money when needed. Altinating for a 'free site' doesn't make every one broke.
One more thing: Dating sites are just as consuming if not less than searching inperson. Since dating sites give false hope, is reality search any less hopeful? Weren't fellows misled in reality, weren't fellows betrayed, wasn't there dishonesty involved without the other innocent part knowing? How different really is online versus reality, is there a difference at all?
�Id settle for just a companion of any sex to walk it out with!�
Relationships' weather be on a friendly or personal level, still require money, effort, time etc. Choosing to settle for whatever that you may, doesn't ease anything. Relating will always require so much from us.
Much appreciation once more for reminding us of our Lord's return. I personally needed that!
being one of the people who met my spouse on here long distance l can only say it can work. the trick is are you willing to have the person God wants for you or just the person you pick out. lf its God's will can you really argue with it? why is it even an issue if its God's will. if you pick someone and go with that choice.. well l think all bets are off anyway...hmm that sounds harsh too. what l am trying to say is God can do all things. for me l just knew from tons of things that happened and from prayer and our relationship and goals. at that point l didnt want anyone else even if l could never meet him in person. l guess it doesnt happen like that for everyone or maybe they dont wait and let it. l know l took things into my own hands for far too long and l know how that turned out. even though we were both broke we managed to meet after a good length of time. over a year had passed. if our father wants you together he will make a way so dont fret over it. he was uk and l was usa. l knew the culture difference wasnt that great. cam alot. dont be dumb about it. but yes it can work wonderfully..
, MARRYING if it's His desire(smile)!!! But without a doubt expecting that as long as I seek and obey His will, His way...He will grant me the desires of my heart and one of them is to be coupled with my God given life partner!!