People wonder why I'm hesitant about trying to find a love life. Well...here's why.
I've never been on a date. Heck, I've never so much as kissed a girl. Having been homeschooled since eighth grade means I never went to any kind of formal or dance.
But I have been in love at least three and a half times. All three didn't end well...
The first time was an old friend of mine who I grew to love. Yet, when I confessed...she didn't feel the same way. I have long since forgiven her and myself for that and we agreed that we're better off as friends only.
Second time was a short-lived infatuation. She seemed nice and was beautiful. But when I was walking out of the store she worked at, I saw her walk away with another guy and knew I was beaten. I never saw her again after that.
Third time was similar to the above, but this time, I KNEW she was nice. In fact, her mom and my dad were close friends in their younger years, so uniting the two families would have been nice...then I saw her with another guy and actually went into a funk.
The half-time was when someone actually admitted she liked me. I, honestly, didn't know what to think or do. All this time, I wanted someone to do that and even I admit that I might have had some feeling for her, yet when it came to me, I froze because I hadn't known this person for very long and it was the first time that had happened to me. In the end, I decided not to go with her and, when I look back, I think I made the right choice.
So, there you have it. That's why I'm hesitant or slow to attempt to start a conversation with someone I'm interested in.
One of my favorite Bible teachers, J Vernon McGee, gives a great talk about young love that is very encouraging. He reminds young people that though 99 pass you by, God has that one person set aside for you who will get to know you & think you're awesome.
I suggest you pray for your future wife often & ask God to give you peace as you trust Him to bring the two of you together in His time & in His way.
In the meantime, occupy! Even if only to chat online with women in an attempt to understand them better.
It's just...sometimes, I don't know what to think anymore. If I'm direct, will I just come off as creepy and scare her off? If I' take it slowly, will I just get beaten to the punch by some other guy?
I'm really on a divided mindset. Part of me is on the verge of just throwing up my hands and giving up, yet another is what got me on this site and tells me to not lose hope.
First off bro. I salute your courage to be able to share your mind and put it out here. Very few guys have the courage to do that.
I'd like to say that I agree with the previous comments. You are a unique personality created for a unique purpose and to be loved by a unique woman.
Our society has been doing so much to wrongly educate us as to how things should and should not be between a man and a woman.
I'd like to share the following thoughts:
1st - Keep your sanity and self confidence and stay sociable knowing that you're unique. Someone one day will accept you just the way you are. Don't allow the few disappointments you've experienced to keep you from making yourself sociable because believe it or not, you need to be. You need to know what and what not to say to a lady. If your self confidence is not intact, you'll keep repeating your mistakes and how do you know that you're sane and self confident with a woman or people generally if you don't stay sociable.
2nd - You can't afford to be someone God has not created you to be. Like I said earlier, you are unique in your own way. Likewise the woman who will accept you for who you are will want to know you for who you and not an imitation of someone else. So always be yourself no matter how odd the feeling may be.
3rd - Don't take it personal when you get turned down or rebuffed in an attempt to talk to a lady. You never know, it might even be a test of your self confidence or a test of your genuine interest.
4th - Be sure to continuously discover who God has created you to be and always strive to become better.
I have very intriguing personal experiences that should have broken a man and turn him into what God hasn't created him to be but I'm still standing firm and confident that God will give me what's mine in His own time.
You are not the only one. I am in a similar situation as you are: very shy, not much social, don't know how to dance or talk to girls, and I am not sure how to start a relationship.
But our God is a good God and He is faithful and loves us. There is nothing to worry about. He will give us spouses that are suitable for us. :)
