I won't use the names of the people because I have forgiving them both.
We will guy the guy:Bob
The girl:Martha
Me: Im just me
Bob, martha and I were all really really really best friends.
But bob and martha had a really close relationship always leaving me in the dark.
Martha is a morman.
Bob and I are both baptist.
All three of us God followers.
I was really scared one night and had to escape from someone I was scared of. So Bob Martha and I all had a "best friend sleep over" at Bob's apartment. Yes in the same bed but just sleeping going on.
I was stupid. I had told martha earlier that day that I loved bob. I thought he was the guy for me. Martha never dated bob but they were "close" in ways I figured and guessed, but tried my best to ignore. Martha said she was finished with him. Going back to her old boyfriend. She told me it was fine she supported me in everyway. She would stand behind me on this.
So I told Bob my feelings. Martha the whole time was telling him to not date me. So on so on so on.
Well the night of the sleep over. I wake up with the bed rocking. I know immediately what is going on. I can't move im in so much shock. I want to just throw up and cry. As soon as BOb left the room go get his shower. I got out of my pjs grapped my purse and walked out. Martha asked me where I was going. I didn't say a thing. I walked the front of the apartment complex and called my roommate to come get me.
Thank God for my wonderful roommate. I told her what happened and she was upset too.
She kept saying how could your best friends be soooo low.
Bob I still talk to. He really didn't know that I loved him at the time. He doesn't know what I saw either. And I still love him and I hate that. I hate that I love a guy that would do something so vile. I want to make him a better person that's why Im sticking around. One of my many missions from God I believe.
Martha does know what I saw. She left us both. Im glad too.She is now pregnate at a very very young age. Having to drop out of school and get married. I don't feel sorry for her.
Is that a bad thing? Am I a bad person for trusting someone so much than saying something like Im not sorry for her?
She did this to herself. She knew the results of her actions.
Still to this day. Im surprised a best friend could do that to me.
I have forgivin her for what she did.
Forgivin Bob too.
I wish her all the best luck in her life she made for herself.
I don't want someone in my life like her ever again. I can't fix her.
But if something DOES happen, you're completely setting yourself up for failure.
My former roommate was a youth pastor who used to have his fiancee over to our apartment and would invite her upstairs to be in his bedroom constantly.
Though I never heard anything as far as "noise", I'm fairly certain that the two of them had sex before they were married. They did this for months at a time.
I never pointed out the "avoiding the appearance of evil" thing to him, but there were many times when I wanted to.
Along those lines:
My super-christian ex girlfriend (whose spirituality I thought I could never hope to live up to) got herself knocked up by the next guy she dated after me (granted they dated for a year---but we had dated for two and a half) then married the guy because of it.
So, I'm not judging you or saying you're a bad person. That's just a really really dumb thing to do. Especially with a girl who was a mormon (who are infamous for polygamy).
If they had the gall to have sex while they were in the bed next to you, I wouldn't be surprised if they were trying to get you to join them in a three-way.
So, moral of the story: don't set yourself up for failure. Run from it.
This guy was and IS not the right guy for you.
Learn from your mistakes, absolutely, but just know that it's hard for guys like me to have sympathy for someone who sets themselves up for failure like that.
im not judging you..i want you to know that up front...ive made a few mistakes myself but...for your own sake maybe you should take another look at the forgivness end of it.i found it interesting that you still feel like its your mission to "change" Bob but not the female freind you feel betrayed you.......also take it from someone who knows...theres on such thing as evangelical dating......be kind to yourself and find some new freinds...and forgive the old ones.
I actually gave martha a chance. I wrote her this long message ( she refussed to talk to me ) Than called her many a times when I thought she was in danger( because she had traveled home and I was scared she got in a wreck or something )
But my life is better. I'm not crying as much. And I know her's is better too. All my friends agree (friends that were hers as well ) That it is better without her around.
I have forgivin her but she won't forgive me.
If she had she would come and talk to me.
But it's to late now. Summer time she won't be coming back to school.
