Thankfully, this experience was very short and it ended well for both people involved; but it reminded me to pay very close attention to the signals God is giving me about people.
I only dated once -- last year, at the age of seventeen -- and it lasted for two months. I was with a young man who said he was a Christian, and he seemed all right at first...yet I kept having a nagging sensation in my spirit that I should not be with him.
He was polite, charming, and respectful to my feelings. However, he began to become rather demanding; he wanted me to spend all of my free time with him, to the point of wanting me to disobey my parents' rules (which I refused to do; I respect my parents) and refrain from staying after school (once again, a no-no; he was not happy with my refusal).
It progressed to where he began ignoring my words and personal feelings, telling me what I did and did not want (he went so far as to inform me [in our first week together] what our wedding would be like, who would attend, and that we would live in a cabin on a mountainside where he would leave me stuck alone with five kids every day). He began to become manipulative; but my mind tried to convince my spirit that such a thing was not happening.
He invited me to his church, which was spiritually dead -- there was no joy, no happiness, and as soon as it was over people began gossiping and not behaving very well. That was a very large warning sign. His family began criticizing my church, and behaved as if he and I were going to be married soon.
He invited me to his house; I had a very strong feeling that I should not go, but I did anyhow. When I was there, his cousin was also present and began attempting to persuade me to try some drugs he had. He then tried to convince me and my boyfriend to have sex (I am a virgin, and I quite clearly informed him it was staying that way), and behaved as if I was crazy when I refused. When the visit was over, I went home feeling extremely uncomfortable.
Near the end of the last month together, my boyfriend began hinting that I did not have to lose my virginity, but we could do "other things." A great big warning light flashed in my heart, and I knew I could not ignore it any longer. We broke up, but respectfully; no feelings were hurt, no unkind words said. I do not want to imagine what other things might have happened if the relationship hadn't ended.
I had received warnings multiple times from God, and only with the last one did I pay attention; and I am glad I did. I hope this story will help other people -- teens and not -- to pay attention to what God is trying to tell them; He does not send out warnings for fun and giggles, but for a reason.
Dear Industrious, I'm so glad you got out when you did. I wasted 15 yrs. of my youth, and my life with my childrens father. Who was a control freak, who also was physically violent with me the yr. after we were married:) We finally got out with our lives and the clothes on our backs.
