These past few weeks have been pretty disappointing in terms of getting even initial responses to my messages. Having tried meeting other people online on and off for about two years now I have come to get used to the fact that the message response rate is just not that great.
Every now and then I run across an amazing profile and hope for a response. The past two weeks, I found three such profiles, which is really rare. Usually I only run across a truly great profile every 3-4 months or so. Needless to say all three didn't yield any positive results!
The first profile was surprisingly in the actual city where I reside, which pretty much never happens! I sent a message right away taking the time of course to make it unique and highlight some of the things I liked about her profile and briefly mentioned some of the things about me we apparently had in common. Usually if I don't get a reply within a week, I assume I will not be getting a response.
This time, it was just over a week that I got a response back from this person and I was pretty excited. I sent a reply back when I had the chance and it seemed I had made a good first impression. A few days later I check back in and found that her profile had been deleted without warning. I was pretty bummed about it to say the least! It is one thing to just never get a response, it is another to get a response and have things seemingly off to a good start only to have it end without warning!
The second profile I came across was more typical--regionally close to my location (within 300 miles), but of course the greater the distance, the less likely the response. Typically I only message those profiles within my region if the profile mentions relocation as a possibility and they are willing to meet people outside of their locality. The profile demonstrated a strong commitment to Christ, a great unique personality, and a lot of shared interests. But sadly not even a single reply!
The third profile was pretty much the final nail in the coffin over the past few weeks. This profile was not on this dating site, but on another non-Christian dating site. The girl seemed too good to be true when she talked about her Christian faith and walk with the Lord was her first and foremost priority. We had a lot of shared interests--she even was a fan of zombie movies! I won't go into too much detail, but the profile reflected pretty much everything I was looking for in a girl and more (a doubly awesome profile!) Sadly she lives all the way on the other side of the country (her in California and me in Florida!) I didn't expect a reply whatsoever because of the vast distance, but it still bums me out lol.
It seems more often than not that I find great Christian girls who are compatible with me over vast distances from where I am located. It would be nice if long distance weren�t such a deterring factor in finding someone. Where are our hover cars or transporters that we were promised!? lol It seems the greater the profile, the further the distance! Maybe this is a psychological thing? We want what we can't have. We idealize the person knowing that the odds are nil to none of anything real ever coming from it apart from a genuine miracle of God? lol
Like I mentioned before, I realize the response rates are horrible and that girls especially have to sift through a lot of junk to find the good messages. But it seems to always take a little more out of me than usual when I don't get a response from a truly great profile. Not knowing why I didn't get a response seems to be the most frustrating part about it. Was it something I said? Was it something on my profile? Did I have a grammar typo? Did my message get lost in the hoard of bad messages? Or was the distance simply too great a deterrence? Or even something else entirely? If I know the reason I can more readily accept it and move on. If it was something that I can change or improve upon I can work to improve myself and strive to be a better man that God would have me to be! I am who I am, I am confident in who I am as a child of God. I don't try to make myself something I am not!
So yeah, just thought I would share my most recent experiences and thoughts on the subject! Whatever happens and even if I never find a partner to share my life with, I know that God is good and I will praise Him. I will be thankful for everything that he has given me because it is truly already so much more than I deserve! Trying to find someone and facing disappointment after disappointment can be discouraging. It can lead you to be bitter about your circumstances. Resist that temptation and focus on being the man/woman God would have you to be! Trust that everything will work out in according to His Will and Providence! Hang in there, you are not alone!
"The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident." - Psalm 27: 1,3
Online dating is tough! Sometimes I'll have a lot of views, or some messages, sometimes none. You're right, the hard part is waiting on the Lord. After my divorce my parents said your life isn't over, the Lord will send you someone... >> i said I'm 43! How much time would I get to spend with someone! LOL. God knows exactly what will happen in our lives. And whatever He chooses to do will be for our own good. Waiting is the hard part. God bless ya buddy, stay in the scripture!
Yeah exactly, online dating can be tough! We all struggle with it to one degree or the other. I think it helps talking about it every now and then to let everyone know that they are not in this alone and that we are all pretty much in the same boat.
It is important to remind people to be better and not bitter in their circumstances--to be content with all the things God has given to us that we don't deserve--especially our salvation! Keep our eyes on Jesus and everything will be all right even if life doesn't fit our preconceived notions of what it should be!
Depending on your style of communication e.g. body language, facial expressions and what not, it can be extremely difficult. Sometimes someone cannot understand who you are or what you're fully like by simply talking on the phone and sending messages through this site :toomuch:
Let's face it IaoKim,
It is difficult to be a male peacock, a rooster or bull moose through the mercy of these little white boxes we're forced to write through :(
It can make a man want to go out and.. :Mug: :toomuch: :buddies:
I agree online dating is tough.I just got a message saying "Not Interested" just because I read their profile and to top it all off wasn't even interested at all!!!!!:ROFL:
