Author	Thread: Horror Story about... Chemistry ????!!!
Scientist4Christ View Profile History	Horror Story about... Chemistry ????!!! Posted : 30 Mar, 2012 11:56 AM What many men don't realize is that women's love can be much greater than that of men...because they love with their minds and hearts and not just their hearts....So, imagine a woman who is truly sincere and mature and had no experience before... That's me...or was me a couple of months ago. See, I believed in love between a man and a woman and my favorite kind of movies were Romance (chicks movies as you call them in the US). I used to love all the love songs.... Used to. I met this guy online...American. He was everything I ever wanted in a man and more...perfect age, perfect body (and taller ...which is hard to find with my height), and he was supposedly a 'Christian' or at least he said he was... I didn't want any of it and I didn't ask for anything but he kept saying how he wanted us to be committed to each other and stuff like that... We chatted like everyday and despite my better judgement I totally trusted him... Even more, with time, my feelings for him sort of grew for him but I never said anything.... Until out of the blue one day he said he loved me. Again, I refused, against my better judgement, to consult God in any of this and because I thought this guy was just great and being with him was like a fairy tale for me, I gave up and I loved him back and as we met everyday on Skype, my love grew for him so much... He was my first and I gave him all the love I ever had and kept for the man who was to be my husband... Because I wanted him to be that man. I gave him all that was in my heart, against my better judgement.... And unlike you, I dared not consult God... Or when I did, I refused or feared the answer.... And at the time, I think God tried to show me by different means how wrong and mistaken I was about this guy but I ignored the signs and God's voice. After 3 months, we finally met... And against my own principles, my faith, my BEST judgement, I let him kiss me and touch me and .... But I couldn't have sex with him! Still, now that I think of what I had allowed him to do with me (even if we were in our clothes), it was like I had given him what I had kept for my husband...it was like I did have sex with him ! Anyway, the next day when we meet again, I feel he is cold and neglectful.... Totally the opposite of line previous day's passion.... And when I press him to tell me what's wrong, he says 'there's no chemistry!' ... He crushed me. See, my definition of love does not include any chemical reaction, no reagents, no sparks....nothing like that. My definition of love included commitment, sacrifice, and God's blessing (though this should have been first and not last). I was crushed....into peaches and felt like he tore me apart from inside out. What's worse was that even after he said that and after I cried with him for until we got back to the hotel where I stayed, he tried to take from me the same thing he tried to take the day before... And stupidly enough, or out my own weakness and absentminded status I still almost let him do it all over again... We touched, kissed.... But when I stopped and I realized we were really over (I still didn't actually have sex with him but it still feels like I did), I felt so sick and dirty. When I left and went to my friends prayer meeting, I was standing in prayer with them trying to make sense of what i did and why I did it... I felt sinful, filthy, and unworthy of love. It took me a while to recover and I spent days crying so much so that my cheeks burned. I felt so horrible... Not because I lost this guy but because I felt I gave him everything and I had nothing else to give .... Love between a man and a woman, I don't believe in it anymore and I don't even watch romance movies anymore... I feel disgusted of myself every time I get flashbacks of what happened and even more when I see a couple kissing. I feel that all the purity and sacredness of my body that I kept fora husband is gone and it is all my fault....because of my few lustful moments ! I wish I could describe to you how awful I feel those days...how filthy and unworthy. But I spend longer time in prayer and talking to God. Bottom line... Chemistry??? I don't even believe in it! Now, I am much wiser and logical when it comes to relationships than I was a month ago. Better, I am growing in my relationship with God which may not have happened had I still been dating this guy! So, God, Thanks!:prayingm: Post Reply
View Profile History	Horror Story about... Chemistry ????!!! Posted : 17 Apr, 2012 03:51 AM Hey... Your story actually hit me pretty hard. I'm 22, and I have a 3 year old son. I got pregnant at 17 while still at school and felt completely awful about it. I hid it from everyone for months on end, until I had no choice but to tell people. It took me years to realise that God can bring good from mistakes. I came to realise that the way I had acted, that caused my pregnancy, was wrong and completely not what God wants for me - but my son is a blessing. If I hadn't got pregnant, I might have stayed in the very destructive relationship I was in for a long time, and God gave me an out that would bless me in the future. Considering the fact that I have only one ovary, and so my chance of getting pregnant should be lower than normal anyway, getting pregnant was a miracle, or so I see. I have the chance of losing my other, and so having children young may be the only way for me to have them at all, and God gave me that blessing out of a sin. Even after I realised that, it still took me a while to realise God has forgiven. I read a book called 'For Such A Time As This' by Lisa Ryan. If you can get hold of it, give it a read. In the second chapter, titled 'A Radically Pure Revolution', she says how that even if you have lost your viginity, you can ask God to forgive you, and he will restore your soul (not your body, but your soul) to it's previous state. It sounds to me like you feel impure, sickened at yourself, and unworthy, and you didn't even fully give yourself to a man like I have. You're seperating yourself from the idea of love and romance, in an attempt to make yourself more pure in the eyes of God. There's one thing you're forgetting... it is not by our own actions but by the blood of Christ that we are forgiven and restored. No matter how far you stay away from men, you're not going to redeem yourself, and heal how you currently feel. You need to ask God for his forgiveness, and he will heal this hurt. I was at a conference last week and heard someone say 'What has been done to you, God says 'no! This is wrong! I am unhappy that this has happened to you! come to me and I will wash you clean and make you whole, dear child'. God does NOT plan for you to lose the idea of love, purity, marriage and romance. He obviously made you with a dearest wish for a husband, and probably children, if you loved Love so much. Don't give up on the idea because one man took advantage of you. Jesus was the ultimate man, who treats everyone with love and respect, and he'll heal you so you can take another, more human man, as your husband, and he'll love you like you should be loved. I hope you find someone after God has sorted this ordeal out : ) Much love, your sister in Christ. Post Reply
View Profile History	Horror Story about... Chemistry ????!!! Posted : 17 Apr, 2012 08:50 PM Hearing about your heartache made me so sad for you. I haven't had the same experience, but I understand guilt and confusion and the crushing weight it brings... Just a reminder, Jesus always forgives and is right there with you, loving you, healing you. We're here praying for you. Check out the song on youtube - White as snow by Leslie Ludy. I LOVE that song. Many blessings! Kay Post Reply
View Profile History	Horror Story about... Chemistry ????!!! Posted : 26 May, 2012 08:12 PM I'm sorry to hear that you went through that. I believe 'chemistry' or using that word to describe compatibility and reciprocated love and passion between two lovers is real, but as Christians, it's important to discern what sort of intentions and fruits the other party produces. Men are truly capable of having emotional and spiritual attachment to women (and yes, along with physical attachment too). I've seen the same sort of thing happen to guys too. The thing is, we need to consult God first and know exactly where our potential mates stand with God before acting out on attraction. Both parties need to be seeking God first and foremost, above all things and be complete in him before seeking out a relationship with another that can hopefully lead to marriage. From what I've seen, it produces beautiful relationships that glorify our God and doesn't just work in theory. Ultimately, that's what He wants for us anyway, and that is what I strive for. I hope and pray that you find someone who is just as pure as you, someone who can be worthy of possessing the precious gem that you are, and vice-versa. I'm glad to hear that you're seeking out God more and more, and I hope your walk with Him becomes much more intense and rewarding. May you reap many more blessings from our glorious Creator! Post Reply
kindmaninky View Profile History	Horror Story about... Chemistry ????!!! Posted : 27 Jul, 2012 10:37 AM What came to my mind was that we all need a savior.It is proff that we cant do it our way but His way.The love that you have in your heart is Wonderful and I agree that A womens love can over come many things in life and can really heal a man.But i cant keep thinking that we need to identify with Christ in His resurrection and that God dosnt condemn you or require you to pay for your"sin" but the payment has been made in Christs sacrifice and as we identify with His ressurection and His forgiveness we are healed and cleansed in Him and I think that is our delimna today is not walking by the flesh or identifing with our flesh but walking by the spirit, which is to walk by His word,and identifying with His perfection in His ressurection for it is only in Him and His words that we are more then conqueros through Him who loved Us.I pray that this helps,God Bless You,You Are Gods Best despite all of our human failures for we are not after our own perfection but after His. Post Reply