What really makes me wonder about Internet dating is when a man on here who seems to be super nice and a real good Christian dumps a woman after maybe talking to her for a week and doesn't even give her a reason why. That happened to me one time, and the others after about maybe two or three weeks just quit talking to me. It's really hard to talk to someone who lives clear across the United States, and when I try to send someone a message who lives in Southern California or closer, he won't respond for some reason. I would like to fall in love with a good, moral Christian man who likes to laugh, dance, sing, be happy, and just enjoy life; but, it's hard when I can't find anyone who is truly interested. They seem really interested in the very beginning, but then they run scared. Why is that? A lot of bad things have happened to me in my relationships (and I haven't had that many, believe me!), but I want to leave that garbage behind me. Why carry baggage with me since I can't do anything about the past? I love being around positive people. That makes me very happy. I give that to the Lord and let Him deal with it. Who knows, maybe one of these days the Lord will lead me to the right man. If not, it's just you and me, God. So be it. Amen! God Bless each and every one of you on here.
Sorry to hear about your experiences with one line dating. I tried it years ago and meet a lot of strange guys. So you might not be mission out on much. But the one thing that I think makes on line dating harder then real life is that many men feel like a kid in a candy store. There are just so many woman to choose from. Or so do they think. But from the sounds of it a lot are still searching. So I think they would be smarter to put more time into growing an actual relationship with one lady, then chase after all the ones they think they can get.
Also an other thing might be if you might be moving too fast for them. Men get scared off easy. While women have plans and like to have a set path, men like to take it slow. Well in the progression of the relationship. Especially if they have had bad experiences or have been hurt in the past.
My advice to you or any one trying out the one line dating scene would be pick some one close by. Talk for a bit but don't say you are dating till you meet. Then meet them in a public place as soon as you can. Trust me you don't want to build up some image of how they will be over a long period of time. Chances are very high that they will be much different then the persona they put forth on line.
Any way best of wishes for you and your adventure. May you meet some one nice and right for you soon.
...I noticed what you said about someone talking for a week or so and then "breaking things off" so to speak. Well, I'm not gonna lie...yes, I've done that to someone on here before. No, I didn't get a thrill out of it...and I hope and pray I never get a thrill out of doing something like that! But anyway, why did I do it??? Several reasons actually.....
(1) The young lady I was talking to didn't give me the impression that I was important enough to her...and that presented a major problem for me because I've been taken advantage of in the past.
(2) The young lady lived out of state.
(3) The young lady had "went all the way" with someone before, and I've never done that with anyone yet. So...that presented a risk of getting an STD, and I didn't feel like that would be fair to me...especially since I've kept myself only for whoever I marry someday.
As I'm sure you can see, there were several factors involved. I didn't mention all of the factors either. There was at least one other factor...and it involved deception. But anyway, before breaking off the relationship, I did have the decency to let the person know that something concerned me...but I didn't want to tell her that the 3rd thing I mentioned on the above list was a major factor. Truth is, I wouldn't feel right asking someone to go somewhere to be examined to make sure they didn't have an STD...especially when there's no way of knowing whether things would even work out. Honestly, the second thing on the list really isn't that much of a factor to me...at least not anymore, partly because I've gotten so disgusted with the sinful way my mom has been living. As a matter of fact, I'm now considering marrying someone out of state partly to have a reason to get away from here! Honestly, I could care less if she were even a part of my life from now on...unless she truly repents. Yes, I know that probably sounds like a horrible thing to say about my mom, but you wouldn't understand unless you were one of the ones impacted by the garbage that has gone on for the past several years. I've gotten to the point that I feel like saying that enough is enough! When a person knows the bible as well as my mom knows it, there's absolutely no excuse good enough to justify the way she's been living! Anyway, I've kinda gotten sidetracked from the main subject that you mentioned. Sorry about that.
The online search is as frustrating as offline searching, IMHO.
I've met people in person and had similar experiences as online. Years ago, thought this one guy at my very samll church was interested in me. We had gone out many times together. Then suddenly he started bringing a female classmate with him. I must have very blind and naive...it was long until he announced he was engaged to her.
Another similar situation many years later...many people, including our pastor thought we would make a great couple. He didn't...a humbling experience as I became friends with his future wife. Thankfully, God gave me the stength to not be bitter as I am still friends with both of them...that's been about 13 years.
I find it easier to accept rejection through online sites...not that I like it. It's more anonymous.
Sounds like you need to find a way to get out of your mother's home sooner rather than later. You don't need to wait until you get married to move out. If you can find someone to rent a room from or rent an apartment, go for it. It will help you mentally and emotionally prepare for a wife. You will also be able to eventually forgive your mother for the wrong she's done...whether she asks for it or not.
I don't live with my mom, but I've had to deal with a lot of her nonsense for way too long. My mom hasn't been living the the way she knows she should be. But then, as if that wasn't enough of a problem, after I finally got to the place in my life where I felt like God was moving in my life, my mom stepped in and told me things that she shouldn't have. My faith walk was majorly disrupted as a result of some of the things she said. By the way, my mom had feelings for a pastor about 10 years ago, and it basically got exposed to some of the church members...and afterwards she didn't want to go to church, so then she got abusive toward my dad and basically pulled him out of church...so yeah, she's got some major wires crossed in her head! That woman WILL NOT be a part of my life anymore unless she majorly changes her lifestyle. I'm sorry, but when someone tells you they love you, yet they get right up in your face and tell you things that crash your faith walk, that's terribly wrong! It's one thing if someone else wants to keep living in sin, but don't grab me and start yelling right there in my face and suggesting to me that I'm wrong for believing God's Word with all my heart. After my faith was in a downfall, another family member suggested that my faith wouldn't have crashed if it had been true faith...but guess what??? That's not even scriptural...and I expect my mom's life to get worse than ever as a result of what she did to my faith. Jesus said that if anyone causes a child who believes in Him to lose their faith, that it would be better for that person if a huge millstone were hung around their neck and they were thrown into the depth of the sea. I believe that passage of scripture doesn't just apply to what most people refer to as children...but rather to anyone who is a child of God. Maybe that interpretation is wrong, but I don't believe so.
The situation with my mom and I isn't a matter of unforgiveness...it's a matter of what's best for me and my faith walk. I can't justify putting my future wife and I in jeopardy of losing our marriage simply because my mom wants to be a part of my life. If she wants to be a part of my life bad enough, then she will change her lifestyle...otherwise she can stay out of my life! As far as I'm concerned, she's already partly responsible for wrecking one of my uncles marriages...because she interfered when she should kept her sorry hide out of other folks marriage...especially when she couldn't even manage her own marriage properly!
Sounds like you made the right decision to move out and move on. You're also right that your faith can be shaken by a lot of events...that doesn't mean you didn't have enough faith. Job had plenty of faith and a lot of bad things happened to him.
Only God knows why He allowed you to face the challenges of dealing with your mother. You may be able to use this situation to help,others. One of the men in my church had an opportunity to explain to my nephew the hard life he had growing up and how God changed him. It's hard for people to sometimes take advice from someone who never experienced similar problems.
You may never directly deal with your mother again...that is your choice and you will know the answer to that question. Forgiveness isn't about the other person, it's about you. You can forgive her for the pain she causes you without ever telling her. I went through a period in my life when I was at complete odds with my parents. I read a book "Making Peace with My Parents". It helped me to better understand how I could overcome the pain I was experiencing and actually forgive them. It took a lot of years -- but it was worth it.
