Author	Thread: Dating a married person that is separated and or in process of divorce.... need opinions on this subject. Honest responses please.
Admin	Dating a married person that is separated and or in process of divorce.... need opinions on this subject. Honest responses please. Posted : 25 Feb, 2009 06:15 PM I just need to know what other peoples opinion on this subject is. I personally am legally still married, we are separated and are in the process of a divorce. What are some of your opinions on dating a married man or woman in this situation. If the man or woman says to the other their marriage is over, are your free to start dating? Or do your have to wait until your divorce is final? Post Reply
JimA View Profile History	Dating a married person that is separated and or in process of divorce.... need opinions on this subject. Honest responses please. Posted : 3 Nov, 2009 05:20 PM Your question is easy to answer as the answer is in the Bible. Matthew 5:17 says "Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil." Then, if the law (the legal system) has not granted you a divorce, you are still married. If you are separated and not divorced, then you will commit adultery if you go out with another person. If someone is waiting in the wings for you to get a divorce, then they will be willing to wait until the divorce is over if this person truly does love you. Post Reply
WithHope View Profile History	Dating a married person that is separated and or in process of divorce.... need opinions on this subject. Honest responses please. Posted : 5 Nov, 2009 05:33 PM It depends on the circumstances. If it is very clear the marriage is over and some very legitimate reason for the process taking long then you can consider moving ahead slowly. If the ink is barely dry on the papers, stay clear. Post Reply
View Profile History	Dating a married person that is separated and or in process of divorce.... need opinions on this subject. Honest responses please. Posted : 31 Dec, 2009 01:08 AM Perhaps the man that cant hear from *GOD* and give You a true peace about his approach is not the right man anyway. Because if You dont honour *GOD* you wont honour your Mate when it comes to the crunch, right?. To the pure all things pure,so get ready and simply ask Your *Heavenly *Father* with pen in Your hand and write the response down that comes to mind.A Waiting clean heart shall get the SPIRIT OF TRUTH. And now I am going to get aside and practice what I just preached.GOD BLESS YOU BIG.X Ed M 1 Jn 2.27 But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him. Post Reply
Fulvio View Profile History	Dating a married person that is separated and or in process of divorce.... need opinions on this subject. Honest responses please. Posted : 17 Jan, 2010 08:27 PM God's words on this subject: "And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery." MARK 11-12 "For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband." ROMANS 7:2 "The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord." FIRST CORINTHIANS 7:39 Post Reply
View Profile History	Dating a married person that is separated and or in process of divorce.... need opinions on this subject. Honest responses please. Posted : 18 Jan, 2010 12:21 AM Darlin' as difficult as it may be... It is not over until it is over. Yes, marriage is a bond between you two and God. It is said that once it is over no matter what the situation, you should go through a solid year before seeking out a new intimate relationship. You need get past every birthday, holiday, special occassion... This is the healing time to learn about yourself and grow. It hurts a lot and you will grieve a loss the same as if a love had died. Keep God close to you my dear. Talk to Him often. Seek something every day and tell Him you are grateful. Live with a grateful heart. It helps to get past the loneness and the hurt. List on paper every day what you are greatful for. Fill the page... When you can't think of anything else, dig down deep and think of something else. I promise it will lift your heart and keep you close to God every day. Later down the road when you read your list you will discover all the lessons learned and successes achieved. It will all be in your list. When I did my list there was a day that all I could think of was, Thank you God, I could breath today. Other times I filled the whol page and fast. It just rolled out. I committed to write a list every day for 6 months. I did just that. Sometimes it was not easy... But do it. Sex is a really difficult issue to deal with but you will find your way. I am a widow and many a day and night I have cried stinging tears and prayed to God to help me get through my own deep needs. I learned not to be needy, just to have needs as God has made us. May you be Blessed my dear. May the Comfort of God and the Holy Spirit fall upon you and give you peace. This I pray for you. Always Me~ Peggy:glow: Post Reply
View Profile History	Dating a married person that is separated and or in process of divorce.... need opinions on this subject. Honest responses please. Posted : 18 Jan, 2010 07:30 AM dear smyln, welcome to the forums. ole cattle Post Reply
RockLover View Profile History	Dating a married person that is separated and or in process of divorce.... need opinions on this subject. Honest responses please. Posted : 4 Feb, 2010 02:58 AM Fulvio, thank you for bringing the scriptures to light... they do speak volumes. My wife separated away most of the past 10 years (the last 4 1/2 continuously) and I have pondered I Cor 7, Rom 7 and Matt 19 a lot to know what to do. Marriage covenants come together by an agreement. The written NT Word is strict about not taking any reason to divorce. That would be an act of permanent disagreement. It is better to confess (agree to) the fault, count the loss and forgive. The most direct scripture addressing the one who is caught in a long term separation with a believing spouse is I Cor 7:10-11 : V10 "And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: V11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife." A person in my position is told by this scripture to: 1) not let her leave in the first place, but if she does, 2) be reconciled with her at all cost 3) not get a divorce I'm held in limbo, and my wife is holding all the cards in that she doesn't want to reconcile and that she won't get a divorce - and seems to be protected by scripture in it. She just doesn't want to be married - to anyone. There are no NT stories telling how a couple worked out a situation like mine, at least in any detail. I can only surmise that the Lord is telling me to wait, or even put Him in place of my missing wife. When I take on a battle and fall, come home to a still house and a cold bed, I have to pull myself together and say, "Well Lord, here we are again." I have counselled with a multitde of counselors on the subject of divorce and re-marriage, and it comes down with them about having grounds to divorce or not. There is grounds, for unrepentant fornication or adultery, of course. But some have said grounds exist for emotional or physical abuse - and abandonment, and they authorize those positions in this scripture: "And whatsoever things you bind in earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatsoever things you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven." Rom 7 is addressed to those that know the law, and it is a tough one to chew on when considering the position you put everyone in by getting a divorce and re-marrying: V1 " Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? V2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. V3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man. V4 Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God. " What this scripture says to a separated believer is: 1) even if you divorce, even after your divorce, you are bound to your 1st wife as long as she lives 2) if you marry another while she lives, your new mate will be called an adulteress 3) V4 is the tough one: as Jesus put the law to death by personally paying the penalties of it in his body - we are to be married to one another in the body of Christ, in the end result that we are bringing fruit pleasing to God. In the absence of the marital relationship with my wife, I go to the body of Christ, wherever they meet, for acceptance, fellowship and counselling that I miss having lost my marriage. I am to be pittied when I fall in a battle alone, for there is no one to pick me up - until Sunday, when I get back to the body of Christ. David and Johnathan supported each other like this and were a model for the body of Christ. One Mother's Day, our pastor called up the single parents and their kids, so that the church could pray over them and support them trying to keep the household a home all alone. There were 16 such households lined all the way accross the front, and the tears, the tears, the tears were so deep and genuine. They hadn't been coming to church to find a mate; they were coming to find how to maintain hope from week to week from the whole body of Christ, and HOW WE LOVED THEM! I may not be speaking for all the separated brothers and sisters, but I have logged on to this site because there is no place else for me to go but the body of Christ! Another scripture I have pondered over was spoken by Jesus to disciples, Matthew 19: 9-12 V9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. V10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. V11 But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. V12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it. V12 is the tough one, where the man who has been separated or divorced has his reproductive parts surgicaly removed to stay pure in the kingdom of heaven. Anyone that has experienced abundant life in Christ with an undefiled marriage bed has experienced great creative intimacy, and that binds you to a memory that is hard to forget, if they ever wanted to. Jesus seems to be saying, if you can recieve it, to make yourself a eunich instead of going back to re-live that experience with someone else and putting your soul in danger. There are other passages on the subject, but I'll bring them up some other time. I'm learning a lot from you folks. RockLover Post Reply
View Profile History	Dating a married person that is separated and or in process of divorce.... need opinions on this subject. Honest responses please. Posted : 4 Feb, 2010 12:04 PM How wonderful that you are part of a fellowship that knows how to be "The church"!!! May their kind increase!!!! Welcome to the mysterious journey of life!! Post Reply
View Profile History	Dating a married person that is separated and or in process of divorce.... need opinions on this subject. Honest responses please. Posted : 7 Feb, 2010 05:16 PM I have been through a divorce and know that you need time off to yourself to overcome the ending of your relationship. I suggest to stay in prayer and ask the Lord to heal you and prepare you for what he will do in your life. My advise is not to get involve with anyone else for at least two years after the divorce. Post Reply
bestfriends View Profile History	Dating a married person that is separated and or in process of divorce.... need opinions on this subject. Honest responses please. Posted : 21 Feb, 2010 02:02 PM What if divorce is not allowed in your country just like in the Philippines. Annulment of marriage is allowed but it takes a long processing and very expensive as well. Majority of married couples go their separate ways and build families without being divorce or annulling their marriages. Of course this happens when they fall out of love and agree to part ways. So what do call this cohabitation. An affair? Those of you who is kind enough to share thoughts. Thanks a lot. Post Reply

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