I am engaged to a Lady who lives 7000 miles away from me. We are planning to be married in May of this year. We have a relationship beyound what my heart could have imagined. It will be 2 years for us this January. We met here in this site.
Here is my path God ordained for me leading up to finding my hearts desire.............
But like the woman at the well who was a Samaritan. The woman who was a outcast of society because she had many husbands. She was alone at the well in the noon time where the other women would have went to the well in morning time when it was cool.
Like the woman at the well who went from relationship to relationship looking for fulfillment so had my wife. Only the woman at the well heard the voice of jesus and became a testimony to those who has cast her out.
She went and called them to meet Jesus and they heard His words for their selves. Even though my ex like this woman has had another husband and the one she lives with is not her husband. I hope she hears the words of Jesus for her self one day. The relationship with Him that her soul longs for.
Well we married together in the office of one of the pastors of our church. Our daughter being a witness of the marriage.
Like any well meaning individual she promised that we would never break up again. She vowed her vows to me with all well intentions and sinserity.
Life was good for a couple of years. We had a beautiful home to live in. We seemed to get along in our relationship together. Then we got pregnant with child.
Things seemed hopeful for us and our future.
Then we got the news that our child, a boy who we named Nathan was without a heart beat.
She wanted to follow the doctors orders to abort the child and I wanted to walk by faith believing God could at any time give our baby a heart beat.
This conflict is just one example to how we never were on the same page together. How she never wanted to follow me as a man. Even in disclplining our daughter she would always take the opposing side.
It is greatly frustrating having the one you love consistantly opposing the leadership you try to give.
But you know this set a lasting impression on me when searching for a future bride. When Jesus tell us to not be unequally yoked together with a unbeliever it is for our best interest.
Belief is faith and faith goes far beyound salvation. Faith speakes of the decisions we make in life and our ability to trust God in them even when things look their worst.
So I had faith and she did not.
As a man who loved her I wasnt going to try forcing her to carry this child when she obviously did not want to. I wasnt going to force her to have faith when she did not.
So she had the abortion of our child who never developed a heart beat.
Why do I share this detail with you? Ask your self can God do anything? Can He save a child without a heat beat and give him one? Can God save a marriage and give it a future?
Yes He can but only when two individuals are surrendered to His will. Only when a husband and wife choose to walk by faith and not by sight.
All you can do is ask your spouse if they will walk by faith with you and see where God leads.
Dear let this mind be in you, I'm so sorry that things are not working out for you. I was so elated by reading your post that ya'll had been reconciled to each other. In some ways I wish my children's dad would have wanted to reconcile. But, after many yrs. of counseling. He chose not to follow the will & ways of God even though part of his cloaking involved being in Christian ministry for 25 yrs.. We were unequally yoked from the starting gate of our "marriage" I just didn't know it. Certain details of his life were deliberately masked over by great deception on his part towards me for many yrs.. I thank God everyday that someday He will bring forth that Awesome,Strong man of God who has a heart as David's was after God and the things of God and his desire is to love and serve God as I do and that we will do the same for each other. Laying down our lives for each other. And he will Truly love me as Christ loves the Church and has given Himself for it:) So looking forward to that day. Please keep me in your prayers that God will bring him forth in His time. And that I will not grow weary patiently waiting for him It's already been 9yrs.. So much of my life, womanhood, and youth were needlessly wasted on trying to love my "husband". The only Blessings that came forth were my children. They were birthed in prayer, Drs. said I could never have any after chemo. But, God and His Word prevailed:)I've so enjoyed reading about your life,your struggles, and your triumphs etc. Please continue to post as the Lord leads. I've been greatly encouraged by your testimonies of His correction and Faithfulness and of His loving grace. Against impossible odds:)Continue to be Blessed with His best.
After being remarried in 2000 I moved my wife and daughter into a rented house I was living in.
It was a nice 2 story house and we even had a neighbor accross the street who was christian. The child we might have had together had not been concieved as of yet.
Our land lord was a good guy and we lived in realitive peace. I have a found memory of one winter where it really snowed alot. As a family we piled snow and played together. I carved a hourse out of the snow for our daughter to play on. I wish i had good pictures of it but due to the lighting could never achieve capturing a good shot. :(
Life has a way to continue giving trouble. The house our land lord lived in was a twin house and he decided to sell. The neighbors who lived in the other side decided to purchase the unit.
They were dificult people in the first place and now we had to deal with them as land lords. They decided to raise the rent on us for an amount that was not fair according to the housing market. So we began to look for alternitive housing.
While this was going on we were trying to get help from a financial counselor with our financess. Even though I was now making pretty good money with my business we still had conflict over money.
We had things going on between us that I dont think either one of us were really concious of or even knew how to desal with it. But one thing for sure this left us both feeling frustrated.
Well my wife and I found a house just 1 street over. It was a large rancher on a really large property I think probally 1.5 to 2 achors. The house sat next to an orphanage where the neighbor accross the street who was a believer worked as a maintenance man.
We got to know some of the boys living in the oprhanage and i would give them rides in the trailer with my tractor and they loved it. Their were some issues with some boys throwing rocks on the lawn and at the house. But i was able to resolve it with them.
One christmas we bought a bunch of toys for the boys and delivered them to them. The older boys used to work on bikes fixing them so I found some used bikes to help them with parts. Some of the boys bikes were in really poor shape.
Life seemed good until I sensed from the Lord dishonesty in my wife about something. She worked for a local bank branch and their was this maintenence man she was friends with. I had began asking questions about him and their relationship and did not like the answers I got.
One time I even cought her in a bold faced lie and gave her the oppertunity to recant of her lie and be honest with me. She placed the blame on me for her lying to me.
The trust that was rock began to quickly diminish and it became more and more difficult to trust and forgive her. We went on for over 6 months back and forth about this relationship with this fellow until I finally told her she had to quit her job.
This was the death of our relationship but we continued on with life together. We could never resolve any issues we had and bitterness began to fill my life with her and she with me.
She was bitter with me over making her quit her job and I was bitter with her for breaking my trust once again. I became more and more angry and she became more and more afraid of me.
You see I wanted her to be something she was not able to be. A commited woman. I wanted her to be a honest and commited woman and she was just not able to be these things for me.
Even though she had good intentions and even reashored me when we were remarried they were not a reality of her life.
It was my fault for not giving time to see if change really occured in her life through repentence.
You might say how sad....and this would be a normal response.
But I say .......But God. My life has been one tragic event after another but God. But God........
God tells us the He will work all things together for the good. The what? Good to those who love Him. Who? those who love Him..and those who are the called according to His purpose. Whos purpose? Gods........
You see God is the author of my life and all the tragic events according to His purpose and what has God done? God continues to bring forth good. What? Yes good......
Was every trial painful? Yes and they still are. Infact my life is still one trial after another but do you know the difference of then and now?
Now I can embrace the trials with expectation. Expectation of what good things God is planning to do next.
But God......
So it is now the early 2000's and I am once again in emotional tormoil over my marriage. We are getting ready to move once again and this time purchase a home together.
And He still is .....But now He is doing it through a good woman He has brough into my life, but that story comes latter.
If you remember, I grew up in a home filled with conflict that was unresolved and still is with my brothers. We choose what is familiar to us until we begin to find a new familiar. ( Family)
Same goes with my wife. She choose me for being familiar whether she reconises it or not. Only what was familiar to me had began to change through my relationship in the family of God as His child. The old things were passing away and behold new things were coming.
Day by day and moment by moment God was making me into the man I wanted to be and a husband worthy of respect. A husband who knew how to love his wife. I was being redeemed piece by piece.
We could have been redeemed together but she wanted another path. Their is hope for any couple who wants redemption.
Well we purchased a home together. A nice rancher with a stream going beside it. My daughter and I loved the stream with frogs and fish ( minnows) swimming in it. It was like a little oasis right out our rear door. We had ducks that would visit us and we would feed them but we never really did anything together as a family.
It was like my wife lived a seperate life with our daughter and I lived a seperate life. Like she never wanted to be part of my world. I was part of her world but she never was part of mine. This is how our whole marriage both times went.
I was attending counseling sessions over the situation and even getting her to agree with being a part of my world with this was like pulling teeth. Even then she had her own counseling world and never entered into mine.
The constant feeling of rejection was a weight to great to bear on a daily basis.
I knew she was on her way out once again. Unlike the first time where I held on tight to her this time I freely let her go.
I gave her what she wanted and that was out of the relationship.
She had moved out in 2004 and moved into a apartment with her mom.
18For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. 19For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. 20For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; 21because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. 22For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now.
3Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. 6Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. 7And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation.
10that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death,
8Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me His prisoner, but share with me in the sufferings for the gospel according to the power of God, 9who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began,
12Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; 13but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ�s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy.
It is a easy thing to say I want the will of God. We can even truly desire the will of God without knowing how to fulfill His will.
The difference between saying and truly wanting Gods will is our willingness to endure suffering in order for the will of God to be fulfilled in our lives.
Jesus our example when facing the cross and the burden of suffering He was going to endure cried out with these words to God.
If it be possible let this cup pass from me but never the less thy will be done.
Do we really desire the will of God even in the face of great suffering? Our are we wanting to escape suffering at the cost of following Gods will?
This was the dividing factor for my wife and I.
But here is the thing, she was unabe to escape suffering through the many time she tried to divide her life from mine. She still is unable to escape suffering.
But what she lost was the ability to know God. We both suffered. I found God and she ran from God.
Our guilt was equal, our suffering was equal. But in the midst I found love with God and Gods love for me. She continues to find empiness.
I thank God because he choose you to endure all this because he knew you were strong enough to go through it all. You have given hope to alot of people through your story. I am touched by your story and i enjoyed reading it. and how God revealed his love to you through your trials, and the joy of knowing he is your true father .God is so amazing, every time i remember of his Grace and mercy it makes me shed tears. I am very happy for you, i will be looking forward to read more..
