Thread: Not exactly a dating story, but my experiences on this site to date...
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Not exactly a dating story, but my experiences on this site to date...
Posted : 8 Jan, 2018 02:35 PM
I vowed to never again sign up on a dating site. I tried maybe 10 or so since my beloved passed away in April, 2009, including the venerable eHarmony (not so venerable as I soon learned). Some sites were tried more than once. I usually dropped out after a few weeks or a month when no one responded to any of my messages. (I've learned though that if you just throw a compliment at a woman, particularly about her looks, you will more often than not get a response LOL)
This time, however, I decided to stick it out a while, since I've learned from others that patience and persistence can pay off. Well, thus far, that has proven incorrect. (And, as a qualifier, I'd like to add that I know some women here have experienced just as much flakiness and, in some cases, downright insanity from some of the men here -- but I can only comment on my experiences as a straight man seeking a straight woman.)
Here is some of the wonderfulness I've encountered:
1. Too many women my age or within 5 years of it seems to want younger men. I put up a post about this on the message boards:
And women blame men for always wanting the pretty young things? Ladies, some of you are just as bad.
2. I have messaged younger women, women my age, and a few older, about 152 to date, since March of 2016 when I signed on. I have one platonic associate to show for it (we met once for a brunch-like meal), and one messaging correspondence with a nice sister 9,000 mi away in India.
3. I have had Christian women in the real world tell me -- to my face -- that my 5'6" was too short for them. One was shorter than I, by a few inches. The other was taller, but we were only supposed to be platonic friends. WHY did she feel the need to tell me that? I by no means EVER gave her reason to think I wanted anything more (and believe me, I didn't). The reason? Because when they wear heals, they don't want to feel stupid standing next to me. THIS is the Christian woman's dating criteria, at least in the spoiled West.
I get having physical preferences, but even this visually-driven man is realistic and not seeking some Hollywood ideal.
But, this may also be one of the reasons women here don't write me back. (I've been tempted to change that 5-6 to 6-5 to see what happens. Of course I wouldn't mislead them beyond that, but an interesting sociological experiment it would be.)
4. All but maybe 4 or 5 of my messages have been met by green check marks and no follow-up, or they have not been read at all.
My messages are nice, not lewd. I usually ask about the woman's interests/pastimes or about her Christian faith. And, I am greeted by a hand in my face.
And, how do you NOT read messages in your inbox here? And yes, I can confirm that at least some of these women are still active on the site because their pictures are being periodically updated.
For the record, I ALWAYS respond to a messenger, regardless of whether or not I'm interested. Got a post up about that one, too.
Now, the site is used more for entertainment than anything else. Some of the ladies' profiles are laughable or just make me shake my head. (Some of my favorite profile entries are "I don't know what to say. Ask anything you want to know," and "I'll put more in here later," which of course never happens.) Some photos are genuinely hot and so I enjoy a little eye candy for a few moments. And, I enjoy spinning the roulette wheel once in a while and taking a shot by messaging someone, even though almost every cell in my body awaits the unanswered, green check or no reading of my message ever.
Why does this happen? I think it's that men outnumber women a lot on sites like this (or so I've heard), and that many Western Christian women are spoiled by the success of Western Civilization and so have their expectations in the stratosphere (so that things like my height become a serious impediment, but if I was an *expletive* I might actually get somewhere!). So, I have very little hope of getting through this life without the gift of celibacy, but having to live as if I were so equipped. In the mean time, I will enjoy my one platonic, overseas correspondence and the periodic, entertaining profile. This site, unfortunately, and all sites like, serve no other purpose.
Not exactly a dating story, but my experiences on this site to date...
Posted : 27 Jan, 2018 01:50 AM
For the readers of this thread I want to reiterate that, in my initial post, I had asked 'why' to start a paragraph in which I answered my own question. Again, I was not seeking advice. (I have since done so in another thread.)
Not exactly a dating story, but my experiences on this site to date...
Posted : 27 Jan, 2018 02:08 AM
Anti... it seems your age prefs forbid me from saying this privately, so I will attempt to temper my words and emotions publicly, but say what needs to be said.
My wife's death was, by far, the most painful event of my life to date. My heart was shattered. I felt nuked. To this day I am not the same. I am healed, but a scar remains.
For you to make the utterly clueless and insensitive comments you made about a lack of caring on my part, reminds me of a proverb:
"Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent..." ~ Proverbs 17:28.
If you continue along these lines about my wife's passing, a topic I am passionately sensitive about, I will see what I can about having the admins of this site remove you.
