Author	Thread: Are You Some Man's Toilet?
pearl1765 View Profile History	Are You Some Man's Toilet? Posted : 10 Jan, 2013 04:02 PM Recently, I went on a coffee date with a man � that sounds strange even as I read it on paper. Strange that I felt the need to clarify that it was a man and even stranger that I went out on a date. You see, I was married for over 20 years to the same man so I decided that I needed to explore what the dating scene looked like after being off of the market for over 20 years. Let me add that I had been divorced for over two years and separated before that for four, so I was well healed before taking this route. Needless to say, I didn�t know exactly where to begin � Did I join some mega-million dollar dating site and put up a profile? Did I wait patiently for God to bring somebody? Did I church hop and pray? Did I just sit at home and eat bonbons? What were my options? Truthfully, way too many options are out there. Some way too much money and others � well, they are just a place for �scammer�s� to look for vulnerable and emotionally unstable people to prey upon. It can be really scary and confusing � Mike, that�s what we�ll call him, was a nice looking guy, well-groomed, educated and he loved to travel. Actually, that was what drew me to him, the travel part � I love to travel. Well, that and the line in his profile that said something along the lines of �Chivalry lives �� So, when he invited me for coffee I accepted. Anyway, he was my first coffee date experience. Honestly, I was a bit nervous but once there � it was like riding a bike. Conversation, light laughter and then � we got to the heart of the man or should I say � men. Don�t ask me how but we got on the topic of sexual intimacy. Now, let me tell you that I am an advocate of purity and intimacy being reserved for the marriage bed. I don�t hide my beliefs and they are clearly written there on my profile for anybody that wants to read it. It is non-negotiable as far as I am concerned and I made that perfectly clear to Mike. Mike proceeded to tell me that, �Dr. Ruth says that you shouldn�t buy a pair of shoes until you try them on first.� Did he just call me a shoe? Really, I wasn�t offended � I mean if I look like a pair of men�s shoes � Well, you get the point. I just thought to myself � I am not a man�s pair of shoes to be tried on and discarded because I don�t fit � and I hope that the woman who is willing to be that pair of shoes insists that he wears socks. What about Athlete�s Foot for goodness sake? Some fungus� are impossible to get rid of � they just keep spreading. Mike had just returned from the restroom when we started discussing the topic of sexual intimacy and purity. He asked me what I taught and I told him that I teach purity to young girls and women because we as women don�t value ourselves � giving away that which should be treasured because we think that will bind the man�s heart to us. We discussed how when we women sleep with someone, we (not all but most) if we are really honest become emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually invested when we are intimate. Men, � well, it just doesn�t work the same way for them � They just aren�t wired like we are and the sooner we acknowledge that well-known fact the better off we will be and our daughters will be as well. Brace yourselves, ladies because this is what he shared with me and told me to tell you. He said, �I just got back from using the restroom, right?� I thought that was a rather odd thing to say but I was curious so I played along and said, �Yes.� He said, �Well, I went into that bathroom and it was a nice bathroom. I used the toilet and completed my business. I washed my hands and I walked out of the bathroom. Right?� Well, at this point I was thinking, �I certainly hope so � I mean I hope that you washed your hands.� But I didn�t say that, I said, �Yes.� He then proceeded to tell me that was how it was for �some� men when they have sex with a woman. He said, (and I admit I am paraphrasing because I was amazed that he was bold enough but candid as well as honest enough to tell the truth on the matter) � �Unless, we are emotionally invested in a woman then it is just like doing our business in a bathroom toilet of a preferred restaurant. We go in we use the �facility�, we clean ourselves up and we leave. We aren�t thinking about that bathroom toilet anymore � we aren�t wondering who is using that toilet, what that toilet is doing right now or remembering anything special about that toilet � We have taken care of our basic need to release and after that we are done. Unless, for some reason we need to use that toilet again.� Now, you are probably thinking like I was � �WOW, you are really a piece of work and not to mention disgusting.� Honestly though, I had to admit that I was grateful to him. I wasn�t angry with him � I was appreciative he had confirmed that my teaching was warranted. In sharing that truth with me, he had basically told me to ask women everywhere this question � �Are you some man�s toilet?� And so, I am � I dare to ask you that question � Are you some man�s toilet or perhaps, you are a pair of shoes? Personally, I don�t intend to be either one and I hope that more women will choose the harder, less traveled road of keeping themselves � it is a matter that goes beyond self-esteem and self-respect. Now, I dare you to be honest with yourself � �Are you???� Thanks, Mike ... It says in Song of Solomon several times (Chapters and verses 2:7, 3:5 & 8:4) � �Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.� If you ever wondered why ... it was for our protection but if you don't believe me ... perhaps, you need to read this again. Post Reply
pearl1765 View Profile History	Are You Some Man's Toilet? Posted : 29 Jan, 2013 08:21 PM lethismind2 ... Beautifully said! Thank you.:applause: Post Reply
pearl1765 View Profile History	Are You Some Man's Toilet? Posted : 29 Jan, 2013 08:23 PM Trust God and He will give you wisdom to recognize the true man from the counterfeit. Post Reply
pearl1765 View Profile History	Are You Some Man's Toilet? Posted : 29 Jan, 2013 08:25 PM Love the idea of cleaning a gun when a guy comes to pick up a daughter ... I plan to have a blinged out glock and wear pink rollers while I clean mine. That should do the trick! Post Reply
CuriousGeorge View Profile History	Are You Some Man's Toilet? Posted : 30 Jan, 2013 06:13 PM ^ lol wut? then i guess your daughter would stay single Post Reply
pearl1765 View Profile History	Are You Some Man's Toilet? Posted : 2 Feb, 2013 07:44 PM Well, if he can't take the bling ... I am sure the right guy won't be intimidated. LOL! Post Reply
oceanshore View Profile History	Are You Some Man's Toilet? Posted : 22 Feb, 2013 04:24 PM Hi there. Thanks for writing this and posting it. I am a man and I appreciate your story. Let me start by saying that I am 42 and I am a virgin. I know that is not the norm, but as someone who believes in purity before marriage, I would like to let you know that not all men are like "Mike". However, many men are like that. That is why I believe that women MUST say NO to pre-marital sex. Like, this should be what every women abides by. I am sure that this can be difficult since some men can be very patient and cultivate an emotional relationship with a women, always thinking of how to get into bed. If you are ever tempted to deviate from this standard, please think of me...think of how disappointed I would be if I decided to marry you and you had to tell me that you gave yourself to some other guy and did not wait for me...even though I had waited for you. I hope that motivation alone will be enough. And don't worry if you feel like you are getting too old and, what if you die and never are intimate with a man? Even in that case, when you get to Heaven, you will be glad that you never gave yourself to a man you were not married to. I know that in India, a woman can't touch a man before being engaged and then they are frequently married soon thereafter....like within days or weeks of being engaged. I think the rest of the world could learn a few things from that. You know what happens to the guys? They have to wait or find prostitutes or loose women. In certain parts of Asia, there are much higher numbers of men who are virgins when they marry. I think that is a good thing. God bless and be strong. Post Reply
pearl1765 View Profile History	Are You Some Man's Toilet? Posted : 15 May, 2013 07:24 AM Sorry, I am just seeing this post. Congratulations on remaining pure for Him. I believe that God will bless you with the desires of your heart as you continue to seek Him for the mate of His choice for you. God bless you! Post Reply
Elgin View Profile History	Are You Some Man's Toilet? Posted : 31 Aug, 2013 11:48 PM are you a man's toilet? You�re being pretty unfair and condemning there don�t you think? I tracked with you until you said "we got to the heart of the man or should I say � men." That�s pretty offensive the way you bunched all men under this toilet guy that you chose to go on a date with. If you really think we are all like that then why would you ever want get married or want to go on a date? It sound a bit like you have written all men off and are advocating same sex dating as you may have alluded to in the beginning of your forum with clarifying the date was mwith a man. I just wanted to inform you that we men value our purity too and in my experience it�s been a turn off to some of the ladies on the �Christian� dating sites and they have made it clearly known� don�t worry, I don�t think you�re all that way. I�m not mad, just offended to be generalized as an unbeliever who isn�t trying to live his life according to God�s Word just because of I�m a man. Yes that�s the category I would put any man or woman in if they don�t want to wait for marriage to be intimate. Paul said don�t be unequally yoked. So don�t date those people. You should be ale to discover that in the appropriate amount of phone conversations before you ever get to the actual in person date. The percentages men vs. women valuing purity may sway to one side or the other but you can not condemn all men based on your bad experiences. Thanks for making all men the same as your toilet date guy, the Christ followers really appreciate the generalization :) Post Reply
View Profile History	Are You Some Man's Toilet? Posted : 24 Sep, 2013 09:37 PM Thank you!A very good reminder ,because God is the owner of everything and He owns me so I have to make sure that God will be pleased in everything I do..to be holy and pure.God bless Post Reply
openheart27 View Profile History	Are You Some Man's Toilet? Posted : 23 Nov, 2013 07:38 PM Wow!!!!! Awesome... well said. Men will treat us the way we present ourselves. So we should always know our value. :applause: Thank you so much for this beautiful post. God bless you sister. Post Reply

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