Thread: I kissed courtship goodbye: christian rock music and legalism don't mix
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I kissed courtship goodbye: christian rock music and legalism don't mix
Posted : 13 Mar, 2011 08:24 PM
I have a horror story to share with you all:
I am an avid fan of christian rock and heavy metal music. I enjoy the classic bands like Stryper, Petra, and Whitecross as well as the heavier and more extreme bands like Mortification, Living Sacrifice, and Impending Doom, etc. P.O.D. was my introduction to christian music 10 years ago when I was back slidden. At the time, I was into secular bands like Slayer, Deicide and Morbid Angel, all which were lyrically desecrating my Lord and savior and all out in-your-face glorifying Satan. Soon after I discovered P.O.D., I started checking out christian music and came across the above mentioned christian bands along with many others. Soon after, I got rid of a number of secular metal CDs I had that were lyrically satanic and evil as I was being convicted by the holy spirit for supporting such bands and then I started growing in my walk with Christ. So I know from first hand experience that God can use all genres of music to minister to people and draw people closer to him.
Several months ago, I met a girl on christian mingle, and we became friends and started hanging out. It didn't take me long to figure out that she's rather old fashioned. She is very anti-dating and extremely gun-ho about courtship, something I knew very little about at the time, but I decided to go with it out of respect for her. Months later, we were in a "courtship" together and my views and fascination with christian rock and heavy metal started becoming an issue with us. We got into several debates about it. The first few were friendly non-hostile debates just between the two of us. But then she decided to get her parents involved and that's when things got ugly and turned to disaster. This girl and her parents confronted me viciously attacked me because of my views on christian rock music. They are your typical fundamental baptists. They are very legalistic and they think that christian rock music is just as "evil" and "satanic" as any Marylin Manson song because of the electric guitars and the drum beats, whereas my moral emphasis is on the LYRICS. We got into a heated debate in which I showed them song lyrics, testimonies, band interviews, youtube videos, etc. And I even read them Psalm 150. And everything I showed them they just responded with rebuttal. Trying to get them to understand that God uses christian rock music to minister to fans of rock music is like trying to convince Westboro Baptist Church that Jesus also died for homosexuals. To make a long story short, this girl dumped me because I refused to conform to her family's legalistic views against christian rock music. I myself was about ready to break it off with her because the rock music debates and how she was going about them threw up some serious red flags and made me question wether or not her and her family would also later on have suspicions about the local christian blues band I play bass for and wether or not they would support what I do with that (which I know the Lord has called me to do to use my musical talents to bless people with the gospel message).
I've always disliked legalism, but now I just flat out HATE it with a passion. Also, my short lived nightmare relationship with this girl has left a really bad taste in my mouth when it comes to courtship. So I think I will stick with traditional dating from here on out.
I kissed courtship goodbye: christian rock music and legalism don't mix
Posted : 22 Mar, 2011 09:30 AM
jahjahwarrior, I wouldn't exactly say that the parents, and the girl you were courting not approving of the music you listen to is "legalism" as you defined it. I would list the proper definition here, but I'm sure you can find it with any search engine.
Forgive me, but It seems to me you have a lot of bitterness in your heart, I'd hate for that to ruin your chances of finding a potential wife.
Also, courting really doesn't relate with how people view music, everyone has different opinions on music. Courting has to do with dating for marriage.
I'm sorry you were traumatized, but really that is not reason enough to display anger towards other Christians and how they worship.
I kissed courtship goodbye: christian rock music and legalism don't mix
Posted : 23 Mar, 2011 10:53 PM
You have to look at how a person is and if you feel God has led you to that person. As far as music goes, it is really up to the individual. I do not think you can be with someone if you feel you and them are not willing to work things out. I listen to all kinds of music. I am southern baptist and I have seen people be hard about what type of music you listen to but I do not dwell on it. It is what is in a person's heart. Samuel told Jesse "for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart". Everyone is different and have different beliefs but if they know Jesus that is what is important.
I kissed courtship goodbye: christian rock music and legalism don't mix
Posted : 27 Mar, 2011 09:25 PM
I would say chalk this up to experience. I know it's hard and frustrating to find someone you care about and you can't come to a mutual understanding.
I believe it's good to understand that people worship in different ways. There are many Christians that judge things to be wrong that's not clearly spelled out in scripture to be wrong.
Oh if we would only focus on what we do have in common, and that is the wonderful gifts of grace, mercy, and the Holy Spirit, through the blood of Jesus Christ. The teaching of the Gospel, His Word, Salvation, etc.
Our heavenly Father created us all differently, with different tastes, and styles. He also made us as creative beings. Music is a gift, a joy, and I don't believe there is anything wrong with singing to Him and enjoy doing it.
I personally enjoy many styles of christian music that causes me to lift my voice up to Heaven. I love getting down to some stirring African American gospel, country, old hymns, contemporary, blues, etc. I love music and I thank God that we can still have fun, more fun and serve Him. He loves us so much.
Just last night I watched a Hillsong United video that was full of young people just singing and worshiping the Lord. Some of it is rock and roll type and some of it is more praise and worship.
But, how beautiful to see s stadium full of young people singing and loving the Creator.
This is a youth ministry out of Australia, I think it's wonderful. I'm 47 and I have always loved rock and roll. When I was a teenager I was in pot filled arenas with bands singing about immorality, etc.
Kids want to have fun and I think it is wonderful there are many ministries that are geared to youth and saying you can have fun in the Lord. Now that I am a christian it is a blessing that you can have even more fun than in the world. I believe God loves seeing His children express themselves to Him in their special way.
It's so sad that some churches decide to designate that only a certain type of music is acceptable, when the scriptures they use, are clearly being interpreted a certain way to back up their belief.
I even know someone that goes to a certain kind of church that they can't use instruments in their music. I don't remember that denomination. That's ok if that's what they truly believe, but the sin comes when they judge someone else as wrong, because they don't believe the same way. That is separating of the brethren, and God is not pleased with that.
