Author Thread: Opposite Sex Friends
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Opposite Sex Friends
Posted : 3 Jul, 2010 02:21 PM

Should Their be boundaries where opposite sex friends are concerned, to keep the enemy from getting a foothold in a couples relationship or not? And if so what should they consist of?















I agree with Christian Psychologist Kevin Leman`s perspective boundaries. He has just two.















1) The opposite sex friends you were involved with dated/ were engaged too, or were intimate with in any form. Those opposite sex friends need to go. No contact with them. Unless they are the parent of a child in your current situation. And then only contact concerning the children.















2) Opposite sex friends you have never dated or been intimate with you can keep. But there needs to be boundaries their too. They are not allowed to call you or hang out with you without your significant other with you. And you NEVER confide in them about anything concerning your relationship with your mate EVER.















I have found this to be a very hot topic with single/divorce,widowed Christian women. They rarely see it as a relationship protection and respect issue.















They almost always view it as a control issue, which it is not intended for. I have not gotten a mans perspective yet on it.















Almost all (93%) Christian couples I talked to about this issue agreed with the boundaries totally.















I welcome everyone's viewpoints on this interesting subject.

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Opposite Sex Friends
Posted : 25 Jul, 2010 02:04 PM

male/females ..... friends????????? really?



I don't think so....

okay, I work with men and consider them work- friends, but never ..... go out with them for lunch,or other outside activities. As a hard and fast rule, I leave the work-friend relationship at work.



I believe ... " male/female friendships" are ones that haven't developed into an intimate one yet. There is always one person in that relationship who wants more.

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Opposite Sex Friends
Posted : 29 Jul, 2010 07:48 PM

not "always" lorral. it depends on where the individual is emotionally & how they connect with members of opposite gender.



Some people are so focused on "sexual tension" or differences & have never learned to see opposite sex people as anything but GENDER-specific instead of just as people.



Gender is only PART of who a person is & there are other ways to be attracted to people -which is how women can have friendly bonds as well without being sexually linked. It IS possible to have male/female relationships that are NOT focused on the possibility of sleeping together someday (which is the primary element that makes an agenda out of a mere friendship). People are more than just one-dimensional including men. I have many friends with whom i share strict platonic relationships. They are not sexually/romantically attracted to me at all, nor I to them. But-we love each other as brother/sister/friends. This is possible b/c God made it that way. People just need to stop viewing each other with selfish desire & accept each other as people who have needs/desires that we are NOT responsible to meet in every relationship. Nobody is one-dimensional & I am a STRONG believer in NOT seeing men or women as sexual objects alone. We're just TOOOO "wonderfully made" to be that simplistic or shallow. There is SOOO much depth both to that connection as welll as all the others. And they are ALL worth exploring.

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