I'm doing it now. My heart was taken on the sweetest ride ever by a lady, mentioned in another thread, whom I thought was divorced, but learned that it hadn't gone through yet. She took me to the stars, more than any woman had, since my wife, who passed away in 2009. We had "this" in common, "that" in common, God was showing us "signs" that we were meant to be. We would come on messaging here and chat for 2 1/2 hours every Saturday night. We seemed to grow closer with each passing day and week. Then last Wednesday she changed from Jekyl to Hyde very suddenly. She informed me she had a bad day Monday, her husband (that I didn't know was still her husband) was going to make trouble for her about their divorce. She hit me hard with the most harsh criticisms of emails I had written. I could not believe what I was reading.
This one is very very difficult, I am finding, to get over. It is literally a grief process. It is as if the person themselves have died. The sweet things she said to me for around 3 months, I now wonder if she even meant them. I'm on a tough walk now, crying nearly every day. I doubt she has shed one tear at all. I just wanted to say that being kicked to the curb suddenly, after being led to believe that one day you might marry, is the most severe and to me unChristian-like act there is. There was even talk between us, of how we slept, in a dark room, a sound machine. She always seemed to say "Oh that's how I do things too!" Now, I don't think so. She knew everything about me, my phone number, all of it. But I never was told even her last name or given her phone number. I should have been leery of that, but she had me by the heartstrings. I didn't care. I had no common sense to care. My downfall. She kept me a secret from her family. No one but her knew of our relationship. Another red flag.
My heart goes out to others who have been taken on a similar journey with your heart, only to be kicked aside like nothing had ever transpired. I truly understand! With God's help, I will heal, but it may take me some time to realize this goal.
Musician, so very sorry to hear about your recent heartbreak.
After I read your experience I began to reflect on some of my own past experiences. Undeniably, relationships can take a wrong turn down dead end road. The ride becomes perilously painful and emotionally draining.
Eventually we heal and become wiser—but more importantly, we become a comfort to others experiencing the same thing.
In 2 years, I’ll be 70 if I make it. And you’re exactly the age of my older brother. So I think I can talk to you just like a brother. I had a few things to share. I hope you find them helpful.
When I receive messages and winks from ladies I always try to start by asking questions about their relationship with God. I ask them about salvation and about how they came to know Jesus as Savior.
Sadly, many women seem uncertain about their faith. Worse yet, some claim to be Christian but can’t explain how they became a Christian. I find this curiously alarming!!
The reason I labor this point is simply this. If a woman can’t explain why she’s a Christian then how can she obey Jesus in other areas of life such as being in a relationship!! When asked questions some women quickly fade away from the conversations or become irritated. In such cases, I consider myself fortunate enough to have exposed a bitter person who should be avoided.
At this point, I would respectfully, as your brother, like to bring your attention to something you mentioned that took place at the beginning of your relationship with this lady. You said this: “God was showing us "signs" that we were meant to be.” I realize you don’t need me to tell this was a mistake. I can only offer my advice, for what it’s worth. But from this point forward, if you meet a woman who claims to be receiving “signs from God” you need to run like Forest Gump‼️‼️
The truth is this: the only way we receive revelation from God is through his written Word the Bible. Make it your ambition to know the Bible and study it for all you’re worth!! If you do, you will obtain wisdom and discernment to help you avoid people like the woman in your nightmare.
I wish I had that wisdom earlier in my life too. Then I might have avoided the pain I experienced.
Take care my brother.
Others, including myself, are right there with you‼️
Thank you so much, Little David, my brother, for the most sage and great advice ever! If you don't mind, I would like to print off your wonderful advice for future reference. That way, if I should be stupid enough to become involved with another lady, I will have what you have told me, as a guideline.
You are awesome, brother and I thank you so much for caring enough to show me where I went wrong. Thank you too for being here for me with my other CDFF family. Love you in the Lord, Brother Little David!
My condolences to all those here with sad memories, bad experiences and disappointing heartbreaks either through on-line or 'in real life'..
Yes, knowing someone on-line can be very meaningful and give us that hope there might be more. When that is crushed, it can be heart wrenching. Just because we never 'met them in the flesh, doesn't mean it was not genuine (for us at least)..
However, the biggest disappointments I have ever had, were 'in real life' situations, people I had seen, talked with, interacted with, played music with, seen them at church events etc... Meeting them 'in real life' did not spare me from heartbreak.
That's why I almost prefer to keep my contacts with boundaries and NOT meet anyone too easily. Video chatting, phone calls etc.. can already build too much attachment that is even more devastating to heal from, if the person chooses to walk out...
May the Lord guide and direct us to the people who are meant for our lives, and vice versa... either on-line, or face to face.
I am so sorry that you have had disappointments, and possibly have also been hurt in real life situations, NarnianGirl. Those are very good boundaries to keep. And Amen too, on your last sentence about the Lord's guidance for us.
I am so thankful to everyone here who has, and are responding to MY heartbreak. You guys are helping me more than you know. I thank God for all of you! I don't feel as alone, knowing we have all had our hearts broken. May God richly bless you all.
Things are sure not the same as when I met my wife, with the Lord since 2009, due to lupus complications.
Back when we met, was in 1992 on a newspaper thing called "Introductions". I truly feel that the times we are in, which indicate a very soon rapture of the church, have changed things for the worst. Far more dishonesty, hearts, unknowing of Jesus, which invites a lot of really bad folks into sites such as this one. So many now seem to have unGodly agendas by coming onto dating sites, or maybe so many unresolved issues, they may just "snap" from the stress they are under. I found a printed out email from the lady who hurt me, back when we started around June sometime. She asked me in that email how and when I became a Christian. She truly was the real thing, I firmly believe now, but too many problems, being physically ill and her "husband still" creating problems, all at the same time, is what caused her to just totally lose it with me. Something just snapped. It is sad, not just for me, but for her as well. Meeting someone who will "work out" in my opinion, is just going to become increasingly difficult due to the (end) times we now find ourselves in.
Thank you so much, AngelsandAirrwaves. I am so sorry that you have also been hurt by others. You are so right about it being unbearable.
Thank you so much for your prayers for God to bring healing and grace to me. I have done better today, and may be making some gradual progress. I know too, there may still be a few tears left to fall. You are so right about how it feels, like your heart being stepped on. Thank you so very much for your prayers for me. I will keep you and all of us here in my prayers as well.
Thank you writing here, and so openly sharing your heartache with us, Musician. We are here for you... it may not be much, but I believe we truly care
Many of us can relate to the pain. (I sure can... in fact, I am really fed up and frustrated with men right now... lol)
You're right in that things sure haven't become easier in regards to meeting someone for a relationship. Back in the day, when my parents met and got married (almost 60 years ago..), there just weren't those kinds of mind games and endless hurdles that seem to be there today... People met, were attracted to each other, fell in love, and expressed it. No endless 'what if'., 'maybe there is someone better around the corner', etc..
.. in fact, it only took less than half a year for my parents from their first meeting to the altar.
(of course, abusers, players, cheaters and liars have been around, but most people even among the secular people still wanted to settle down in a real relationship.. Today that seems the be an oddity even among Christians...)
Believing God for His healing balm, and direction for steps ahead. The days are evil.. but God is still faithful.
You're so welcome, NarnianGirl. I just got back from the store while ago, had to have a few things. I no more sat down on my couch, than here came the tears again. Wept my heart out! 😭 It just keeps happening.
I am so thankful for all of you being here for me too. I think it is VERY much and thank all of you for being here for me! I can tell you folks care, and I cherish every one of you and thank God for you all too.
I am so sorry you have had to go through this pain too. I definitely understand. I also lol's about your frustration with men! 😊 Last Wednesday night, after she had turned on me in that Bipolar 180 degree turnaround, I admit, and I know this sounds awful, but I could hardly look at a female on TV. lol! I got over that phase pretty quickly, thankfully, but man, the bitterness. It was as thick as granite!
Yes, sadly, we truly do live in a different world, and not a good one either. You sure said it right about there being no mind games or really heart games either. I feel like I just lost one big one. She was either sincere, but lost it totally after getting her bad news, or never meant it at all.
I sat in there crying while ago asking God "Why did You let this happen to me? What is my lesson here, Dear Father?!" I know there has to be a lesson somewhere, if I could just get it.
That is wonderful about your parents and how well things went. That's so true about all the abusers, and all those others. It truly is rare now, even with us Christian folks.
Amen about God's healing balm, and all that you said. That is right. May God heal your pain too, NarnianGirl. With Him, we will survive and heal.
My heart was taken on the sweetest ride ever by a lady, mentioned in another thread, whom I thought was divorced, but learned that it hadn't gone through yet. She took me to the stars, more than any woman had, since my wife, who passed away in 2009. We had "this" in common, "that" in common, God was showing us "signs" that we were meant to be. We would come on messaging here and chat for 2 1/2 hours every Saturday night. We seemed to grow closer with each passing day and week. Then last Wednesday she changed from Jekyl to Hyde very suddenly. She informed me she had a bad day Monday, her husband (that I didn't know was still her husband) was going to make trouble for her about their divorce. She hit me hard with the most harsh criticisms of emails I had written. I could not believe what I was reading.
I'm still just up and down. This last heart stomping experience has just made other challenges become worse.