I swear I may be the Queen of Bad Dates, but you know its true, you have to laugh, if only so you don't scream!
I have several but this one truly takes top honors:
I had been talking to this guy for quite some time online and he was local, and I had already determined that he was not a convict or on parole or anything like that, so I decide to take a shot at this online dating thing.
Now I believe a Sporting event is a great first date because it gives you a chances to see just how much fun your date really is, it is somewhat relaxed, and even if things aren't great, there is always the game.
With this in mind, we decide to meet for dinner and go to a Hockey game (I am a huge Hockey fan, he had never been to one). Well he was late getting off work, so asked if we could meet at KFC instead. Okay, I am not offended by fast food if the company is good, that is what counts.
So we meet and the first thing I notice is that he does not look like his picture. In fact he looks at least 15 years older than his photo, and significantly heavier, I would say at least 75 pounds.
He is my age but looks a lot older, and we order and I am sitting across from him when I notice he has no teeth. None. I cannot see a single tooth in his mouth. Do you know how hard it is to not stare at someone sitting right across the table from you when you notice something like this. I mean, you keep looking to see if you can see a tooth in there at all, but you don't want to stare and make the person uncomfortable. I mean, Men, I am not proud, up until this point I was okay with the photo being a lie, but I swear ya gotta have dentures in there at least. Before leaving KFC, decision is already made that there will be NO Goodnight Kiss.
So we get through dinner and we each drive over to the hockey game. He is expecting blood on ice and ending up on the ten o'clock news etc, and I have to explain that those expectations are not terribly realistic.
We at least have good seats near our goalie, just up from the handicap section and its not very crowded. A sweet old couple sits down one row to the right of us, so they are between us and the other end of the ice. She has obviously had a stroke, but they are out for night on the town and seem to be enjoying themselves, and I love to see that.
The hockey game, believe it or not is boring. Hockey is never boring. Our offense it cooking, but our goalie just watches four goals slide right in like "oh my, where did that come from". In the mean time I am finding out all sorts of things about my date that I do not want to know, like he lives in an apartment with a female room mate because it is so affordable, and he only works part time. The reason he only works part time is because his psych meds do not allow him to work full time. Wow.
So we are finally in the third period and garsh darn if we can't just lose the game and go home, but no, they have to tie it up and we go into a fourth period.
Things heat up down the ice and things get exciting and everyone stands up including the little old man between us and the far ice, except when he stands up, his sweat pants do not. Oh, yeah, FULL MOON MADNESS right there, in your face.
And the fourth period ends and its still tied so we go into shoot out, which is normally a great hockey game, but this game is seriously bad. We lose in shoot out and finally I get to go home.
Needless to say there was no good night kiss, nor were there any future dates with this gentleman.
Not really a worst date more like a disconnect of internet connections.
On another site, a guy contacted me. The letters are long they are filled with way too much flattery for too short of a contact. Red flags for me.
I'm telling my housemate about this guy-she declares him a weirdo in short order. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.
He tells me he is in contact with another girl on the site who will not quit bugging him and calling him. He is trying to get rid of her but can't seem to quite figure out how. We talk a on a Friday and then Saturday night on the phone. He is more impressed with him than I am. But I am being nice.
Sunday afternoon the housemate comes back from choir practice and asks me the name of the guy. I give it to her and she starts . One of the girls in choir has been talking to the same guy. Now understand he is from St Louis and we are on the opposite side of the state Kansas City/Grandview. I had posted one city she the other as hometowns. The roommie recognized the verbage of the e-mails that the other girl was sharing with her.
I called her that evening after church ( I attend a different church than they did) and we compared letters. Almost word for word the same stuff. Paragraphs inserted with things that were unique to us and then back to the same word for word. It was hysterical.
She told me that he had told her that there was this woman who was calling him all the time and wouldn't leave him alone and he was just being nice.....sound familiar. I had never met her before but we kept marveling what are the odds of this happening.
She called and confronted him. He e-mailed and threatened to sue me for malice. Excuse me? Said we had planned this between the two of us to hurt him. Uhhh you contacted us we didn't reach out to you first. You picked us.
I look back and I see God's hand of protection.
I reported him to the sight and by the end of the night his profile was changed and it now said he was a woman-Say what? By the end of the week he was off the sight completely.
So moral of the story is heed the Spirit's Red Flags. Be nice, stay true to God, he protects His own.
Ah, yes, can you say "Scammer?" Reminds me of another Christian internet site I belong to. I am a paid lifetime member there, but the Scammers run rampant to such an extent it is horrible. Most of the guys that contact me are not even from this country, more less close enough to ever meet.
Well, I guess I was naive, so I will educate anyone that might be as naive as I used to be, but never, ever, ever use your screen name as your password. I mean I know well enough never to give out my personal information and all, but I never thought of this. Well you guessed it (obviously because you are smart enough NOT to use your screen name as your password!), a scammer hijacked my profile. When I was finally able to convince the site administrators that I was who I said I was, I was granted access back to my screen name to find that I was now no longer a forty something year old white woman, but i had dropped fifteen years and turned into a cute little black woman who described herself as a "Nice looking black man"
Tried to warn others on the site via their forum and no one believed me. They all thought I was a scammer running a scam on me (and they weren't very Christian about it either, calling me a liar, and how I should be ashamed, and how this could never happen."
Yes, Sister, I have to agree with you, you never really know WHO you are talking to, but when they start throwing down all the red flags of flattery, distance and moving way to fast, it is probably best to just tell em your not interested and move on, or better yet, just don't answer at all.
But I must admit, I was a very young and cute little black gal. Asked the administrators how it was that someone could change things like their age and ethnicity without raising any red flags with them? Never really did get a decent answer back on that.
Funny, here things are free and I've had one scammer hit on me, but for the most part, all my correspondence has been with men that speak fluent American English, and have real and normal lives, and don't have any family emergencies taking them overseas.
So if you ever see me and I'm looking young and hot and black and about 15 years younger....run, its not me! (and I might not even be female if that is the case!).
I was a late bloomer in life.Do not laugh to hard ladies.I went to a ladies home on my 1st date ok.I was 26.By the time I got to the front door I was wetter than when I take a shower.I was really soaked.It was just dripping off me.Even inside the home of the young lady.That was the last time I dated her.I wonder why?
Can I have some advice?:ROFL::dancingp::laugh:
At least it is better than my brother who mouthed off to a girl and got beat up by her.She was smaller than him.That is funny.:laugh::ROFL::dancingp::yay:She told me all about it.:applause:
I wonder how many other guys get beat up on dates? Hey you have to know my brother.He lifts weights and tries to be tough.So,his getting beat by a date is funny.:party:
. One of the girls in choir has been talking to the same guy. Now understand he is from St Louis and we are on the opposite side of the state Kansas City/Grandview. I had posted one city she the other as hometowns. The roommie recognized the verbage of the e-mails that the other girl was sharing with her.