I won't use the names of the people because I have forgiving them both.
We will guy the guy:Bob
The girl:Martha
Me: Im just me
Bob, martha and I were all really really really best friends.
But bob and martha had a really close relationship always leaving me in the dark.
Martha is a morman.
Bob and I are both baptist.
All three of us God followers.
I was really scared one night and had to escape from someone I was scared of. So Bob Martha and I all had a "best friend sleep over" at Bob's apartment. Yes in the same bed but just sleeping going on.
I was stupid. I had told martha earlier that day that I loved bob. I thought he was the guy for me. Martha never dated bob but they were "close" in ways I figured and guessed, but tried my best to ignore. Martha said she was finished with him. Going back to her old boyfriend. She told me it was fine she supported me in everyway. She would stand behind me on this.
So I told Bob my feelings. Martha the whole time was telling him to not date me. So on so on so on.
Well the night of the sleep over. I wake up with the bed rocking. I know immediately what is going on. I can't move im in so much shock. I want to just throw up and cry. As soon as BOb left the room go get his shower. I got out of my pjs grapped my purse and walked out. Martha asked me where I was going. I didn't say a thing. I walked the front of the apartment complex and called my roommate to come get me.
Thank God for my wonderful roommate. I told her what happened and she was upset too.
She kept saying how could your best friends be soooo low.
Bob I still talk to. He really didn't know that I loved him at the time. He doesn't know what I saw either. And I still love him and I hate that. I hate that I love a guy that would do something so vile. I want to make him a better person that's why Im sticking around. One of my many missions from God I believe.
Martha does know what I saw. She left us both. Im glad too.She is now pregnate at a very very young age. Having to drop out of school and get married. I don't feel sorry for her.
Is that a bad thing? Am I a bad person for trusting someone so much than saying something like Im not sorry for her?
She did this to herself. She knew the results of her actions.
Still to this day. Im surprised a best friend could do that to me.
I have forgivin her for what she did.
Forgivin Bob too.
I wish her all the best luck in her life she made for herself.
I don't want someone in my life like her ever again. I can't fix her.
dear lauren, young lady , it will do you good to remember not to get in any bed that a member of the opposite sex is in unless youre married to them.. no matter the cuircumstances.. secondly bob is as guilty as martha. he knew you were there and would prolly wake up and know his sin was going on with you right there.. so im sure he also knows you were awake.. it really dont matter whether he knows or not.. as the bible tells us not to hang around with a brother or a sister who is sexually immoral.. and youre not going by rumour or gossip here. but yet firsthand knowlege..
1 corinthians 5:11 But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner- not even to eat with such a person.
12 For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? 13 But those who are outside God judges. Therefore "put away from yourselves the evil person."
so my advice is forgive them both.. but stay away from them both as they were both guilty.. you can forgive them both but yet still remember they both thought so little of you that they did what they did right there in front of you..
i also pray that you will find the forgiveness in your heart.. and your pain will be lessened.
I don't know how any real christian could allow herself to be part of a co-ed sleepover
my words here
ya know you say we are to be held accountable.. i agree.
this was not right to say to your sister.. to question her integrity as to her really being a chrstian ... lots of really really great christians have made mistakes before.probably you yourself even.. i know i have.. that didnt change her status of salvation, nor yours or mine.. unless you blasphamied the HOLY SPIRIT as thats the one sin wont be forgiven.. you could of said and made your point known ,how could you have allowed yourself to be part of a co ed sleepover? that would of been ok.. but to say i dont know how any real christian ..... is not.. she didnt have sex. she just made a bad decision.. so i would appreciate it if you didnt question her as being a real christian.. thanks
Does anybody here actually talk like a normal person instead of a full-blown Christian goober who feels the need to quote 5 pieces of scripture in every response they make?
I get seriously tired of seeing all this "high and mighty" egotistical attitude communicated as though the posters are the keepers of absolute biblical truth.
I'm a blunt person who tells it like it is. If your feelings are hurt, it's called "tough love".
I'm not apologizing for what I said. Getting into bed with another member of the opposite sex is not appropriate behavior for anyone who calls themselves a Christian. It's a very stupid thing to do that has enormous potential to lead to devastating consequences.
However, don't take that as me saying you're a stupid person by any means. We all make mistakes. But it seemed to me more like you were looking to justify your actions and saying it was "no big deal" rather than recognize the danger and sinfulness you were putting yourself in.
You should not have been in bed with a member of the opposite sex. None of this stuff would have happened if you weren't.
These are not people you should be hanging around, and they're only going to continue to deceive and hurt you.
dear guitar, to question anyone elses salvation for one mistake is just not right. for you to imply that she wasnt a true christian because she is young and made a young persons mistake.. that wont right..
you dont know her and you have no way of judging her righteously.. i do like your passion to speak up for what you percieve to be wrong doings.. thats a good trait. just be particular how you question others salvation.. as when you point one finger at another there will always be more pointing back at you..
It was not my intention to actually call into question whether or not she is a Christian--just make her think about what she's doing/done and what it says about her.
I'm simply pointing out the fact that this is not justifiable behavior for a Christian to exhibit. I could quote scripture til the cows come home about this, but I don't feel the need.
From what I've observed, she's trying to excuse herself from it rather than accept responsibility for the mistake, and quite frankly when I see people posting about their romantic lives (and appearing as thought they want sympathy hand-outs for it) I think they're the ones that need "tough love".
I harbor no ill will against you, LaurenBrooke888. Your decisions are your own to make. Unfortunately, I see WAY too big of a move in worldwide Christianity to attempt to justify ungodly behavior (and then people backing it up with "don't judge me") which seems to give them a license to do whatever they want and that nobody can say otherwise.
If you want me to get down on your level and admit something, I've been in a bed with more than one girl over the course of my life. Thing is, I do not and am not attempting to justify that. I've recognized it for being wrong and have decided with my next relationships not to fall victim to the same trap.
Whether we have sex or not (and if you're wondering, no, I haven't) it's about avoiding the "appearance of evil". God does not intend for us to be in bed with anyone except our spouse. (Or maybe a parent, when we're younger).
When we give council as Christians it is supposed to be Biblical and in love, not of our own opinion. That is why we give scriptures for them to consider, it is what God says about their situation and how He judges it that we are trying to show them through the verses that we give. It is not about being holier than thou, we are all sinners saved by the grace of God. Yet we should no longer practice sin habitually.
Guitar, you are very outspoken in your faith and I admire that, but with age and experience you will learn that advise given with love is easier to accept and act upon. You do not have to do the convicting, give your advise in love with the appropriate scriptures to back it up and God will convict and bring them to repentance.
I will be as you call it a Christian goober and give you a couple of verses to consider before you give anymore advise to someone who is hurting.
1 Corinthians 13:1-4
Though I speak with the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though O bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.
Pro 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
and before my comments get distracted by the picture: Theres a story behind it - feel free to read the profile. Don't let it distract you from what follows.
First of all to Guitar: You are awesome to God. He has given you a gift that is rare in today's age of "compromise" . God has and will use you to HIS glory. He is patient and kind because HE is love...keep walking with the King!:glow:
To Lydia: My dear sister, YOU are awesome to God. He has given you the gifts of temperance and reason. He will continue to use you to minister to the church body lending your experience and wisdom to edify the body of Christ at large. HE is wisdom. Keep on keepin' on!:yay:
Cattleman: You are awesome to God for you recognize the importance of tenderness in reproach and rebuff. A sheep will run away from a harsh shepard, but will allow themselves to become "a part" of the fold when treated as a part of the fold. Let it grow in you for it is the seed God has planted in you!
To you, beloved of Christ: Let not your heart be troubled. I would encourage you to watch for the post I will be making regarding all of the things each of these wonderful people have shared with you in love. I am not a christian goober, but a soldier in my Lords army. His servant. My sword, my shield and buckler is the Word of God - it lives in my heart. I promise you, this upcoming post will absolutely change you if you are willing to hear what God has for you in this situation.
For now may I say only this: 1. Know that you are valuable...enough for God to send His ONLY son to die in your place. Why? Because HE sees (present) something in you that you do not see in yourself. Understand your self worth and value to a loving God who counted each of us worthy when we all deserved death. Despite all the evil in the world, all the mistakes each of us has made - are guily of: The only judge continually slams the gavel down and says, "Not guilty, not guilty, not guilty."
2. Understand why you are not guilty: IF (key word here)you have accepted Christ into your heart and belong to HIM - it is HIS blood that now courses through your veins and you are NOW the righteousness of God in Christ. God deems you not guilty because he cannot find Himself guilty...because HE that was without sin became sin that we might be made the righteousness of Christ in God. HIS grace is sufficient!
3.However (here is the tricky part for the human mind) Once you have accepted Christ as your saviour and belong to the body at large it is your obligation and job to put on the whole armor of Christ so as not to bring a reproach upon HIS name and our family of faith. How do you put on the whole armor of Christ? First: Study the Word - to show yourself approved to understand God's plan for your life - its in HIS word and not the mystery christians like to make it. Gods will is his word. Read it. Know it. A baby cannot be born into this natural world and not mature - crawl, walk etc unless that baby is somehow impaired. Spiritually you need to mature as welll to understand what it means to PROUDLY represent Christ. You are the only Christ (on earth) that some will ever see...therefore the word will teach you not only how to forsake the appearance of evil/wrongdoing, (Christ would never appear that way would He?) but you will also learn to live your life FAR ABOVE and BEYOND the limits you set for yourself - you will find yourself worthy of a man who will HONOR the GOD in you and not treat you like junk - cause "God don't make no junk"! You will understand the sadness of the human condition that would allow your female friend to be so desperate to cheat herself so cheaply and in the process betray your trust. REMEMBER: EACH AND EVERY SITUATION YOU FIND YOURSELF IN IN THIS LIFE IS REALLY NEVER ABOUT YOU!!!!! What? ITS REALLY ABOUT THE GOD IN YOU- THAT YOU PROFESS AND THE WORLD EXPECTS TO SEE and GODS OWN REFLECTION THAT HE EXPECTS TO SEE IN EACH OF US.
I hope I used the word in such a manner as not to be termed a christian goober and trust that I have helped in some small way. If so, God be glorified. Watch for the dating post soon!
Be encouraged in the God who counted you worthy and expects you to reach new heights in him.
PS: The secret - Seek ye FIRST the kingdom of God and HIS righteousness and all these things (husband, friends...) will be added to you. Selah!
