Thread: Dating a married person that is separated and or in process of divorce.... need opinions on this subject. Honest responses please.
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Dating a married person that is separated and or in process of divorce.... need opinions on this subject. Honest responses please.
Posted : 25 Feb, 2009 06:15 PM
I just need to know what other peoples opinion on this subject is. I personally am legally still married, we are separated and are in the process of a divorce. What are some of your opinions on dating a married man or woman in this situation. If the man or woman says to the other their marriage is over, are your free to start dating? Or do your have to wait until your divorce is final?
Dating a married person that is separated and or in process of divorce.... need opinions on this subject. Honest responses please.
Posted : 29 Apr, 2014 10:01 AM
WOW! EXCELLENT advice Mike! I couldn't have said it better. And hopefully the original poster saw it - coming from a MAN, it means a lot too! I really can't say much else - I appreciate your answer and I am encouraged to hear there are still men out there that feel this way.
Dating a married person that is separated and or in process of divorce.... need opinions on this subject. Honest responses please.
Posted : 29 Apr, 2014 10:09 AM
:ROFL:
:applause:
:yay:
oh my! love it!
and ladies, he's concerned about his spelling and grammar and all THAT! Ladies? I hope you are paying attention here! Sounds like an educated man - who loves God and has the right idea about relationships................
Dating a married person that is separated and or in process of divorce.... need opinions on this subject. Honest responses please.
Posted : 29 Apr, 2014 10:12 AM
and a great 2 cents it is Sweetheart!
I can say from experience it is NOT a good idea..... not if they SAY they are getting divorced, not if they are already separated, not even if they have already begun proceedings.
Trust me - the odds are stacked HEAVILY against anyone in such situations. And like MLTHOMAS said, there is healing to be had! My ex was engaged 30 days after our court date and married within 2 months of THAT! ---- ahem, he's on #5!
Dating a married person that is separated and or in process of divorce.... need opinions on this subject. Honest responses please.
Posted : 29 Apr, 2014 11:03 AM
and a great 2 cents it is Sweetheart!
I can say from experience it is NOT a good idea..... not if they SAY they are getting divorced, not if they are already separated, not even if they have already begun proceedings.
Trust me - the odds are stacked HEAVILY against anyone in such situations. And like MLTHOMAS said, there is healing to be had! My ex was engaged 30 days after our court date and married within 2 months of THAT! ---- ahem, he's on #5!
Dating a married person that is separated and or in process of divorce.... need opinions on this subject. Honest responses please.
Posted : 3 Dec, 2016 11:22 PM
People who truly love God/Christ and who profess or imply in any way that they are Christians, that is, obedient disciples of Jesus who daily study His teaching commands (and they are all at least implicit COMMANDS addressed to each of us , hard as that word "command"" may be on the ears of many of us "Americans"), ought to know very well what Jesus has taught concerning the matter of divorce and remarriage:
Jesus very clearly teaches us about the issues of marrying and remarrying in the Gospel of St. Matthew, �It was said also, �Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement�: but I say to you, that every one that puts away his wife, saving (or except in the case of or) for the cause of fornication (that is, infidelity), makes her an adulteress: and whosoever shall marry her when she is put away commits adultery.� Matthew 5:31, 32
Very relevant to the above were the verses which preceded it and so which demonstrates something of a consistent theme of the need to avoid that which can cause the loss of your eternal salvation, which, by the way, is just one example of Scripture which disproves the false and non-Biblical teaching which says �once saved always saved�: It is a teaching which leaves people thinking that they can just go out and commit any sin that they want but that they are somehow automatically �saved� and forgiven whether they repent of it or not: (How little different is that from the way of many Catholics who abuse the sacrament of confession by consciously sinning and thinking they can just go and confess it and be done with all future sins.)
�And if your right eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out, and cast it from yourself: for it is profitable (or better) for you that one of your members should perish, and not your whole body be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble (that is, causes you to be tempted and to sin), cut it off, and cast it from you: for it is profitable (or preferable) for you that one of your members should perish, and not your whole body go into hell.� Matthew 5:29, 30; 1st Corinthians 6:9, 10
In other words, if anything in God�s good creation, such as one�s body parts, causes you to be sinful, it is best that you get it away from you: Not to literally cut off or pluck out something from your body but to get and keep it out of your life: This could of course apply to a spouse who keeps impregnating his wife and who then forces her to get abortions for each child they conceive.
But in the more general sense as relating to those who are already divorced, one must avoid being damned (1st Corinthians 6:9, 10) as an adulterous man or woman by avoiding any source of temptation to remarry, such as a personals site, where really very few have even obtained valid annulments.
As for those of you who have deep-seated, unrepented, uncharitable suspicions (which you need to �pluck out� of your hearts and minds) about anything any Catholic (such as myself) has to say or write: Consider that while there are indeed many matters regarding the ministry of the Roman/Catholic clergy which need to be corrected, if you claim to believe in God�s Word as something you are meant to obey, and if you truly care for the salvation of people whom you perceive as being false Christians (which is indeed truly the case for most of my fellow �Catholics� owing to the centuries- long negligence of our Roman/American clergy who until only recent decades never counseled us to daily access, study, discern and live by God�s Word), then you must integrate at least one more specifically relevant Scriptural passage within your thinking and outlook as criteria for determining the validity of my �interpretations� of the Word as provided above:
and you must do this at least for the sake of spiritually poor, Scripturally illiterate �Catholic� sinners who really don�t know His teachings, and who can�t really be anything but ignorant of Jesus, as I have found to be the case through the scandalously uncharitable behavior of both clergy and laity whom I have known):
And so that very simple passage to be used as a guideline for discernment is this: �-prove all things; hold fast (to) that which is good�, 1st Thessalonians 5:21: In other words,
(1) employ other guidelines from God�s Word as your means to support or disprove what some claim is the meaning or this or that verse in the Bible or anything else in one�s earthly life, the value of which meaning may or may not be relevant (or important and applicable or relating) to the personal and salvific needs of the disciple of Jesus:
(2) Using several (perhaps three) other verses in the Bible which can be found to be truly relevant to one another and related Scriptures, triangulate them to prove or disprove the teaching which has been an issue of confusion or ignorance. And
(3) continue to employ those criteria for discernment and the work of "proving".
And let this be clear as well: A truly Christian Catholic whose universality characteristics distinguish him from the worldly wicked (unlike what is foreshadowed in 2nd Thessalonians 7:14 about God�s people today) as a result of many years of personal, �independent� Bible studies (such as I began fifty years ago of my readings of Dr. Billy Graham�s daily newspaper columns) IS NOT a person about whom you should say �Oh, he�s Catholic and you know all those Catholics are demon possessed!�
For if you do falsely accuse and suspect such a person as being such you are risking your own coming very close to if not actually perpetrating what Jesus said was the unpardonable sin, and which His enemies committed when they accused Him of being possessed and motivated not by the Spirit and truth of God but by the devil and its lie, and so which is nothing other than blasphemy against the Holy Spirit in a person�s life who is motivated by the Holy Spirit to study and expound upon and strive to live in accord with God�s Word. (Matthew 12:31)
So beware and don�t let your prejudicial lovelessness and suspicious fears of others nurture in you the seeds of serious and unpardonable sin! Indeed, learn to understand the sins of others as symptoms of their spiritual needs for teaching, forgiveness, repentance, and the gifts of the Holy Spirit as means to minister to others, etc.
Returning to our initial subject of divorce, the issue and blame for the millions of divorces and broken homes of Catholics in this nation alone is to be laid at the feet of the Roman/American clergy who failed to edify, exhort and the laity with counsel to DAILY study the Word themselves so as to be constantly conscious of the Lord�s teaching and will concerning, for example, divorce:
Those faulty shepherds similarly failed to exhort us to study the Word as a means to building our own character as Christians whose �peculiar�, moral distinctiveness would have enabled millions of men and women to employ God�s guidelines as means to discern and identify their prospective spouses as either worthy or unworthy of Christian vows of holy matrimony.
(I exposition these things in my book �The Silence of the Shepherds: The Evidence and the Remedy�, completely readable at no charge at evangelart.com)
I very deeply lament seeing on these personals sites literally hundreds of thousands of divorced and separated women (probably matched by divorced, etc men on the men�s profiles) who are deliberating, planning and acting toward remarriage and who are either oblivious to and ignorant of Jesus� teaching about divorce and to also Scriptures which indicate that adulterers do not inherit the kingdom of God, they go to hell:
In view of the current signs of the times in which we live it is all too evident that America (and of the USA�s bad influence, the rest of the world) has become an apocalyptic �Babylon� typifying �An evil and adulterous generation seeks after a sign; and there shall no sign be given it but the sign of Jonah the prophet,� (Matthew 12:39) which foreshadowed in our own time what will consist of the Three Days of Darkness: And this will come as a direct consequence and culmination of the neglect and silence of the Shepherds who, as St. Peter�s successors, have utterly failed to obey Jesus� command to �feed My sheep and lambs�. (John 21:15-17) And so now all that can be heard is the global clamor and lonely lament of millions of divorced and separated men and women, to say nothing of their neglected and misled children. (I guess I should get my own blog, but I still don't have the means to make it known toward influencing people to read it.)
Dating a married person that is separated and or in process of divorce.... need opinions on this subject. Honest responses please.
Posted : 7 Feb, 2017 09:32 PM
I haven't read the other replies and maybe someone has sent you a reply similar to what I am about to write here and send to you:
First, you speak of opinions: If you are on this presumably Christian site I should anticipate that you do not want opinions but Truth, the Truth and guidelines according to Jesus Christ: According to His teaching you will not be able to marry again if you are a divorced man or woman claiming to be a disciple of Jesus, not unless your spouse dies. There is a permanent or lifelong spiritual bond between you and your spouse that cannot be broken or declared null except in the case that one of you have been unfaithful and have committed adultery with another man or woman. Here is what Jesus says on the matter: (This concerns the situation of the woman):
"But I say to you, That whoever shall put away (divorce) his wife, saving(or "except") for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit ADULTERY: and whoever shall marry her that is divorced commits ADULTERY." Matthew 5:28
He says much the same thing a few verses further along, as if to emphasize the TRUTH of the matter: (This concerns the case of the man):
"And I say to you, Whoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, commits ADULTERY: and whoso marries her which is put away doth commit ADULTERY.
Matthew 19:9
Adultery is already forbidden as the Seventh Commandment of the Ten Commandments. In the New Testaments it is written
"Know you not(or "Don't you know?") that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor ADULTERERS, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God." 1st Corinthians 6:9, 10, i.e. adulterous people DO NOT GO TO HEAVEN, and there is only one other alternative for where they will spend eternity, and its not Purgatory! (See 1st Corinthians 3:11-17 for Biblical validation of the state of purgation of sins not repented of prior to death in the case of a Christian.)
It is bad and sad to see that this "Christian" site condones, aids abets and accommodates such adultery inasmuch as it accepts profiles from men and women who are both divorced (whose spouses are still living) and separated, and in this day and age you can be pretty sure the vast majority of them haven't had their "marriages" annulled nor did their spouses cheat on them, and then, concerning the times in which we live maybe they DID!) and this site is therefore deceiving everyone who places their profile here by letting people think that its OK to get married after one is divorced even if one's spouse is still living. (A divorced person whose spouse dies at some later point is then free to marry, of course, for then one will be a widow or widower.)
If you are "Catholic" its sadly also typical that you do not know these things since the "Catholic" clergy have for centuries (only up till the past 30 or so years) failed to counsel their parishioners to DAILY study the Bible and to live by it, whereas they have failed to balance the grace sustaining sacraments with the daily study of God's Word.
As St. Jerome said many centuries ago, "Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ." So that many many "Catholics" fail to recognize Christ in Holy Communion and commit sacrilege in receiving Him with UN-repented sins on their consciences, so that some of them get sick and others die from committing such sacrilege. St. Paul says this in 1st Corinthians 11:29-30 about that: "For he that eats and drinks unworthily, eats and drinks damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body.For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep." (which in Biblical terms means "they died.") And so the Body and Blood of Jesus is REALLY Himself in the Blessed Sacrament, but all too many have been allowed for all too long to remain blind to Him of their lack of knowledge of His words.
So there is mere "opinion" which the unbeliever takes or leaves, but the Christian is morally obliged to study and live by the Truth of Christ and His words. And you cannot deceive God: One cannot find him or herself "trapped" in a difficult marriage and think that can get "off the hook" if he or she simply gets the other to commit fornication with someone in order to be justified in divorcing and marrying again in the sight of God: He sees our motives.
Sadly, scandalously the plethora of divorces which have served to destroy this nation has been caused mostly by the failure of the clergy to teach us to study the Word daily, again, and they have dis-served us even worse than the Israelite priests and shepherds failed the Israelites in the Old Testament. They evidently learned nothing from their seminary studies of God's Word (if indeed they really did study the Word), and so they failed to feed Jesus' sheep and lambs - US! - with that Word, choosing instead to overemphasize the reception of Holy Communion since they have not balanced our awareness of the need for the Sacrament with the need for God's Word as the criteria and knowledge of His Word, will and truth
Even now they are saying nothing about the immorality of accepting RFD ID microchips in the backs of our right hands or in our foreheads, as are prophesied as the mark of the beast, the super computer in Geneva Switzerland: All it will take for us to become obliged by a future "government" to accept the chip is for some sort of global catastrophe to occur. And the more laid back, apathetic and comfortable you are in your materialistic comfort zone the less likely you will want to hear or believe in these things.
And so millions of "Church people" are committing sacrilege by unworthily receiving Jesus in a state of serious sin and for lack of the Word as "a lamp to our feet and a light to our path" (Psalm 119:105 ) millions are stumbling around in the spiritual darkness and confusion of this world owing to "The Silence of the Shepherds" which is the title of the book I have written on the matter, subtitled :The Evidence and the Remedy".
However, I have drawn the conclusion that this is all too little too late to make a difference in our nation to turn the tsunamic tide of error now overwhelming us and which may well be manifest as a gigantic tidal wave from an asteroid crashing into the Atlantic... and the Bible predicts two such heavenly bodies' doing just that.
And so if you make it through to the end of most of the apocalyptic events you might just also survive the long prophesied Three Days of Darkness during which all the wicked in the world will die, incinerated by a fire as it is indicated in the book of the prophet Malachi, chapter 4, verses 1-3, (last OT book before Matthew), in the aftermath of which the survivors will prove to be the "meek (who) will inherit the earth" (as Jesus said and as the Psalmist verifies in Psalm 37:11, tying such verses and predictions together), and most of the survivors will be women owing to most men being wicked.
So if you choose to divorce NOW that is what you have to hope for, the TDD aftermath. Browse for it on the net, especially most of the Three Days Darkness Youtube videos on the subject, and study the ways to prepare both spiritually and physically. I'm also writing a book on the TDD, but I feel that time is running out... so start studying the Word NOW, especially Jesus' teaching commands in the NT (not just the Ten Commandments) and prepare for what is to come. May God bless you with the wisdom to make the right choices... and to live by God's truth, not the opinions of unbelievers!
