Author	Thread: The Demerit System
Admin	The Demerit System Posted : 30 Jan, 2011 06:44 PM The Female Demerit System In the world of marriage and romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system: SIMPLE DUTIES You make the bed (+1) You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0) You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1) You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5) You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1) You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0) You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5) You pummel it with iron rod (+10) It's her pet (-20) SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS You stay by her side the entire party (0) You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend (-2) Named Tina (-10) Tina is a dancer (-20) Tina has had �cosmetic surgery� (-80) HER BIRTHDAY You take her out to dinner (+2) You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3) Okay, it's a sports bar (-2) And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3) It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10) A NIGHT OUT You take her to a movie (+1) You take her to a movie she likes (+3) You take her to a movie you hate (+6) You take her to a movie you like (-2) It's called 'Death Cop' (-3) You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15) YOUR PHYSIQUE You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15) You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10) You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30) You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000) THE BIG QUESTION She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what) You hesitate in responding (-10) You reply, "Where?" (-35) Any other response (-20) COMMUNICATION When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0) You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50) You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500) She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000) Post Reply
View Profile History	The Demerit System Posted : 30 Jan, 2011 06:46 PM The majority of these are for married folk, but they're still funny (and true!) Post Reply
View Profile History	The Demerit System Posted : 30 Jan, 2011 07:17 PM I'll speak for Saved3 here, and say ..... Posting this on CDFF (-100pts) Hahaha!! :nahnah::nahnah::ROFL::ROFL: Post Reply
View Profile History	The Demerit System Posted : 30 Jan, 2011 07:26 PM :ROFL: Ugh Oh!:excited: I wonder how crow tastes....... Post Reply
View Profile History	The Demerit System Posted : 30 Jan, 2011 08:09 PM Too Browndgirl... (+5,000,000) for posting that on my behalf!:laugh: Edw... I think you need to be doing A LOT of this :prayingm: right about now... No its not --> HAPPY WIFE = HAPPY LIFE (or maybe it is...) :ROFL::ROFL::ROFL: Post Reply
View Profile History	The Demerit System Posted : 30 Jan, 2011 08:12 PM :prayingm::prayingm::prayingm::prayingm::prayingm::prayingm::prayingm::prayingm::prayingm::prayingm::prayingm::prayingm::prayingm::prayingm::prayingm::prayingm::prayingm: Am I gonna need this too:nicenurse: Post Reply
View Profile History	The Demerit System Posted : 30 Jan, 2011 08:24 PM For the:ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::laugh::laugh: (+Priceless)! Post Reply
View Profile History	The Demerit System Posted : 30 Jan, 2011 08:26 PM Nope... Because I :hearts: you! Babe you have a way of making me :ROFL:! You are such a blessing in my life. Thank you for :boxing: for my honor. You are a man of moral integrity. I look forward with :yay: :applause: for our future together. I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU WITH MY WHOLE HEART!!! Post Reply
View Profile History	The Demerit System Posted : 30 Jan, 2011 08:31 PM Good post mrwiseguy. :glow: Post Reply
View Profile History	The Demerit System Posted : 30 Jan, 2011 09:07 PM For making forum friends p u ke with mushy talk -400 For making forum friends laugh out loud +400:ROFL::ROFL: Saved you were too easy on him! I was enjoying watching him squirm in the doghouse, now that is priceless!:dancingp: Post Reply
View Profile History	The Demerit System Posted : 30 Jan, 2011 09:50 PM No problem Saved! @1Babygirl,:ROFL::ROFL::ROFL: Post Reply

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