Author	Thread: The man who loved baked beans
Admin	The man who loved baked beans Posted : 8 Sep, 2007 08:08 PM Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Shortly after that they were married. A few months later, on his birthday and on the way home from work, his car broke down. Since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk home. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. It was, after all, his birthday. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had 3 extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he putt-putted. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe. His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peak. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and away she went to answer the phone. While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and RRIIPPP !!! It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon winner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead. With his blindfold still on, when he heard the phone farewells he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, "SURPRISE!!!" To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party. Post Reply
View Profile History	The man who loved baked beans Posted : 9 Sep, 2007 06:35 PM I thought this discussion was to be about actual dating experiences not comical stories. I'm confused??? Precious2Him Post Reply
View Profile History	The man who loved baked beans Posted : 11 Sep, 2007 03:34 PM re: baked bean story. I was in service, and spent six years at sea. My job was in Combat Information Center, I was a radarman. Our area was closed, sort of dark, and lots of colored lights, and you couldn't hardly move but what you would run into another man. We were very, very insistent that anyone working there be absoutely clean, wear clean clothing, etc. Four hours with someone in close quarters with body odor was terrible. At least once a week, we would have beans, and for the next twelve hours or so of watches, we were treated.... Several men always had to be told to go easy on the food, because some constitutions were more aggressive than others... I think you story was well told, and the punch line was excellent! I am a writer, and this is my kind of fodder. Thanks. Gene the Gentle Viking. Post Reply
View Profile History	The man who loved baked beans Posted : 11 Sep, 2007 03:42 PM OK, you want an actual dating story? I made a Texas date through another site, and based on the pictures that I had to look at, thought I was going to meet a woman that appeared to be about 50. Since I look that way, it was fair, and I had every anticipation that this would be a fun time. She drove 30 minutes to the site, I drove 1 1/2 hours. I sat there in the restaurant at the counter, drinking coffee and watching the door with 15 minutes to spare. Time came and passed, and still no date. Finally at 15 minutes past the date time, I took my coffee and headed for a booth... I was hungry and thought I had been stood up. As I passed through the tables to get to a window booth, this voice called out, Hey Gene! I looked around and didn't see anyone that I knew... She called again, and I looked and saw a woman who looked like my great grandmother. Short date, her mind and conversation matched the view. Why do women -- and men too, I am sure -- do that when they know that sooner or later you will meet? I was gracious, but clearly disappointed. I bought the meal and left after about an hour. Gene the gentle Viking. Post Reply
View Profile History	The man who loved baked beans Posted : 11 Sep, 2007 06:29 PM :ROFL: That was hilarious! Thanks for the story! :laugh: Post Reply
View Profile History	The man who loved baked beans Posted : 11 Sep, 2007 07:55 PM Gene, I'm surprised you even answered when the woman called out. Actually, I'm not all that surprised, as it was the "Christian" thing to do. At least the only thing you lost was some time, the cost of the dinner, and maybe a little respect for "older" women. Disappointing for you, tho. I guess life isn't always fair. But, honesty still pays off, in the long run. I wonder how old her picture was! MusicLady P.S. I make great baked beans! :-) Post Reply
View Profile History	The man who loved baked beans Posted : 11 Sep, 2007 08:01 PM What a commodian!!! Always people around to enjoy good bathroom humor!! Post Reply
View Profile History	The man who loved baked beans Posted : 12 Sep, 2007 01:52 PM That was really funny. She might have been in her 70's or so. That is too funny. Post Reply
101heartbeats View Profile History	The man who loved baked beans Posted : 4 Nov, 2007 08:58 PM HILARIOUS!!! Post Reply
jackien View Profile History	The man who loved baked beans Posted : 26 Jan, 2008 10:05 AM Way too funny!! Very well written, I couldn't stop !! :) :ROFL: Lady, "precioustohim" have a sense of humor..... Post Reply
ChristinaDK View Profile History	The man who loved baked beans Posted : 26 Feb, 2008 03:03 PM Well, I actually found my other half on this site and travelled half way across the globe to see him. We had a fantastic time on our first (and other) date(s). He actually took me ice-skating, and it was a blast! Good luck to you guys!! Post Reply

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