Just wanted to share this thought from a brother in our Church...
Many young Christians ask the question, "How far should I go on a date?" The Bible actually don't give the precedence on dating at all, so in general it is best to minimize that. Look at the example of Isaac and Rebekah. Here are some Biblical principles that will help you to decide what is appropriate behavior on a date.:
I. Christians should only date other Christians.
Although it is fine for Christians to have non-Christian friends, those who are especially close to our heart should be mature believers who are seeking to follow Christ with their lives.
"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" (2 Cor.6:14)
This is NOT a small matter as this was what brought about the great displeasure of God upon His people to where He judged them as shown in the picture of the O.T.! And this was what brought the downfall of God's people by Balaam's suggestion to Balak.
II. Guard your heart.
The Bible tells us to be very careful about giving our affections, because our heart influences everything else in our life.
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (Prov.4:23)
We need to be aware that sin is first committed in the heart; thus we should not even entertain the thought! "Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an action and you reap a destiny."
Matt 5:28 says , " But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
III. Avoid Situations of Temptations
I Cor.6:18 says to "flee from sexual immorality." 2 Tim 2:22 1 Thes 5:22. We cannot do this if we are tempting ourselves through carelessness.
IV. What kind of reputation does my potential date have?
When you accept a date you are essentially saying, "My values are the same as your values" That in itself can put you in a position you may regret later. Remember 1 Cor 15:33, " Bad company corrupts good character."
V. Are you going to the right kind of place and setting for a date?
Many good intentions have been forgotten because the temptation and opportunity were too great. Based on the principles of 1 Thes. 5:22, we need to practice the following:
1. Always go with a chaperon on a date.
2. Am I doing anything to encourage sexual desire?
Don't engage in any impure contact that is sexually motivated, such as petting. Best to avoid any physical contact at all.1 Cor.7:1"...It is good for a man NOT to touch a woman."
VI. What is True Love?
No such thing as love on 1st sight...that is lust on 1st sight. 1 Cor.13:4-7 defines real love.Ask yourself these questions:
* Are you patient?
* Are you kind to each other?
* Are you never envious of each other?
* Do you never boast to or about each other?
* Is your relationship characterized by humility? Opposite of which is pride. One manifestation of pride is asserting your ways regardless of consequences.
* Are you not self-seeking?
* Are you not easily angered with each other?
* Do you keep no record of wrongs?
* Are you truthful with each other?
* Do you protect each other? This includes protecting the virginity of each other till marriage.
* Are you self-sacrificial and self-denying?
* Love is unconditional
If you answered "yes" to the above questions, then 1 Corinthians 13 says that you truly have a loving relationship. If you answered "no" to any above questions, then it is not true love but lust.
True love is not instant but grows over time. People can even learn to love their pet dog or cat over time, all the more true love for a person is developed over time. That is also why 1st on the list above is "patient".
Sister I admire your reaching out to others to help them in a walk with Christ that honors HIM! I thank you for doing that. It shows me you have a servants heart and you want to help others and you like to teach as well. These are all good! But we must be rightly dividing the word of God and what he is saying.
I just wanted to add that 1 corinth 13 isnt addressing people who are dating but it is a teaching from Paul to all people on LOVE. Paul had just taught on the spiritual gifts in 12 but he goes on to explain that love is preeminent to the gifts of the spirit
Also,in the list you listed I have to disagree with some on the list. Only because I know for a fact that for instance when I get angry at someone that I love it doesnt mean I am lusting after them!!
WE as children of Yahwah are indeed FALLIBLE! We are flawed and saved by grace. We will make mistakes. I think the thing to focus on when dating someone is to never ever allow yourselves to be in a situation where either can be tempted into fulfilling the fleshly desires whether it be touching or even looking upon each other in a way that is provocative.. Its important to remain pure of heart in our intentions . Relationships within the christian faith should always focus on God first and friendship second! Sowing towards the spirit and not the flesh is always a good thing!!
Gods grace to you
13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love
Their formula worked for both of them... Thank God for that! Though that might not work at this day and age. The foundation of their relationship left me with questions somehow. Was Rebekah interested in Isaac personally or she was taken by the fancy gifts that the servant had and gave to everyone in her family?
Isaac didn't invest time in trying to get to know Rebekah any better, he saw her and taken her as his wife and had sex at first site. That will surely not work at this day and age.
Few years latter the very same Rebekah stirs betrayal and fight between her sons. For what reason did she do that other than physical wealth that was gonna be gain by Jacob after betraying Esau? The same material things that brought Rebekah here were the very cause of division between her two sons. Can a sane mother do that really?
Though it was all part of God's plan. Hence I say that their formula may have worked for them but may not work in our time today.
Having said the above, I agree with HiddeninHim that this is surely a great post, had a lot to learn from in. Thank you for posting!!
Customs in the day of abraham are not at all what is expected of things in the world we live in now amongst followers of Christ. It was another time and culture. Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for his son isaac. Back then it was custom to provide many gifts (dowry)of significant value and the dowry concluded the engagement.
We are under the law of the land now to legally be married ie a marriage certificate. God has told us to follow such laws so therefore having sex out of marriage is called fornication and it is a sin according to Gods word. I hope this clears that up!
Gods grace to you!!
Verses 53, 54. - And the servant brought forth jewels - literally, vessels (σκεύη, LXX.), the idea being that of things finished or completed; from כָּלָה, to finish (cf. Genesis 31:37; Genesis 45:20) - of silver, and jewels (or vessels) of gold, and raiment, - covering garments, e.g. the outer robes of Orientals (Genesis 20:11, 12, 13, 15; Genesis 41:42); especially precious ones (1 Kings 22:10) - and gave them to Rebekah - as betrothal presents, which are absolutely essential, and usually given with much ceremony before witnesses (vide 'Land and Book,' p. 593). He gave also to her brother and to her mother (here mentioned for the first time) precious things, מִגְדָּנֹת from מֶגֶד precious, occurring only elsewhere in 2 Chronicles 21:3 and Ezekiel 1:6; both times as here, in connection with gold and silver - probably describes valuable articles in general. And (having thus formally concluded the engagement) they did eat and drink, - i.e. partook of the victims which had been set before them at an earlier stage (ver. 33) - he and the men that were with him, and tarried all night; - literally, and passed the night (cf. Genesis 19:2; Genesis 24:25) - and they rose up in the morning (indicative of alacrity and zeal), and he said, Send me away unto my master - being impatient to report to Abraham the success of his expedition.
Rebekka saw HER well being (a normal and average preference women (and also men) seek these days).
No matter it was CONVENIENCE, she had the chaperons and the time TO GO BACK if sha had wanted... How many would travel to see the other one as Rebekka did? (Just Monica, the one I have visited in Colombia and, when we met, she wanted me to take her my home, and we spent one full year... But we never marry when we came back to Colombia.
If I were rebekka I would have brought more chaperons and bodyguards, Ha! Ha!
Online, as I have seen, there�s no need to DATE. You can grasp what the other one does and there are more things than hunches to know if the match is okey: The truth is that, when you live together, some faults would appear and IT DEPENDS ON THE PEOPLES and their committments to remain (a desirable thing).
Rebekka saw HER well being (a normal and average preference women (and also men) seek these days).
No matter it was CONVENIENCE, she had the chaperons and the time TO GO BACK if sha had wanted... How many would travel to see the other one as Rebekka did? (Just Monica, the one I have visited in Colombia and, when we met, she wanted me to take her my home, and we spent one full year... But we never marry when we came back to Colombia.
If I were rebekka I would have brought more chaperons and bodyguards, Ha! Ha!
Online, as I have seen, there�s no need to DATE. You can grasp what the other one does and there are more things than hunches to know if the match is okey: The truth is that, when you live together, some faults would appear and IT DEPENDS ON THE PEOPLES and their committments to remain (a desirable thing).
Rebekka saw HER well being (a normal and average preference women (and also men) seek these days).
No matter it was CONVENIENCE, she had the chaperons and the time TO GO BACK if sha had wanted... How many would travel to see the other one as Rebekka did? (Just Monica, the one I have visited in Colombia and, when we met, she wanted me to take her my home, and we spent one full year... But we never marry when we came back to Colombia.
If I were rebekka I would have brought more chaperons and bodyguards, Ha! Ha!
Online, as I have seen, there�s no need to DATE. You can grasp what the other one does and there are more things than hunches to know if the match is okey: The truth is that, when you live together, some faults would appear and IT DEPENDS ON THE PEOPLES and their committments to remain (a desirable thing).
Rebekka saw HER well being (a normal and average preference women (and also men) seek these days).
No matter it was CONVENIENCE, she had the chaperons and the time TO GO BACK if sha had wanted... How many would travel to see the other one as Rebekka did? (Just Monica, the one I have visited in Colombia and, when we met, she wanted me to take her my home, and we spent one full year... But we never marry when we came back to Colombia.
If I were rebekka I would have brought more chaperons and bodyguards, Ha! Ha!
Online, as I have seen, there�s no need to DATE. You can grasp what the other one does and there are more things than hunches to know if the match is okey: The truth is that, when you live together, some faults would appear and IT DEPENDS ON THE PEOPLES and their committments to remain (a desirable thing).
I am replying the original post. I agree with most things except these three:
1. "Look at the example of Isaac and Rebekah."
(Sisygirl already voiced my opinion on this.)
2. "Always go with a chaperon on a date."
This is ridiculous! If I would invite a girl to a coffee shop for a first date to talk about ourselves, then I wouldn't want anyone else to be there unless she has a small child with her. Children are okay. But if she was accompanied by her mother or father or her brother or sister or guy friend or whatever, I would not want to go. A first date is a time when you talk about each other and get to know each other. It's not a group conversation. If you turn it into a group conversation or have people listen in on your private conversation, then it's not a date anymore. This may be shocking to you, but I am a very discreet person. What I say to one person is intended only for that one person, and not for two or more others. If she wants to bring bodyguards to her first date, that's fine with me. But have them stand at the door, not sitting at our table.
3. "True love is not instant but grows over time."
True love doesn't always grow over time. I believe in love at first sight, although it has never happened to me. But that doesn't mean that it cannot ever happen or that it wouldn't be true love!
