Author	Thread: Not really a dating story
Apostelle View Profile History	Not really a dating story Posted : 29 Aug, 2012 10:55 AM This is more of a story about how I got to where I am than any particular dating/courting story. I grew up poor as dirt. This is important because it shaped my life. My parents seperated when my mom was about 4 months pregnant with me. Growing up, we rarely had things. There were times when my mother, and grandparents, could not afford to feed all of us, so the adults went without food for days. They didnt like "being on the dole", aka welfare. Many years I went to school wearing my brother's hand me downs. They were sometimes covered in patches and it wasnt "a style" or "trendy" at that time. This was the 1970's and jobs, especially jobs in the South, were very hard to find. Now, my mother is only 5' tall, a very petite woman. My father paid $26 a week in child support. There was no alimony. I watched my mother take every job she could find. Textile work, driving a dump truck, hauling cardboard to the recycler, scrubbing toilets, anything to take care of her family. 12-16 hours a day sometimes. I watched her age prematurely because of the brutal, physical labor she had to do. Work, that I can honestly say, would have broken many men. In late 1974, she was diagnosed with cancer. She beat it. Three weeks after the surgery, she was working full time again. Six of us lived in a two bedroom house. My mother, brother, sister, and I shared one small bedroom. My grandparents had the other bedroom. God always saw us through even the most horrific incidents. For a short time, one of our cousins and her three children were being mentally and physical abused by her husband and they lived with us in that same small house. The reason I mentioned all this is because this is the reason I am in my current situation. As I grew older, and watched what she did for us, I determined that future my wife would never have to go through that. My future wife would never fall asleep sitting in the driveway after working 16 hours. My future wife's stomach wouldnt growl because she would rather starve than see her children go without food. Our children wouldnt wear hand me downs. I decided that I would be financially stable enough to take care of my family before I ever thought about getting married. Over the years I have had a couple of setbacks. I lost my job and home in the late 80's and was unable to finish school for many years. A similar set of circumstances happened again in the 90's. But I learned from those incidents. One of the most important lessons I learned from my mother was to adapt. To roll with the punches life sometimes sends your way, but above all, to always trust in God. Now, I am 44 years old. In the late 90's my mother's health started to really decline, so I moved her in with me. I grew up in church and was born again when I was 13. My mother and grandmother taught me to look for a specific type of woman. Someone who loves God as much as I do. Someone who has never been married. Someone who is a virgin, as I am. Unfortunately, I am now too old for that type of woman. I have all but given up trying to find the woman God has fashioned for me. Ive worked hard all my life and now that I have reached my goal of being able to take care of a family, I am unable to find the one for me. I did not write this for others to feel sorry for me. I wrote this as a warning to others. Live for today, God will provide for tomorrow. If you dont, one day you may look up from your labors and realize that life has passed you by. May God bless you and comfort you. William Post Reply
PeterStuff View Profile History	Not really a dating story Posted : 29 Aug, 2012 11:59 AM Thanks bill 4 your advice. Although i think it would just have been equally hard to find that woman if you were 25 today Post Reply
PeterStuff View Profile History	Not really a dating story Posted : 29 Aug, 2012 12:01 PM ^In many places, girls are no longer virgins at 20, unless you are lucky Post Reply
View Profile History	Not really a dating story Posted : 29 Aug, 2012 12:28 PM Apostelle that is a real heartfelt story! I am sure there are others out there that have similar if not the same kind of story. Women also have heartfelt stories. Dont give up, I am talking to a nice Christian guy now he is in his 60's never married and has no kids. He is a Professional will good job and a good education in his field. Many Older men never marry for whatever reason, he was engaged once he said but the gal married some other man instead. Why I am not sure. Anyway this man said he always wanted to be married. lol Not sure what happened there, but he is a Christian and very active in his Baptist Church. I did not meet in on this CDFF site. Most men I met on here are not serious man or are scared to meet in person, or dont like to Travel here. This list goes on and on. lol Post Reply
View Profile History	Not really a dating story Posted : 29 Aug, 2012 12:32 PM Oh ..and as far as being a Virgin , I doubt he is, because he never talks on that subject. And, at his age, I am sure he probably is NOT. Many men fall short in that area. Not good though that is why ; He who finds a Wife finds a good thing and has favor of the Lord in Proverbs . When a man avoids or talks around a subject that means he is not comfortable when confronted with that Topic. Post Reply
Apostelle View Profile History	Not really a dating story Posted : 29 Aug, 2012 09:46 PM It is much more difficult to find a woman like that at my age, PeterStuff. The odds get progressively worse the older you get. Thank you for your words of encouragement, ExceedingJoy. They are greatly appreciated. Post Reply
View Profile History	Not really a dating story Posted : 29 Aug, 2012 10:38 PM Thanks for sharing this, Apostelle. It takes guts. Thanks for the story, thanks for the advice. Could you send me a PM? There's something I want to talk with you about, but I'd rather do so privately, and I can't message you (I'm outside of the USA). Post Reply
Apostelle View Profile History	Not really a dating story Posted : 30 Aug, 2012 05:31 AM Sent, brother. Post Reply
View Profile History	Not really a dating story Posted : 31 Aug, 2012 12:05 AM Brother, I'm sorry you're hurting. You had a plan (A lot of us did), but it hasn't turned out the way you imagined it would. Maybe tomorrow your prayer will be answered exactly as you have hoped. Don't give up! Maybe tomorrow finds you seeing your sisters differently... A woman who has been widowed or abandoned by her husband, through no fault if her own, is no less holy than a virgin. And this deserves to be shouted from the rooftop...A prostitute who has asked forgiveness of our Father, and been washed in the blood of Christ is no less holy than a virgin! Can you see it? I don't know what the Lord has planned for you, but I know it is greater than anything you could plan for yourself, because that's who He is! Don't give up! Post Reply
Apostelle View Profile History	Not really a dating story Posted : 31 Aug, 2012 06:19 AM Sister, I am not judging women who are in the circumstances you mentioned. It is not so much about the actual physical virginity. It is about being mismatched. Unequally yoked. It is the duty of Christians to find the best possible match for themselves. To teach your children though example. If I had been divorced or had led a promiscuous life before accepting God, it would not be a concern. As I stated in the story, I am not looking for pity. I do not pity myself. I am simply stating to other Christians, do not hesitate if you find the right one. Post Reply
emilyk View Profile History	Not really a dating story Posted : 31 Aug, 2012 07:27 AM Your story is inspiring.I hope one day you meet your missing rib,as it is finding is not the problem but how to hold on to that relationship. Post Reply

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