So, one day a few months back, my old man comes up to me with this daring, determined, but also rather blank stare on his face. It was as if he wasn't 100% sure of what he was doing.
Now you see, this a man who does not give up easily. Normally in a situation like this, i prepare for the worst. Why you might ask? Because, his negotiation skills far outstretch mine. When I'm in trouble, there is no way out. It's like he knows things...horrible things I never even come close to seeing... I'm just seething like OoOohh man, what did mom tell him now??.... I am expecting to hear him say "What was it your mother asked of you last week, that you so nonchalantly, blatantly, ignored, but still have to go do?"
Something along those lines. You know what i mean?
Yeah... nothing like that this time around however. I was pleasantly surprised when he abruptly stops in front of me and starts looking around precariously... then proceeds to rather roughly shove something into my hands like it was a drug deal.
Oof.
I look down... I recognized it right away... Yuck! It's that dirty, beat up, old book on marriage he's had in his truck for waay too long (Literally, I have seen it there several times while riding with him, never asked about it, I was too scared) He looks me in the eyes and says:
"Son, I'm giving you this book. Your mother and I finished it together a while back and she won't let me get rid of it. So, I decided to pass it on to you (Aww Gee, thanks dad). If you are planning on getting married one day, this here is a piece of God's wisdom you may find invaluable, read it sometime."
Then just up and walks out! Leaving me standing there in confusion, wondering whether he just wanted me to get rid of it without her knowing? or if he was being legitimate...
I look down again: It's pretty old, well worn even, but, in that good book way, you know? It has that charm to it. The corners slightly rounded with the repeated throws into the side door storage of our pick-up truck... I could tell it had seen many speed bumps while sitting in the closed center console... the pages with their slight, musty odor...the classic move of using the sudoku puzzle from the newspaper as his bookmark...... I think he even spilled some coffee on it one day.......
I'm like "Ah man here I go again. Please Dad! nooo... not with this crazy stuff you do to us.."
SOo of course I do what I always do when I recieve a book from him... I go downstairs and throw it in my sister's room and never look back.
Yeah... the next morning? It's back in my room, sitting on my end table as if it had never left. Though, somehow I knew exactly how it got there. (He can see through walls!! I'm telling you!!)
SoooOoo, I toss er on the ol' bookshelf in my room, thinking nothing of it.
Until one day, I'm getting ready for work and I hear this "Clunk!" from the far side of my room as I am walking out the door. Sure enough! I see this teal blue book sitting on the floor, face down. Picking it up, grimacing at the prospect of getting married and deciding to take it to work with me, not even realizing the implications it would have on my life in just a few days.
Alllright, Short story long, I could not put this thing down for the next 2 days. Has anyone ever read this and really had an eye opener on the massive differences between the male and female brain? Or is at least interested in learning about something like that?
I know I was astounded by it and I am curious to hear your opinions! If you haven't read this one, definitely add it to your list, even if you aren't married. Also, if you made it this far, hope you enjoyed the story! It is all completely fake. I made it up. Have a Good Day!
Oh my goodness, that was such a brilliant tale! I enjoyed it from the start to the finish! Perhaps I should suggest this book to a few of my friends. I believe they would be quite thankful for its help...
