i'm currently reading john ortberg's "everybody's normal till you get to know them". it's a very good book explaining about our relationship with other people. i highly recommend it.
and, i'm also starting c. s. lewis' "mere christianity". but it's a translated one so i'm going to need extra concentration when i'm reading it.
I just finished "Passion and Purity"...took me more time than it should have because I read and re-read parts of it over and over. But it was really good. Very convicting and practical. At first, I thought it was too idealistic. No one can be that perfect, and trust God to that extent. Then I realized that she wasn't claiming to be perfect, or even saying that everyone has to handle things just as she handled them.
The one thing that really, REALLY convicted me was that we as girls should wait for God to bring the right marriage partner along, and not go out looking. A girl shouldn't even make it obvious that she likes a guy until he is ready to actively pursue her. Sort of kills the whole online dating thing, huh? I'm still wrestling with that one...wondering if I misunderstood the whole chapter. It seems pretty harsh to me. How is a guy going to know if we would welcome his attention unless we give him some encouragement? I can see letting the guy lead in the relationship, but really? The girl should never take any initiative? Like I said, I'm still mulling that one over.
What do those of you who have read the book think? Am I understanding that chapter correctly?
@Suzy- "Mere Christianity" is WONDERFUL! =) C.S. is so articulate.
@pianogal- As I said earlier, I haven't read the book. But, Elisabeth Elliot spoke on Focus on the Family (I think it was?) a year or so ago and was talking about some of the ideas in her book... And that is one of the things she said that really turned me off... That a woman shouldn't take any kind of initiative at all or go looking for a guy. I wondered when I heard that if I was misunderstanding it too. But it seemed pretty clear. And I'm not sure how I feel about it...
For me, I think it's Biblical for the guy to initiate and to take the lead in the relationship, but I wouldn't say that it's unbiblical for a girl to begin a conversation with a guy or to express interest in getting to know him better. It seems kind of extreme to suggest that women should not even let a guy know she's interested. But then, I have to remember that I'm filtering all of that through my impatience and rapidly ticking biological clock; I'm biased and eager... haha =)
My thoughts exactly, Pixy! That was pretty much the only thing in the book that REALLY stumped me. Most everything else I could agree with, or at the very least, I could see her point and see how it was Biblical, even if I didn't like it. Sometimes being convicted about something is good.
One thing that I can see her point on, but didn't really like, was the "no physical contact AT ALL before marriage" idea. I understand her logic, and I understand how marriages work just fine with no "try outs" beforehand. But really? No holding hands even? No hugs? Nothing? She didn't even limit it at "no kissing." She just said NO contact. At least on that point, she admitted that one probably should recommend a course of action (such as no contact) because the Bible doesn't give clear guidelines as far as what is and is not OK. She was just giving advice that would be the most likely to keep the couple from going too far before marriage. And like she said, how far IS too far? I think her bigger point was that each couple has to set boundaries based on what would be most pleasing to God, and then stick to those boundaries.
But I guess I've already broken both of those "rules" in my last relationship. I initiated it by sending the first wink on the dating site. He did all the leading after that (including ending the relationship), but I was the one to let him know I was interested. And we sure did have physical contact. We held hands and hugged. That was all, but it was enough that it made the break-up that much harder. Maybe that's why I can see her point about that. No contact because not only is it dangerous from a moral standpoint, but it is also just making things harder in the long run.
Yeah, I can see her point of why no contact would be good. I don't personally like it either, but it would prevent one from going too far! Looking back on past relationships that I've had, I wish that I hadn't kiss the guys. I enjoy kissing a lot, but it would have been kinda nice maybe to save that for my future husband. I don't think that it made it harder to break up w/ the guys for me, but then I wasn't really that into them in the first place (and, yeah, I definitely shouldn't have been kissing them then).
But, if I were to kiss someone now, I think that it would definitely establish a level of intimacy that would make breaking up especially heartbreaking. I'm a different person now than in my past relationships. I'm more selective and only will have relationships w/ men who I see as being potential husbands. There's definitely more seriousness there than before... more emotion.
I started reading Kurt Vonnegut's "Slaughterhouse-Five" tonight. I'm only a few pages into it, but I really like the writing style. I also have "Passion on Purpose, Discovering and Pursuing a Life that Matter," by Dr. Deborah Newman sitting here. I'll start it soon too. It's put out by Focus on the Family and I've read another book of hers which was REALLY good.
Its losely about a married couple that died in a car crash, He had already given his life to Jesus but she keeped on putting it of. and its about their journey after they died and it relays his experiance in heaven and hers in Hell.
I can tell you this author must have been inspired by God on this one because its made me real glad to be a saved person, His description of her journey though hell and all the different punishments that await, well trust me you dont want to risk going there.
Any way this is one captivating book well worth checking out.
