A woman initiating a romantic relationship that can lead in marriage?
This subject has been discussed before in my early days in this dating site, AND yes I personally have initiated relationships with guys, relationships that have been going very well looking at how we relate and the number of years I've been friends with guys I've initiated friendship with.
I went as far as initiating a conversation with a strange person that I realized I had fallen in love with, NOT necessarily asking for a relationship BUT rather freeing myself from the pressure I was feeling daily when seeing him knowing how I felt about him. So now there's a little difference in these: Initiating friendship is a lot easier and rejection from it is bearable compared to a personal relationship. Suppose it's because one can altinate and make friends with the next person if the other part doesn't seem interested with no pressure from how the initiating part feels, since in friendship we're often driven by decisions while in personal relationships we're more driven by emotions of how one makes us feel. I'm open for your view if I somehow perceive this wrong.
Though the above is not the main question. What I seek to get from your opinion is: What do you think of a woman initiating a relationship that can lead to marriage? She may not be the one suggesting taking things to the next level, though being the main initiator of the whole thing. This question Amstel is inspired by serious issues to be considered should the two decide to get married inspite of who started the whole thing.
I've given myself an assignment of searching the depth of forgiveness. This assignment wasn't suppose to overlap to the new year as it has. I must admit that, this is deeper and broader than I thought. The more God reveals, the deeper I seek to understand through searching Holly scriptures. Had I known how demanding this assignment is, I wouldn't have gave a time limit... that by the 1 Jan 2014 I should be long done with this... And let 'Bye-gones be bye-gones'. I'm inspired instead to search more and understand what forgiveness really is. Inasmuch as I have decided to release former things.
This is where my question to you comes from. This is in-line with our previous conversation about nakedness. Here i'm learning that one can only be forgiven by God IF only one also forgives those who have done him/her wrong. Fairer to forgive, you are cutting off the very channel of receiving mercy from God since we sin continuously to God. Jesus says that, "If your fellow wrongs you 7times a day and comes back to you 7times and say that, 'I'm am sorry' you must forgive him/her.
How will this then affect a marriage relationship initiated by a woman who may find herself sinning terribly to a point of.... Giving her affection (benefits that should be reserved for you as the rightful husband) to another man by cheating on you, and coming back to admit what she did and therefore asking for forgiveness?
Remember that the husband in our earthly marriage represents Christ who forgives, protects, shields, provides etc for the wife... (us the church). Now the difference here is: Christ initiated this marriage by chasing after us until we finally accepted him as the husband. He could be driven by His efforts when carrying the cross. That's why it's in His nature to forgive... NB, not that we are permitted to sin deliberately.
While in this regard it was not the husband who offered to lay his life for the wife's sake, she initiated this whole thing only to commit such a flop hoping to be forgiven, accepted and shattered by her husband just like Christ does with the church.
Now keeping in mind how much God expects from husbands since they are the reflection of Christ as the husband to us (the church that sins so much)
Do you then think its a woman's place to initiate a relationship that has a potential of putting such pressure to the guy should the two decide to take things to the next level?
Can I kindly limit you please dear brother by asking you not to bring forth the subject of 'divorce' in your reply. I know it's an option in this regard though that's besides the point right now. Can we keep this rooted of forgiveness.
Thank you so much Amstel.... Really have pushed you to your limits hey? :nahnah:
Well, I hate to give such a non-authoritative answer, but I clearly haven't thought about forgiveness as deeply as you have and probably the way I should be thinking. I'm going to have to get back to you on this, to be honest. I will think more about it and the how it applies to the goings on in my own life and such and get back to you on it Sisy. Again, thank you, and what a blessing you truly are, my friend.
Yeah!! Happy New Year friend. It almost took me a month to get myself back to the forum again but it is still good to be back.
A woman initiating a romantic relationship is not that bad at all, although it might not be considered African, which is the culture under which I grew.
However, some steps need to be taken before such can happen; also keep in mind that a woman is not expected to make a marriage proposal but the man, but she can influence the proposal from him with wisdom.
A woman is expected to be convinced of whom the person is, first and foremost, before she starts making plans. There is no sense in initiating a thing and afterwards there is no result to show for it. Remember Proverbs 3:5-7 should be our guideline. When a woman notices affection for someone in her heart, she should commune with her Maker about it and check for what God has to say about it. You know, sometimes feelings doesn't mean perfection at all, so a Christian lady (or man) ought to get that right before she starts making a move.
After she is convinced that the person involved is God's perfect plan, she can also ask God to touch his heart and make the move or give her the wisdom to make the move.
There is nothing wrong at all with the woman making the initiative move, but wisdom is profitable to direct.
