In the garden of Eden God made Adam a help meet, Eve. Like the Bible says, the woman was created for the man, not the man for the woman.
But nowadays I feel even among Christian women genuine love does not exist. It is all about what can you offer me for me to offer you my love and my companionship. Don't you feel this way? You have to take this step, you have to take that step, love nowadays feels like a videogame where you make a single mistake and you fall off a clif and you have to restart all over again. And by mistake I do not mean serious things like being violent or betraying, or cheating. So I feel that genuine love does either not exist or it is very rare. When women are in desperate situations such as when nobody pays attention to them because they have a child or because they live in poverty and need to escape the poverty, they suddenly become more open, more tolerant and more communicative. How come?
Hey, you have some good questions. They are reflections, on your search. You certainly don't want to marry a woman who feels entitled to be maintained, or makes you jump through hoops. I'd pray for a woman that God would choose for you, or permit for you to marry. I hope you don't mind my two cents! Some women trying to escape poverty, don't understand the power of God to help them along. My God shall supplies all my needs, according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. These are not wants, but needs. As women are the weaker sex, and child bearers, a man should look to help them, but what gets me is the attitude of entitlement in comparison to Jesus Christ. It irks me, and I disdain that. The woman should marry Christ first, and if she is born again, she should be understanding that "everything" is a gift from God. Her husband, his money, her money, her next breath, etc. The greed, idolatry is widespread with many women. Of course men have their sins as well, but money divides and creates divorces, something God detests. You're wise to ask these questions. It's better to be single, for me, than to have a greedy woman beside me. Does a greedy woman have her mind and heart on the Kingdom of God?
The question is, do you, do I? We need to seek His Kingdom and His righteousness, and the rest will be added onto us. There are some decent women out there, who value Jesus over mammon. Keep looking, praying, and seeking His Kingdom first. I hope you don't mind me responding, as they are some excellent questions you have. Blessings Sir, from Canada.
You may want to expand that for him, as in rice, getting thicker, into congee'. Sorry, couldn't resist. He may not know the definition of rice Christian. For the sake of those not familiar with the term, could you elaborate, for them, please? Thanks.
Thank you Zeetozee for catching that one. Yes, I definitely wasn’t very clear in my response at all. I will definitely get into the congee!
Rice Christian is a missional term to define someone who solely identifies as Christian to get financial benefits rather than identifying as Christian because you realize grace is free. For instance, they may get baptized to get their children into a Christian private school due to better educational outcomes but they don’t understand the Gospel and they continue their daily life like unbelievers and the mainstream culture. That said, women tend to seek for security when looking for their partner. Finances will always be a factor and we can’t lie about it to ourselves.
However, I would like to mention this is not the only factor at play here (which kind of explains my previous vague response). Women and men… we are both influenced by the media and the culture. Media and culture are influencing our perceptions of what “love” means. Culture spread by secular outlets like the film industry defines love as having pleasure, making a lot of money, and being happy getting all your needs fulfilled. Porn is easily accessed for free on the web is destroying men. The culture is distorting what it means to be a man and their relationships with the other sex. They may use their masculinity in the wrong ways (ie: domestic abuse and rape). Women in these poor conditions want to escape these situations deeply. In the same manner, women are watching films (ie: Korean romance dramas) and allowing the culture to influence what "love" means to them. As Christian, we could have our definition of love as the Hollywood or pornographic fantasies in our minds. Men and women are entering relationships with different expectations. As Christians, we have to understand that love is not fulfilled by the woman or man of our dreams. It can only be fulfilled by God.
Another factor is the growth of Christianity itself. It’s not a Western-country dominated religion anymore. The majority of Christians are now in developing countries (Brazil, Philippines, Indonesia, etc). These countries experience frequent natural disasters (earthquakes, floods, & typhoons). The living conditions are unpredictable with crime added into the equation. It’s natural for humans to experience the need to escape suffering when encountering these tragedies in our imperfect world. A lot of excellent ministries exist in these countries to reach the forgotten but with limited resources and training, doctrines are not always taught effectively. Even strong Christians can get distracted and focus on their problems instead of carrying out the Sermon on the Mount lessons taught by Jesus. As Christians, we have to go back to the Biblical definition of love. Keep looking brother and trust God always! – Regards from Canada.
You've done well, brother. Great definitions, kudos to the various explanations.
Media, the propaganda of commodity consumption, godless culture, false religions, base instincts, sin, manipulation to get security or financial gain, lust, pornography, romanticism that is falsely portrayed in pop culture, especially geared towards women, all create instability and warped views of love. Biblical love, and Jesus working on us from the inside out, is where it's at.
You know, when I meet a woman, I don't quickly want to know how much she earns, where she works, will she provide for my security, will she cook for me, etc. I mean, I don't look at that at all. I could not give a sniff if she is penniless or is richer than Rockefeller. What I do look for is her love of Jesus, her love of serving Him, and wanting to pray and explore that with me. I wish some women would do the same. I would love her if she was jobless, not educated, and loves Jesus immensely. It's harder for me to find a woman that would do the same for me. I have a bit of education. I have a little bit of money. I"m not presently working, and Covid-19 leaves that part challenging, but so many women are after things before the man. It's like the cart before the horse. I say, go have your cart, as this horse wants a woman who is in love with God first, not the cart, or even the horse as primary. Jesus first, husband and herself second, cart, "very, very" secondary. If you catch my analogies. You have more education than me, so you're catching it. One more thing: I understand why women want security. There is nothing wrong with wanting some peace and stability. But, oh, so quickly it's idolatry. Maintain me, give me, buy me. Me, me, me. Yuck! Get over yourself darling! You're not all that! Jesus is! Let us go together to the throne of grace, as equals and co-heirs with Christ. Lets seek His Kingdom and righteousness, as all these things shall be added onto you (us). Quit looking to the man to be fulfilled! You will be disappointed, as the man is not Jesus! Okay, my rant is over. :)
Yes, I understood your analogies. Humans always finding fulfillment in the wrong places and in the wrong order. We always think that the "next new thing" will make us happy. That's hardly the case. Too many people are looking for someone to "complete" them. It's self-entitlement and selfishness at work. That said... if you're familiar with 5 love languages by Gary Chapman (Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch), some people do experience affection and connection better by gifts, receiving maintenance, etc. Idolatry and putting someone on a pedestal is a thing though!
Bringing the topic back to why women are more open and tolerant when they are in desperate situations... I think it's every human's intrinsic desire for deep connection with others and ultimately connection with God. We're created that way. In fact, the Gospel message is more receptive to women in general. I read somewhere that weekly church attendance by sex is like 60% women and 40% men approximately. So... if it feels like Christian women are stumbling...I think it's partially because the Christian men (especially Christian fathers) seem to be asleep at the wheel.
Some good responses, thanks! My landlord read the five love languages. I used to joke with him that if flatulence was included as the sixth, then I have lots of love to give! Why am I still single - 'brrummmmpppttt!'
Room mate banter...
Yes, some Dad's have fallen asleep, it seems. Many blessings to you, Ottawa lad.
Too many people are looking for someone to "complete" them. It's self-entitlement and selfishness at work. That said... if you're familiar with 5 love languages by Gary Chapman (Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch), some people do experience affection and connection better by gifts, receiving maintenance, etc. Idolatry and putting someone on a pedestal is a thing though!