Without His grace and prayers even here I know I can never find my future partner/Wife

Posted : 16 Oct, 2018 01:29 PM

Hi and Greatings in the name of Jesus Christ my Lord and savior.

Just for reading this be blessed in the name of Jesus Christ my Lord and savior.

I've a problem.

For starters, I'm a son of a Pastor, church leader and former missionary in Kenya.

I grew up in in a Christian family with many questions about God, Christ, the Church, The Bible etc. Infact with everyone year since highschool I become more and more confused, I may have chosen the Rastafari ocult but in reality I believed nothing.

About God, well I wanted proof, facts and I believe I become more and more of a sceptic and even later antagonist.

I believed that I had the right to choose whom to worship and how, but I also wanted to be a writer and with so many struggle's and frustrations that African writer's go through I was actually decived.

The good news and cutting the long story short (am writing my testimony inspired also by a book from the late Nabeel Qureshi "Seeking Allah finding Jesus, hence more talk about my past could expose my ID and I think it should be reserved to a woman who will be able to meet Christian dating principle and personal requirements- Bible based personal requirements) by the grace of God Almighty I found the Messiah, I found Christ.



I got saved in 2016 putting aside every ambitions, I literally burned all my manuscripts, stopped reading and watching every other book apart from the Bible, and of course the enemy knows how to deal with people who have decided to follow Jesus.

I was actually shocked to learn that salvation, especially if you start running (one pastor once told me that I was running to much, of course he couldn't understand that I was under Afflictions, I tried everything preached in the church including giving to the poor and extra giving in the church, i even did the anointing oil) allow me not to talk about it, I mean that past, by the grace of God Almighty I know that one day you will read my testimony and you will remember that someone talked about it somewhere.



A year and months down the line His grace had brought me to a point of rest;

My tears, tears of the African man had paid off (in my culture, after initiation crying or shading of tears for a man is actually a taboo) but oh, who can meet the Christ and not weep...... And the Afflictions, and the tearful Prayers, and the fastings and the struggle.



By his grace somehow I wasn't fired from work. You can imagine being the most hated person at work, in the department and the entire organization. Infact before I got my calling to join Dad on the ministry every staff in the organization were already calling me Pastor.

I tried objecting severally but they would tall me "***** we so you, we know where you are coming from, this is a calling so we can't stop calling you a pastor,"

I wasn't a perfect Christian but, I was trying.

At that time I used to sing allot and proclaim the word of God Almighty

This Is still my favorite scripture from those days "shall not die, but live, And declare the works of the Lord .

Psalms 118:17 NKJV" and "The bolts of your gates will be iron and bronze, and your strength will equal your days. “There is no one like the God of Jeshurun, who rides across the heavens to help you and on the clouds in his majesty. The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. He will drive out your enemies before you, saying, ‘Destroy them!’

Deuteronomy 33:25‭-‬27 NIV,"



Later I come across preaching on YouTube of Derick Prince on demonology and he quoted Isaiah 61:3

to appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called Trees of righteousness, The planting of the Lord , that he might be glorified.

Isaiah 61:3 KJV

That time and in the beginning of my days as a saved brother the Holyspirit had directed me to singing.

From reggae music to songs I had abandoned over 8 years after highschool.



To be true to you I find it hard to talk to anyone about relationships, when I meet a lady wether Christian or not it's my principal (and this is from the bottom of my heart) to evangelise, encourage, preach gospel, testify and proclaim the goodness of the Lord and what He has done for me and educate.

He must increase and I must decrease.



I know you are somehow lost ok i coincidentally come across this on a Twitter post from Desiring God weebsite written by John Piper and for sometime now it has been my view, ok he says that "you mast seek a spouse who loves Jesus Christ more than you."

After the calling the advice that followed was concerning marriage. And being in the church i feel guilty to talk about it one second, after I tried when someone advised that I lowered my standards Abit it ended badly with even betrayal in the church, My spiritual dad and mentor (it's Gods doing that in my initial stages of salvation I got connected to several Pastors and when one failed me in one way or the other i beared, But when it involved misleading into risky positions I quickly went for separate guidance) told me that my fiancee after our break up (I needed to get back to my fasting and prayers (I'm trying to live a fasted lifestyle) and she wasn't ok with that and apparently I had committed several wrongs of being what she called over spiritual I discontinued the relationship) went and confessed to the pastor's many things including my ow common crime of being over spiritual.



That was my lowest moment in life.

To get away from the stress I began and went back to writing, Christian fiction and non-fiction.



One thing is clear to me, within the church freamwork I can still meet a lady, I want my legacy to be different

That I met a spirit filled Christian who was also seeking what I was seeking.

I need a Christian woman who is not compatible with anything under the sun.

A partner in my ministry as I begin to plan for my colleg seminary days.

I'm not seeking for perfection but for at least someone who knows the difference between saving God and the world.

I got saved at 29 and I never want to decive othars or myself.



Wether African or Asian or Indian or European, I didn't care about anything desplayid and visible by the human eye... I only care about the fruits of the Holyspirit-Wether present or not, and the so called over spiritual and holier than thao(this is a sermon altogether about Christian Language. Of course there's nothing like over spiritual and if it's real then it's deception or cults

If I meet my wife well I will praise the Lord, but if I do or not, woe unto me if I don't preach the gospel.



I'm using my phone and am sorry for the typos.



I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.

Ephesians 4:1‭-‬6 NKJV



And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death.

Revelation 12:11 NKJV



Be blessed in the name of Jesus Christ my Lord and savior.

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