im the daughter of this user - ive been reading some of the profiles on this site and I have to say im concerned. This is a "christian" dating site. Im seeing 50 plus year old men seeking women from 18 on and limiting themselves to age groups of their own. What would a christian man want with an 18 year old that a woman his age could not give? If a man is truly christian and thinking with the mind of Christ would he be seeking college girls? What are they wanting? What are they expecting? If a man is truly seeking a partnerin Christ then anyone is acceptable and there should be no condemnation - no matter a womans age....It looks kind of discusting reallyand to be honest does not give the good lord good PR if you know what I mean... and whats up with the seductive adds on this site somethins wrong here....
I feel wat your sayin. My biggest issue is the kinda Christians we have today. So holy and sanctified on sunday but monday thru saturday talkin bout other christians rejectin others and the fact that this site is suppose to be for Christians but i see its nothin but church folks here. Church folks r saved sunday but cuss drink smoke and fornicate the rest of the days. Half the ppl on this site dont seem to be saved to me.
Your comment about the adds has been previously mention in these forums. We agree with you there...However, some people, both men and women, do not list age limits because this site offers more than just the chance to meet people of your own age group. It gives you the chance to converse and fellowship with each other as a Christian family. By putting age limitations, you are limiting your possible fellowship with others outside of that range. I however, have listed an age limit to let women know what age range I'm interested in. I think it is just a matter of preference and it shouldn't be use as a method of judging someone's character. Thank you for your post and your concern for your Mother. God Bless!!
Hello. I agree with Stormcountry that it is admirable that you are taking such a hands on interest in your mom's endeavors here.
I'm wit chu when you right about the ads. I thought I was the only one that had noticed it. I'm sure the creators and owners of this site would probably talk about the audacity of any of us saying anything about the ads when we don't have to pay.
I minored in Psychology and I remember hearing a little bit about mid-life crisis es in men and their wanting to hold on to their youth and all, but I am no expert. So, all I can do is comment on why I had limits on my profile.
My personal experience has been that older men TEND to be (who have past the point of mid-life crisis, if they have one at all) more settled, know who they are and are comfortable with that and have enough life experience to appreciate a virtuous woman when they see one.
So, at the risk of missing a good guy my age, I put a 'must be' 45-55 age requirement on my profile. Now that I have found a possible 'Boo', I have opened it up to any age for the fellowship and its been awesome!
If it wasn't to work out between us(I hope it does! Pray yall!), I would put the age limit back on.
It is a individual preference and people do it for different reasons. Your mom, like the rest of us who really wants a true man or woman of God, just has to be discerning and pray.
Other people have mentioned the ads on this site. It is very unfortunate that some - not all - are not appropriate.
I know what you are saying about the age limits. While there are some people who do not put an age limit on their profile, the majority of men I have seen (on this and several other internet dating sites) that are in the 50-60 year old range are looking for a lady in her 30's or possibly early 40's. Since I am 50 I am looking at these profiles and what you have said is true -- most of the men ARE looking for someone 15-20 years younger than they.
Why? Well..... can't answer that one. If that is what they want and they have been led by the Lord to seek that age range..... then good luck to them. I hope they find what they are looking for.
You are a good daughter to be looking out for your mom.
I have my profile set to any but I do have an age range.
The reason that I don't set that range on my profile is so anyone that wants to send me a msg to ask me something still can. If I set a range then they can't send me a msg.
If a man is truly seeking a partner in Christ then anyone is acceptable and there should be no condemnation
mine here
i totally agree. i wouldnt condemn anyone no matter the age of their partner long as they are legal.. i believe the bible doesnt state that age barrior or legal age and older age cannot be together.. .. to me thats between the man and the woman and GOD...
maybe that old man wants to have children.. ya know..
anyways you are a brave young feller or a brave young lady for speakin up for your mom.. smile
In Christ there is no age. I personally have never had a serious girlfriend. So It's hard for me to relate to people who have already had romantic relationships therefore. Not to mention I'm very athletic and continue playing football and basketball with kids and I don't see that changing right away.
The whole age thing is pretty messed up in the American perception in particular. Because BIBLICALLY the man is to represent Christ and the woman the church. That *should* make the man a WHOLE LOT MORE mature in order to even START to resemble that picture :-). Right?
But no we have women on here who will talk to guys 2 years older maybe sometimes. hehe. That's absurd. There's the non-Christian thing if there is one here. Do they want their relationship to be a picture of Jesus' love to the church or not? IF SO it would be better to aim for a guy who is *more* mature. Don't guys mature slower? Didn't I hear that somewhere once??
puzzling. Look at the only really through and through great relationship in the OT. Boaz and Ruth. Boaz matured to where he was a man of God. Ruth recognized it and chose him over the guy that had mag wheels on his chariot or whatever. Smart girl. Wish I could find one.
You'll notice more foreigners to the US have wider ranges of people they will accept as human :-). US women tend to be more snooty. The funny thing is, I wouldn't take on the liability of 90% of them. They haven't cared to take care of the temple of the holy spirit in many cases to where if I tried to do anything that I enjoyed with them they'd probably wind up in the hospital or something with a busted ankle. MANY who are in their 20's already have kids etc.
NOW..the thing is *I* am still willing to try to be their brother and build them up in Christ even if I don't feel romantically drawn to them.
Most of them however..don't even consider me a person.
I didn't read the whole post but from what I read I think this might help you think of things in a new way.... -bob
Ok I finished the post now. Yeah I don't think anyone should limit anything but a lot of us are caught in that situation....
in my own (human..ie. faulty) "wisdom" I'd be say 'I'm 49...I've spent my whole life trying to help people and stuff. It's time to get DOWN to the business of finding my wife!!'
I had some lady staying on the property who is an older kinda hippie lady. Not remotely attractive to me at all. Already had a family. It just totally changes everything like it or not most of the time.
Now I can soak my whole life trying to help this and other high needs people..or I can go try to find a wife that I'm compatible with. But then I remember..Jesus' ministry was a ministry of interruptions :-)
I supposed a LOT of guys like me limit it because they are just flat getting desperate :-). They figure they have a limited time to pull this thing together and find the wife of their youth. In my case and others...that's what it is. We've seen woman after woman choose the dumb guy that flaunts and manipulates. One heatbreak after another. And in our own wisdom we're tempted to put limits just because we figure it raises the odds.
I know that there could be a woman God would want me to be with who isn't super young still..who has set herself apart for me the way i have for her. And besides I can't cut off people and treat them as unworthy to talk to in any case. So I strongly discourage people from making this choice to limit based on age.
Man, how you got to be 49 and not have ever been in a serious relationship, is a story I would be interested in hearing.
What you may not understand then is that people who have been in relationships have opinions that have been influenced and strong feelings that have been shaped by the negative and positive experiences they've had.
It sounds like (correct me if I'm wrong) that because in your words, you are starting to feel 'desperate' and you see woman who won't even consider you (not even knowing you) based on your age, that makes you feel like your desire to find a wife has less chance of coming true.
If you would, allow me to encourage you. First, everyone has a right to desire whatever their experience, personality and their personal heart's desire is. You shouldn't waste any energy on being angry or frustrated with them.
God loves you and if you delight yourself in Him, He will give you your heart's desire as well. Desperation is a derivative of fear. God has not given us a spirit of fear, but power, love and a sound mind.
It sounds like to some degree you chose to for-go relationships to help people and do ministry and I'm sure that God will not forget you. He said He will not withhold any good thing from you.
If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? - Matthew 7:11. Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. - Proverbs 18-22
So, a wife is a good thing that God will not withhold from you if you ask.
Hey, one more thing. I didn't mean to imply that you ask and then a woman will show up at your door saying I was sent by God:laugh:.
But rather, you ask for what you want, and then with discernment and the leading of the Spirit, YOU find her. God has a way of orchestrating things. I am a witness.
