Author	Thread: Am I a Playa and what is a Playa anyway
pluc View Profile History	Am I a Playa and what is a Playa anyway Posted : 23 Feb, 2010 03:17 PM Ok so I have met several people on this site. Some just good friends i.e. 1babygirl. Some are much more. I met one that I thought I might marry. Did not work out. Now I actually talk to two that I like a lot. So I am in the car one day and my daughter says Dad you are a playa. She is 20. And I said no, no I am not. She says I now you don't want s x or anything from them but you are talking to all of these different women. So I begin my research asking all my friends including 1babygirl what is a playa anyway because I do not want to be one. So I called the two ladies that I met on this site and made it clear that I like them a lot but we have to get to know each other and see where it goes. I have not made a clear commitment yet. Have not even visited them in there city yet. I plan on visiting soon. Then I should no more. So am I a playa. One lady lives in my city that calls me from time to time. We just talk on the phone and have a good time. So am I a playa. If so tell me why and WHAT IS A PLAYA ANYWAY. Post Reply
pluc View Profile History	Am I a Playa and what is a Playa anyway Posted : 23 Feb, 2010 06:32 PM Wanted to add a few questions to this post. Is a man a playa if he has a lot of female friends that he just kicks it with? Is he a playa if a lot of women just approach him because he is trying to be the best he can? Is he a playa if he finds it hard to break a persons heart so he tries to let them down easy? Is he a playa if he is interested in more than one person just because they met at the same time but he hasn't decided which way to go yet? Is he a playa if he likes to talk to women to see what women want so he can catch the woman of his dreams? Is he a playa if he will not accept just any woman but has high standards? Is he a playa if he understands what his woman wants and knows how to make her feel good? Is he a playa if he loves to romance and treat his woman like a queen? Why can't we christian men be romantic? Why can't we be cool? Why can't we have swagger? Why do we have to be non romantic? Who says a man can't be cool, romantic, and have lots of swagger and be on fire for God. Up early praying and crying before His God. Raising the bar in his life so he get the best woman out there. Having a goal to make everyone of his ladies' friends jealous so that they will say why didn't I get him. Dreaming of dates and ways to blow her mind. Why would this be a mans goal? Because he jacked it up in his first relationship And now he wants to get it right Because his little male friends are watching and he wants to show them how to do it holy right and romantic Because he wants his God, his Mom, his Dad, and his young male friends to be proud of him. So he must have a holy wife, a fine wife, a s xy wife. But to obtain that he has got to put the playa out of business with his praise, his tears, his compassion, his love for God, and his over the top expression to the woman in his life that she is his queen and no one else will take her place. You see there are men that love God first and want to do it right. But doin't get us mixed up with the real playas that just want a one night stance with you in bed. We want a life time of love beginning with our relationship with God. And we will be romantic. Post Reply
View Profile History	Am I a Playa and what is a Playa anyway Posted : 23 Feb, 2010 06:35 PM To me, a playa is someone who plays with people. Men and women can be playas. They string them along, make them think they are the only one, hide their past, hide their present, don't introduce them to friends, make promises and only sometimes keep them...... they play with the other person. And almost always a playa will have multiples at a time -- women will have multiple men, and vice versa. Just because you are dating two women at once does not automatically make you a playa. Just my take. Post Reply
pluc View Profile History	Am I a Playa and what is a Playa anyway Posted : 23 Feb, 2010 06:46 PM Thanks a lot. I am not dating any women officially. I haven't even been out with a women in 3 months and at that time it was just diner on my birthday and we were just friends. Before that it was 2 years ago with my x-wife, before that it was 23 years ago. wow what a sad case. How can you call me a playa? Post Reply
View Profile History	Am I a Playa and what is a Playa anyway Posted : 23 Feb, 2010 07:24 PM I'm not. People have their own opinions, but that does not mean you have to accept or believe everything you are told. There is also a generational thing that may be going on. "Playa" to someone my age might have a different meaning than someone your daughter's age. Didn't you say she was 20? Maybe if you asked men and women that age they might help you understand where they are coming from if they call you a playa. Post Reply
View Profile History	Am I a Playa and what is a Playa anyway Posted : 23 Feb, 2010 07:47 PM What's up Pluc?! To answer the question, "What is a Playa?", I think that a playa is defined by his intent. If a man or woman is serial dating with no intent to commit, the people that they are dating believes they are in a monogamous relationship with the playa and the playa is accumulating people as points, notches on their belt, etc... I don't think you are a playa just because you are dating and keeping your options open. I don't know who thinks that men of God can't be romantic, so I don't know how to answer that one. I want to wined, dined, flowers, perfume and all that! There is one thing I don't agree with you on. I don't believe that there should be intent to make anyone jealous of your relationship. I don't believe that you have to get someone fine and sexy so that you can be an example to anyone. I question the depth to that way of thinking. Being fine and sexy fades with time, so I don't think anything of value should be dependent on those qualities. How sexy or fine my future husband is to the general public is the least of my concerns. Being sold out to living for God, integrity, maturity, just to name a few are the characteristics that I want in a man. If a husband and wife both display their fruit of the Spirit, then both will be an example for people to look up to. The awesome thing about us being children of the living God, is that if we let Him, He will send us the right one. Post Reply
View Profile History	Am I a Playa and what is a Playa anyway Posted : 24 Feb, 2010 10:31 AM Babygirl, I thank God for you, you speak with so much wisdom and knowledge....i agree with you on this one all the way....It is so obvious that God speaks through you. Be blessed Post Reply
View Profile History	Am I a Playa and what is a Playa anyway Posted : 24 Feb, 2010 12:20 PM Thank you so much Graceandmercy1, I humbly accept your compliment giving ALL the glory to God. Ever since I read in Proverbs that I could ask for wisdom and that God would give it to me liberally, I have asked for it. So, it is no goodness of my own. I would say something wisecracking to Pluc right now, but I am sincerely too humbled. Thank you. Post Reply
pluc View Profile History	Am I a Playa and what is a Playa anyway Posted : 24 Feb, 2010 02:49 PM Put your dukes up 1babygirl put em up I am about tired of you always bashing me. Can a brother get a break. Some times you black women just need a black man to bash. I understand just hit me with it. I can take the heat. That is why i looked at African women long and hard. Because my sisters are just so tough on a brother. Now for the rest of you out there that may be wondering what I am talking about dont worry if you were in this beautiful race of ours you would understand my hostiliy. Maybe you do anyway you see our black women have it the toughest in our american society. Their men usually leave them for stupid reasons. They leave their women and their children. Then the woman has to return to the work place and take care of the kids and deal with racism. The worst part is they love us the most. They are compared to every other type of woman in the world. They are told that their hair is not long enough, that they are to big, they are to dark, and a lot of other things. When really african american women are the most beautiful women in the world. Full of color, shapely bodies, strong emotionally and spiritually, and very sexy. So I guess I would say 1babygirl you fit in the group too. Ok I said something nice about you so shut up. Post Reply
View Profile History	Am I a Playa and what is a Playa anyway Posted : 24 Feb, 2010 04:14 PM Okay. Pluc, as I look at the brown side of your hand in your back-handed compliments, I long for the days of straightforward talk. You can be sure that as long as you are here dishing it out, that I will be here to make sure that the words that come from the mouth that you MUST have on the side of yo neck get a proper response. (Or at least until my future boo asks me to stop:laugh:). And yes you can take it, my strong black brother whose ancestors were once slaves, and generation by generation have climbed the ladder necessary to be where he is today. See, I can do it too. Oh yeah, thanks. :laugh: Post Reply
Akuilfa View Profile History	Am I a Playa and what is a Playa anyway Posted : 24 Feb, 2010 04:32 PM Wow you have a lot of free time. I have noticed most people who do virtual dating see more than one person per time to measure the values within others, in order to make the best pick. Personally I prefer one on one but its frustrating later on and it is not very healthy so maybe the way most men do it is the better way to make the better choice. As your daughter said you don't want them for sex or anything. Best way is to let all parties know you are looking and that they are not the only one you have your eyes on. Some women still respect honesty. Let them know the entire picture so when you choose the other some its not a harsh separation. The friendship would stay and it is okay to have female friends. Just remember there is a line with everything. How do you feel that your wife/fiance/betroth gf?? lol had many male friends? How often is too often to hang out with and how long is too long on the phone and stuff? Remember these are the little things that may cause problems in a relationship. Not what works well for one couple would sit well with another. As long as you and these women are not children about love I know everything would be fine.. Remember you are a christian seek God and read the word and he would guide you, mold you or mold that special woman destined for you. Post Reply

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