Author	Thread: Do I Kiss or Not Kiss
pluc View Profile History	Do I Kiss or Not Kiss Posted : 17 Feb, 2010 08:41 AM Ok So I had this goal. The goal was to marry a woman that I have not kissed. I want to do this because I want to stay pure. I am a full red blooded american man. african american at that. So I like (well love) what ever other man likes. But I love MY Father more and want to please Him more than anything. So I thought I won't even kiss a woman until wedding day. Nice goal right. To this date I have kept my goal. No kissing, no touching, not really any hugging. I love it because I get to enjoy the real things that are precious about a woman, her smile, her sense of humor. I mean I get excited when the right woman says my name or simply sends me her phone number to call on the email. I think wow that is great I think she likes me. But Am I being a boy or a man. I think I am a MAN come on I have 3 children so I know what is up, but I have become so sensitive to the small things a woman does. But now I want to simply kiss a woman again. Nothing else just a little something something you know. I mean I don't even have a relationship developed up to that point yet but I am thinking about it. Ok ladies and gentlemen tell me what you think. Should I change my goal or not. I have learned a lot by not kissing. I am more sensitive to the needs of the one I am with. But I know I a kiss is not a sin and it does not mean you will end up in bed. I could not see myself breaking my God's heart like that anyway. I need some help here. By the way I know what I am going to do I just want to see what you guys thinks. I will reveal my final decision at the end of the blog. Post Reply
View Profile History	Do I Kiss or Not Kiss Posted : 17 Feb, 2010 09:26 AM Hello again, Mr. Pluc. I've known only one woman that verbalized to me that she did not allow her then boyfriend, now husband to kiss while they were courting/dating. She felt like it was a extension of lovemaking. That was her conviction. At the beginning of your post you said that YOU made a goal because you wanted to stay pure. Then in your third paragraph you say that you know it is not a sin. Because kissing is not a sin to you (unlike the woman I mentioned earlier), I would ask what is the REAL reason that you made the 'no kissing until marriage' a goal in the first place. Only you know the strength of your conviction not to fornicate, so if kissing in any way would cause you sin against God.... As for me, I am very strong in my conviction not to fornicate. I didn't before I got married and I haven't since I've been divorced. So, I can kiss and I WILL stop if I feel like I'm losing control of the situation. See, I can do non-confrontational!:laugh: Post Reply
pluc View Profile History	Do I Kiss or Not Kiss Posted : 17 Feb, 2010 10:19 AM LOL, your whole being says confrontational, you are a black woman which means if you bring it wrong I am going to let you know. But for real I did not fornicate before marriage and since I have not even kissed anyone you know I haven't fornicated since my divorce. But I as married for 23 years. Before marriage I was not active so I could handle it. Hadn't done it you know. Now I have so I thought it would be better to not even kiss. I thought I couldn't handle myself. But as I have begun to develop a relationship here and there I begin to realize that it takes two anyway. One young lady about 6 months back said are you serious what is wrong with you. So one day we finally hugged. Nothing special just a church hug. That is when I began to think that I was being over protective. I guess I am looking forward to my first post divorce kiss. Haven't kissed another woman in 24 years. Wow this will be interesting. Post Reply
View Profile History	Do I Kiss or Not Kiss Posted : 17 Feb, 2010 10:45 AM Ima need somebody else to say something, this ain't twitter. Okay, so I AM confrontational and have even been called intimidating. That was very disturbing to me because I don't do it on purpose and in fact don't even realize how they feel until they come tell me. I've since learned it's the boldness God has given me so that I can minister effectively in the prophetic. So, I'm in my process of tempering the boldness so I don't offend. Hey, this is me improved! :laugh: Okay, so yeah it will be interesting for you and very weird, but you'll get over it quickly! Save it for someone that you really see in your future. That way you aren't giving away good suga for free! :laugh: Post Reply
View Profile History	Do I Kiss or Not Kiss Posted : 17 Feb, 2010 12:13 PM You two are very interesting. I have enjoyed reading what you both have to say. It has made me think and I sign on here to see what you have to say about certain issues. isn't that interesting. As far as should you kiss or not. I cannot telll you what to do, only to make your decision based on what you believe the word is saying. It does not matter whether the other person thinks something is wrong with you or not. It is not about them or you, it is about God. And you have put God first and foremost in your life, and when it comes down to it, if you are choosing purity, God will honor that. Peoples reactions to certain situations can make us have second thoughts about things, but that is only to through you off path that God has you on. But it is only for a split second, cause if you are truly rooted and grounded in the word, which I believe you are, then the enemy can try to use them to make you think differently, but in the end he is a lie and the truth is not in him. I truly believe that the choices we make in life can either make us or break us, and again you have chosen purity which is a choice that will make you. So keep your head up and keep your eye on the prize cause when God does send you that wife you are seeking that kiss is going to be the best kiss you ever had. Be Blessed you guys. Post Reply
pluc View Profile History	Do I Kiss or Not Kiss Posted : 17 Feb, 2010 02:51 PM Thanks a lot Gracemercy that all sounds good. Let me say i am a believer. Started preaching when I was 13 you know. Been good most of my life you know. But let me mix this up a little bit since we all are adults up here on this site. And saved too of course. CAN A MAN TRULY KISS A WOMAN PASSIONATELY (you know what I am saying) WITHOUT THINKING AND DESIRING OTHER THINGS. I would say a big NO NO NO. At this age (45) for those of you who don't know. After 23 years of marriage with a good health diet of (s x) it is tough for a guy just to quit. Most of my saved married friends are saying "man I am glad that is not me, I couldn't do it" I have to stop talking to them because they are always in my ear talking about Pluc you the man how you doin' that. So I think I must be the man but the only reason I am not messing up is because I have my standard so high no kissing, no touching, no nothin' I know it is pleasing to God. The battle ground is in the mind. If you do it in the mind then you have done it. So what's up with all of those of you out there that are kissing. If you aren't I know you want to like me but wnat to say holy. Post Reply
View Profile History	Do I Kiss or Not Kiss Posted : 17 Feb, 2010 03:17 PM Stay pure, keep doing what you're doing, that way you won't give place to the enemy. If you both are committed to this, you will both win the prize, each other,lol. Post Reply
GraceMae View Profile History	Do I Kiss or Not Kiss Posted : 17 Feb, 2010 05:12 PM Ok pluc, so you said "But now I want to simply kiss a woman again. Nothing else just a little something something you know. I mean I don't even have a relationship developed up to that point yet but I am thinking about it." Are you saying that you dont' have a relationship now, but you have the desire for kissing women now? Is it your more pressing desire now to seek a woman to marry to speed up getting to the kissing stage? :goofball: Just asking. As far as your goal, I think it's ok. It's a persons right to choose what they want and how they plan to pursue when a relationship comes into existence. You know what you can handle and what you can't. If you put yourself in certain situations anywhere close to breaking those weak areas of control (if you have any), then don't allow it. Gracemercy speaks alot of truth too. My thoughts are very similar. The right woman is going to excite you in ways that will probably make you want to get married and finish the deal! :yay: Good luck with all this and I'll be checking out others responses. ~ GraceMae Post Reply
View Profile History	Do I Kiss or Not Kiss Posted : 17 Feb, 2010 06:08 PM Can a man truly kiss a woman without desiring the other, I would say no, that is because God did not design man that way. God designed a man to desire a woman, he created him to visually desire a woman (if you know what I mean). The question is can you pray and ask the holy spirit to help you in this avenue, the answer is yes. And can you believe that when you ask, you will receive? The bible says we have not cause we ask not. The way is should be handled is when we have these thoughts, capture them and replace them with the word. Sanctification is a beautiful thing and I am a living testimony of that. We serve a mighty God, a creative God, and the holy spirit will drop in your spirit all types of creative ways to deal with a situation, you just have to have the ears to hear and the willingness to be obedient. Why wouldn't he we are his children and what he ordaines he maintains. He is our protector, provider, counselor, prince of peace I could go on an on, but you get the message, that is why Jesus died on the cross, not just for our sins, but a multitude of reasons, and that is why we have angels working on our behalf as well. Be blessed. Post Reply
View Profile History	Do I Kiss or Not Kiss Posted : 17 Feb, 2010 06:40 PM To kiss or not to kiss? I have known a couple of people who did not want to kiss until they knew the person they would kiss is the person they would marry. I think you are the only one who knows how you feel, and what your motivation(s) is(are). Now as for wanting to kiss a woman just so you can kiss again ----- that is something else all together. Now you are more interested in what your body is saying rather than wanting to share something special with a very special someone you have been saving yourself for. So what is your choice? What have you already decided? Post Reply
View Profile History	Do I Kiss or Not Kiss Posted : 19 Feb, 2010 06:37 AM i feel like i should not even be in this room lol. all this grown folk talk... but i'll give my two cents. i do not think it is fair to the other person. the fact that you are thinking about it means a lot. my story... i decided as a child that i would save myself for marriage. i was totally clueless when i did but over the years i've understood it's worth. needless to say, i have had those very feelings you talk about and gave in on a couple of occasions because my pride and the sheer convenience of very attractive guys who liked me. by pride i am speaking about 'knowing' that things would not go too far and thankfully it didn't but i took it for granted that they were on the same page as me. of course i think it is wrong because of my situation, knowing that i would just be using that person for a moment's gratification. your situation could be different but you should really check the source of your urges. nyanda Post Reply

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