I've given up. I'm taking a "temporary" break from this site and dating in general. Too many times I've been lied to (especially by guys claiming to be "Christian") and, hopefully just for now, I've given up faith in humanity. I'll be using this time for reflection.
I guess that, when all is said and done, I'm just too different. Maybe there's guy out there who's my missing half, maybe not. I would sometimes joke that, if he DID exist, he was probably killed five minutes before I was supposed to meet him. **weak chuckle** Either way, I'm not changing who I am just just to appear "normal." And, if that means that I'm meant to be alone for the rest of my life, so be it.
This Easter, I slept in an had to go to one of my old churches instead of the one I belong to. I left that one church, that I ended up going to, because the pastor was a sexist pig who disected the Bible for his own purposes. It wouldn't bother me, because I would never step down from a challenge, but all of the people there were stupid sheep that would just look at me and say, "Oh, well, that's ***." (Name edited for privacy). I've learned to never trust anyone in "authority" who refuses to be challenged. Teachers, doctors, preachers, ANYONE. I have no problem with a healthy discussion, but I will not be treated like a child...or a mindless animal. Going tere on Sunday just brought back all of those feelings. Now, I feel like I can' trust anyone (outside of my family and my friend).
For the good people out there, I wish you all of the happiness in the world, that you find your missing half and,...please, pray for me. Thank you.
My kids and I prayed for you just now. What you're describing can be one of the MOST painful things someone is able to experience.
When we look for God's love in those around us (in churches or on sites such as this) and we end up feeling unseen, unheard and unimportant, we are receiving an inaccurate portrayal of God's love for us - that's why it hurts.
Children are crushed when they are treated in a similar manner - and so are we.
I'm very sorry that you've been hurt so badly.
Churches, friends, family and even this site act as mirrors around us that we have to be cautious of seeing ourselves through. God's Word should ALWAYS have the final say of how God views us, and of the great value we have in our Father's Eyes!
When I began to place God and ministering to others before my own needs and desires, my needs and desires began to change. My "need" to be seen, appreciated and loved shifted to desiring to see, appreciate and love others - I became more selfless. I figured that even though I may never be seen or loved for who I am, I CAN give myself fully to the work God has called me to!
It hasn't been easy, but my relationship with the Lord has certainly been worth it!
You know, like you, Christ was also different. Like you, Christ was also rejected and misunderstood by the churches He'd visit. In fact, He spent most of His life loving those who did not see Him nor appreciate or love Him for who He truly was.
Christ knows what it is to be in your shoes, and He will certainly be with you.
I grew up in a catholic family, I myself was baptized into a catholic church but as a teenager I got into reading christian books and really enjoyed the message. I even snuck into a couple of christian churches. How do I begin the process of becoming a born again christian when everyone around me is catholic? I currently abide by catholic moral standards for the most part but as far as christian standards I am a continuous sinner. I'm having difficulties in deciding which religion to commit my faith to. Recommendations please anybody........
If you have access to the internet, look up Intouch Ministries and order one of their free CD's for new Christian believers. Intouch Ministries is based around the teachings of Dr. Charles Stanley whom I have listened to for many years - I believe he's an excellent pastor.
As far as you seeing that you're a sinner...
If you read Romans 7, you will see the Apostle Paul realizing for the first time that he too was a continual sinner, even though he'd spent his entire life zealously believing that he'd done what was right....including his persecution of the early church. In fact, in Romans 7, Paul says that he continues to sin, and can't even stop! That's kind of a normal thing for us sinners :)
Anyways,
If you have more questions feel free to send me a direct message. I'd be glad to talk to you about some of the differences between Catholic and Christian beliefs. I'd also be interested to hear what it is that you liked about the Christian messages you've read or heard.
I will pray for you, Megadash. I think that a lot of people rush onto the datesites hoping that the title "christian dating site" will mean that I find someone equally yoked, or that this is His will. I never got onto this thing until I realized my heart was right with myself, and with God. I've found that place in myself.(FINALLY!!!!) I realized that no matter how much someone lies, no matter how they try, I'm not hurt by it. It just means right here, right now, this is not in His time. It let's me stay clear-headed enough torealize that I don't need someone, and its not that I'm "taking a break". I'm always looking, but I don't have that desire that causes me to see what isn't there. My head is clear, my heart is strong. instead of looking for a mate, try looking for a friend. Different approach, same result. God bless you, and take care.
