You're all welcome to read this. Hi. I haven't updated my profile in months and I currently living in Kansas. *Caution* this may become very lengthy. Possibly straining on the eyes even. Furthermore, I'm on this site, strictly for friends. I realize my profile says I'm an occasional smoker. Meaning, I quit for weeks at a time, then start back up until God knocks me down and I quit again.
At any given moment we are capable of sinning and I am not an exception to this rule. I don't care about how many times you attend church, your many "goals", and how great you feel about your talents that were given to you by God Himself. We're all talented in some way. And we're all unique. I can't date because dating is not leading me to God at this particular time.
I'd like to get in the habit of visualizing God standing next to me all the time doing and saying all that do and say. We all say we're believers and alot of us forget about Him until a bunch of poo enters our lives. God is always with us, He's just not with us physically throughout the day. If He were, self-will would take the backburner to Him and we wouldn't or not as easily in the least: liter, curse people out, have road rage, judge others too quickly, etc. etc. the list goes on.
I believe that I have either found my other half or I will find Him within this year. Not 2011, 2010. For beliefs I cannot nor will I explain in detail at this time, possibly never. However, in God's timing I will be with my future hubby. Just because I'm promised to have found "the one" this does not mean I'm getting married anytime real soon. I have lots of inner struggles and when Jesus finally makes His way back here on earth, I'd like to say the most beautiful thing about me is my heart. I cannot honestly say this is true as of now.
Not the way I look, not my rockin' crib, or how righteous I felt I had been. I've known plenty of people who donate, travel all over to help starving kids, who testify to others, who have also compulsively lied to me, stolen my money, and slept with my boyfriend.
I forgive these people (therefore, I'm not going into detail saying they are horrible people, but I am explaining how religion vs. relationship with God and people is different... Or so the Bible explains. For example: overly zealous Pharisees) however, as someone who (and this is not something to brag about) is nearly aware of all her flaws (because I've had to ask God to reveal such things "Who can understand his errors? cleanse thou me from secret faults" Psalms 19:2)
I can say one of my many flaws is lack of trust in people which may be good in a way because nowhere in the Bible does it say "trust in people" and on the back of money it doesn't say "trust in people" but those things do say to trust in God. But boy oh boy! Men do not like to not be trusted in a relationship. And to feel a degree of trust in people would be beneficial for me to get out there and love on people the way my Spirit is screaming out for me to do. It would be nice if I could see people/life through the eyes of Jesus. I need a soul (thoughts, will, emotions) transformation. S.O.S.
Trusting anyone is something that by it's very nature has to take Time.
Trust is a "multiLayered" Foundation. It is laid down one piece at a time.
In a relationship it is every time that you are rewarded by trusting that person. It is every time that they do not "let you down".
Each one of those "moments" builds up Trust. Lies...Deceit...Disrespect (anything that "willfully" hurts you) tears down that "foundation" that is being built.
Trust no one, but allow everyone the "Opportunity" to build a Trusting Relationship with you.
People will disappoint you...prepare yourself for that. The only Man that will NEVER disappoint you is Jesus. So...forgive those that do, but reject those that make no effort. Keep them away from you and out of your life, but in your Prayers.
I have a question...what was the purpose of writing:
Trust is something earned. That does take time and for there to build time, both parties or everyone involved would have to make an effort.
Trust is the foundation of our relationship with God. And we are given faith thanks to God and his measure of grace. As humans we all probably go through periods of confusion, anger, and doubt even with God (such as during trials) but through supplication of prayer, worship, etc. we are reminded to give thanksgiving even during these rough patches of life. And it doesn't hurt knowing God is a divinity aka: our perfect Creator. And we're reminded once again that God is ALWAYS faithful, trustworthy, wherein people/humans are not.
Expecting a person to trust you upon first meeting face to face, when they tell you from the beginning they have lack of trust in people... is... well, it makes no sense. I tire of this aspect of my character being brought up time and time again like it's a defect. We're not even wrestling with People but higher powers and principalities. Of course I will be wary and would like for someone in a dating relationship to give it time. Like you'd described. I'm just continuing to leave this area of my life up to God.
My subject line: Well, I'm 23 and in the secular music world people in my age group grobble over artists (singers) who may or may not be hermaphrodites. I'm not one myself however, there are hermaphrodites being born all over the world. I figured God created them too and they may even be on here. Plus I was tired and it probably would have drawn some attention.
You have a lot of wisdom there, Sis. I have frequently advocated for a "friends only" beginning to any relationship. Without the pressure of romance, you're free to be real and get to know one another as you really are. Sure, romantic feelings can grow quickly, but they can also be back-burnered so they don't sidetrack the process.
The reality is that in marriage, there will be times where friendship is all you have to hang onto. The stronger that friendship is, the stronger your marriage will be. It's the best foundation, after Christ, upon which to build trust and non-physical intimacy.
It's also really easy to make finding a mate a priority when it absolutely should not be. We are not promised another heartbeat, never mind another tomorrow, so we are to be about our Father's business today. He knows who He is preparing for us, and He will bring us together in His perfect timing. Until then, He has a purpose in our singleness as well.
Okay, enough preaching. God bless you, darlin', as you seek His good and perfect for all aspects of your life.
