This has never been an issue for me. When someone has hurt me I gave it over to God and moved on. Why is that now when someone has hurt my child I can't do it? I give it over and then it comes back. I cry, I pray...I am on my knees begging for him to release this anger, this hurt, this guilt.
I am a single parent and my son was having issues in school. So what do I do, I turn to a mentor at the school to help him, guide him. That man turns around and sodomizes my child. My son holds that in for 8 years carrying that pain his confusion. He finally told me last winter when he tells me he thinks he is gay because this man did that to him. He was scared to tell me because he thought I would blame him because the guy told him I would.
This Deacon is walking around free until other boys come out and tell what happen. And I am ANGRY. The police can't do anything.
I look at my son, at this handsome young man and think of all the pain he has gone through for one being so young. His father didn't want him, his step-mom abused him and on top of all his anger he gets abused by someone who is suppose to be his mentor. My son is doing better, therapy has helped. Therapy for me has helped. My new church has been 100% behind us. I have good days and bad days.
It is just you can hurt me all day long but touch my kids and I can't let it go. Why?
Oh my goodness, my dear�.. I can not even fathom what you are going through right now�. and NOW is the time when you need Jesus most. I've had times when I needed Him most� and I called Him. I asked Him to come into me and take away the pain. For the Holy Spirit to fill me with righteousness and peace. And I prayed for His justice and His will to take place� and I bowed down and released my emotions to Jesus� and He took them�
LovingAP, I am so sorry for what you and your son are going through.
I think forgiveness of something such as this is nothing short of a miracle. Which is we feel that we can't do it. WE can't. But in HIM, it IS possible. Pray for this miracle... On your face, humble before your God, asking Him to perform the supernatural in your heart. Read Matthew 18:21-35 every single day, multiple times per day if you need to. Every time the bitterness and unforgiving spirit rises up in you, read it and remember that Jesus suffered more for your sin than any of us could ever suffer on this earth. He suffered more. Because of you. Because of your son. Because of each one of us. And yet He forgives us and showers us w/ His grace. It is our privilege to be able to testify that kind of Jesus love to those around us through forgiving that which seems unforgiveable.
That said, because we are in the process of being sanctified, we don't forgive perfectly. It doesn't just pour out of us naturally 24/7. It takes lots of work and lots of Jesus. It's a daily thing where every time you let those unforgiving feelings get in the way of bringing glory to God, you catch yourself, confess, repent, and rely on Him even more for the strength. Don't beat yourself up for feeling angry, but do bring your anger before God.
There is this song that you should listen to... We're not supposed to post links here, so I won't. But if you can't find it, message me and I'll send you the link, okay? The song is called "You Love Justice" and is by Debbie Fortnum. She has a website and you can download the full song from there for free. It is based on Psalm 11:7. There have been times when I've felt SO angry at what someone has done and the lack of justice, and playing this song a few times over really helps to put things in perspective.
Psalm 63 has been really meaningful to me lately, as well. It talks about thirsting and longing for God "in a dry and weary land where there is no water." I think we all have those dry places in our life where we so desperately need the living water to flood. I think what David says there is so powerful... The note in my Bible says that he wrote this while in the Desert of Judah. Can you imagine being in a desert... hot, weary, and thirsty... but rather than longing for water and rest, you're longing for God.
These times where forgiveness is so hard are like deserts. And while it may seem like justice will satisfy our thirst, what we need to be thirsting for and longing for is God. Nothing short of Him will ever completely satisfy our need for justice or for anything else.
Also read Lamentations 3. I especially love verse 22: "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail." While it may feel like it, this horrible thing will not consume you. God's love is bigger than this. His compassion is greater than this. He longs for His love and His compassion to be what consumes you.
I will be praying for you and your son. May the Lord bless you with wisdom for choosing to be open up and reach out like this.
Today's message at church hit it on the nail for me. We are studying Genesis 3 the message was C.I.A. Part 3: The Strategy of Satan, part 2 (C.I.A - Christian Intelligence of the Adversary). That Satan has a three-step attack:
1. He distorts his appearance
2. He deceives through lies
3. He deludes man's mind
Satan distorts our minds...."If God loved you he wouldn't have allowed this man to touch your child" He tries to push doubt in God's Love.
The message went deeper and it hit home. That the battleground is the mind - Satan wants to mess with my mind - that at this time I am under spiritual and mental warfare.
I must do what Jesus did in Matthew 4 - I must counter Satan's lies with the truth of God's Word!
It is an every day battle and you - Satan will not win.
im so very sorry for this that has happened to you and your son. i understand what the both of you are going through and id like you to know i will be adding you and your son to my prayers. through Jesus and God you will get though this. Keep HIM close to your heart and dont shut him out and he will always help you.
Tonight my son went back to church. He had a hard time trying to come to terms with what happen and blamed God for not protecting him. He found someone to talk to and they invited him to church and he enjoys going. Baby steps. God is good:applause:
My advice to others on things like this is something I learned from dealing with some pretty rotten people myself.
If you cannot forgive someone for what they have done, then at least forgive them for not knowing any better, for not knowing what they are doing to their very soul.
If you can forgive them for what they do not know, in time you will find you can forgive them practically anything.
We can forgive a dog for being a dog, its in his nature. We can forgive a child for they do not have the maturity to know better. So to forgive a person who does not practice Christian behavior is simply forgiving them for not recognizing the damage they are doing to themselves, whether they are Christian or not..
And then I remember to Praise God for allowing my eyes to see what their eyes cannot. Remember too that their actions are the actions that slayed our Lord on the Cross, and He forgave them, so we should as well. And He forgave us too, for we also have had times where we have behaved badly and hurt others. Those were times when we as well nailed our Lord to the Cross.
If He is able to forgive them, and He is able to forgive us, then we too must find a way to forgive one another, so if you cannot forgive the actions of another, at least be forgiving of what they cannot see is the damage they inflict upon themselves by their own actions.
Forgiving does not mean you have to like them or that you have to trust them or want to be around them. It simply means you release your own bitterness toward them, so that the Lord might take the matter into His Divine Hands. The bitterness we carry for another person bothers us, but it in no way impacts the person we carry that axe for. Do we contend for a moment that our feeling about them are something that bothers them and keeps them awake at night? Who is losing sleep over this bitterness, them or only us?
It is important to forgive other not so much for them as it is for our own well being for if we knew how very little they contemplated anything that crossed our minds, it would probably make us even angrier, but to what avail?
Drop the axe and let the Lord pick it up for you. Pray for your enemies and the Lord will either change them or condemn them. The really amazing part is that for as vile as the worst among us might be, the Lord actually LOVES them more than the people we love most in our life, even if that individual has heinously murdered masses. For it is written that it is His desire that none would perish, but that all would have eternal life.
What is really sad is that we are unable to see ourselves the way the Lord sees us, the way that God designed us to be, for sin has changed and corrupted many of us beyond recognition to the point that the Lord might someday say, "I don't know you".
Enemies often teach us hard lessons that others cannot, and that often brings us closer to God. Really hard to say that we should thank God for our enemies,but frankly, look how many of us would not have found our way to the Lord without going down some of those very difficult paths.
As we come to forgive our enemies, the Lord usually brings us through the fire and beyond them into another place where we will encounter new challenges.
So Thank the Lord for the obstacles, for without them, we would never need God.
I recently wrote a blog post on forgiveness. In it, I shared a link to a sermon about forgiveness that was shared with me. Perhaps this may help you. http://resources.bridgewaychurch.com/BW.Celebrations/main.Celebration/audio/podcast.Audio/2009/10042009-SamStorms-FromForgiventoForgiving.mp3
Also, I highly recommend the book "When Life is HARD" by Pastor James MacDonald.
I hope one of these helps you in your journey to forgiveness. I will keep you and your son in my prayers.
We as Christians and Humans, Men and Women...it is not always easy..our trials and tribulations...it never seems fair...putting your trust and faith in the Lord in totality is what will give you and your son the ( Willingness ) to forgive...you are a strong women and the Lord will strenthin both of you even more...
I'm am saddened to hear of this...the only thing stronger than a mothers love of her son...is the love of our Father GOD towards us All...
This was an aweful Act of Man...not of GOD...draw even closer to God...and the Healing necessary will asuredly be forth coming...
You and your son will be in my prayers...and know that you are not alone...xo
"Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe to stumble, it would be better for him if, with a heavy millstone hung around his neck, he had been cast into the sea"
I fully 100% believe that this scripture covers child abuse, molestation, and anything else you do to take a child's innocence. In the context of this verse, Jesus was showing children as examples of innocence and pure hearts. Rest assured, the man who did this to your son will NOT escape his sin. Even if this vile man were to somehow be saved, he will never ever ever escape it. God's Word is truth, and He does not fail any of His promises.
I am so glad to hear that your son went to church and is coming to terms with what happened to him. What an amazing report!!
It is hard to deal with what you are dealing. There still might be woundsand scars. The Lord Jesus Christ sees your heart and He is with you all the way. Never feel uncomfortable to open up your heart to Him, for He loves you dearly.
