When I was a year and a half old I had received 2 generational curses; the evil spirits of manipulation and deceit and I had received them from my Great-Grandmother. I was a baby, I knew not of evil and of good but I still wanted to be loved.
After Id gotten them I remember being in my high chair and I didnt want the food Mom placed before me so I threw a fit. She then told me to be good and so I began to eat. Soon after that My Great-Grandmother and my Grandmother arrived and I began to gag myself just so I could stop eating. So they took me out of the high chair and let me down. My mother was hurt and furious but at that moment she knew there was something evil taking place.
My mother and father were young parents. Mom was 17 and Dad was 23 and unmarried when I was born. My father was very immature and was too busy being a drug addict and going to parties than spending time with his girlfriend and baby girl. So every weekend he pawned me off on my Grandparents (His parents). Mom did the drugs and drinking also but only to make my father �love� her more. My mother loved me very much but everyone took over and let me do what I wanted instead of letting her discipline me. So I saw her as �the bad guy,� which put a deep rift in our relationship.
At 20 years old Mom met the Lord. She left Dad then and wanted no part of his wicked ways. Dad was angry and blamed God. Instead of having conviction Satan plagued him with condemnation. Mom started taking me to church and teaching me about God. It was great. I wasnt hearing fighting all the time and Mom was actually taking care of me. Dad began getting in trouble with the law and when I did get to see him he was mostly drunk. Life went like that until I was age 10 when it took a horrible turn.
Mom began to see terrible men who were scary and violent. They brought all sorts of drugs into our home and Mom began acting like it was all okay. She stopped taking me and my little brother and sister to church. Her music changed. Instead of Christian music it was demonic tunes of sin. Mom began to get violent and would hit me. She dropped all sorts of weight and stopped taking care of me and my siblings. I used to say things to my Mom like �Why did you leave Jesus? He still loves you.� She�d shrug it off and tell me to shut up.
One time our home was held up at gun point by one of my mother�s so called �friends.� Mom made me and my siblings stay at my aunt�s house. I was scared. That night I didn�t know whether or not Id ever see my mother again. When she came and picked us up I didn�t want to leave my aunts. I was overjoyed to see my Mom but I was too scared to return home. It made Mom very angry and she took it out on my aunt.
Things went much the same until I was almost 12. My mother then told me to leave her home and to call my grandparents so I did. Soon after that we found out that she was pregnant by a very evil man. I hated her for it. I hated him. I hated my younger brother and cursed him. God had saved him when he was born because he almost died. I just thought that Eli was going to be evil and that Mom was an idiot for keeping him. So I shunned my little brother.
The pain had welled up so deep in my heart that I was hardened. I began to loathe my parents and the demons would lie to me and tell me my parents hated me and it was entirely my fault. At school the kids were horrid to me and Id always been an outcast. I was poor and didn�t have nice �name brand� clothes so I was a weirdo. So it gave the evil spirits even more ways to torment me. It became too much and my anger was more than I could handle so I then opened the door to the spirits of Death and Suicide and Depression.
I started cutting myself and by the time I was 13 I was admitted into a psychiatric ward once and had 8 suicide attempts under my belt. I hated myself and everyone else. I began to drink, smoke cigarettes, and smoke pot. I listened to music of demonic screaming and absolute filth. I thought I was cool and kids at school would act different towards me. I started getting into all the school drama and fights. I started hanging out with kids that were way older than me and disrespecting my grandparents.
I had a best friend but there was an unnatural bond there and I cared more about her than my family and myself. She was the first person other than my grandparents that I felt accepted me and was willing to uplift me in my weak moments. So Id put everything into our friendship. I used to get jealous when she spoke about other friends or even crushes. I wanted to be the only she cared about and because of that we eventually grew apart.
At age 14 my mother was given her last call and she came running to the Lord. She started serving him and wanted me to also. So I started visiting her more often and going to church with her. I thought that if I gave my life to God that she�d love me. I had so much hurt built up that all I wanted to do was appease her. So I quit doing the things I was but I wasn�t loving God for a relationship with him I was trying to love God for a relationship with my mother. Soon after that I moved back in with my Mom.
I was trying very hard to serve God but because of the fact that I hadnt been delivered and I was trying for the wrong reasons I started to fall into temptation. So I started listening to music whose fruits werent of God: Switchfoot, Skillet, Family Force 5, and Flyleaf. From there I started listening to secular music. I filled my mind with anime and demonic shows. I started smoking again and drinking. I threw my virginity away to someone very undeserving and began being VERY rebellious to my mother. I treated her as though there was something wrong with her for taking her authority of me. I conned everyone I knew to get my way. I was constantly lying just for the fun of it.
The more I fed my mind and soul with the world the darker my spirit became. Id let quite a few more demons in and they were having a blast tearing me apart. I started wearing all black and ignored God. By age 17 Id began to get piercings and was gothic. I ran so far from God that I went from tasting his treasures to casting them away for bondage. I thought that I was being �free� but instead I was putting myself in chains.
Id let the demons manifest and Id become angry and violent. I was lashing out at everyone in my path. I started dating my ex fianc� Trey and fell in �love� with him. Satan sent him to me and the relationship wasnt natural. It moved very fast and Id gotten my heart far too involved. I thought he was the �one� and wanted nothing more to spend my life with him; yet, I couldnt commit to him and he couldnt to me. It became a contest of who could hurt whom more and then we�d have make up sex. It went on like that for a year. Then we got engaged. The longer we were together the worse we got to each other. We began to get violent and beat on each other. We�d curse at each other for hours. That went on for six more months until I had enough.
When I broke it off with him, November 18, 2010, instantly I was tormented. I didnt know what to do with myself and I didn�t care what happened. For that year and a half he was all I knew. I didnt know how to live without him and there became a huge void in my heart.
From there I began to get into the fake drugs that were very dangerous and started taking large doses of prescription drugs; anything that would keep me high and fill that void. The more I took the more the demons would manifest and the scarier I became.
December 10, 2010 (My 18th Birthday) I went to a party. There was just about every kind of drug and alcohol there that I could choose from. So I started drinking and took some ecstasy. Soon after I started seeing demons in the room and I began to go into seizers. My glass that I was holding dumped all over me because my hand was shaking so badly. Then I tried to get up and walk around and my feet collapsed, Id lost all equilibrium. I started writhing on the floor and my eyes couldnt focus. I remember flashes of people and demons around me . My movements would jerk and they were very painful. At one point I couldnt breathe so someone picked me up and carried me outside to try and get me breathing. I knew I was dying. I was terrified and I knew that I would be going to hell. So I cried out to God with what faint voice I had. I told him that if he saved me Id serve him and continued to reason with God. Then a miracle happened and one of the girls there grabbed a bottle of water and poured it down my throat. It hurt to drink but she explained that I was badly dehydrated and if I didnt drink that I would die soon. So I did. I kept drinking water from that point on and started throwing up all my alcohol. It was hard but I had to face the consequences. The next day I was taken home and I slept for around two days. My family was distraught. They knew that I wasn�t just smoking pot but messing with hard drugs.
I didnt honor my promise to God and I kept doing the things that almost killed me. I was toying with death and slapping God in the face. In January Id met my ex Michael. With him Id received a spirit of sexual bondage. I was with him for only a few months but I couldn�t help but constantly crave him. Even when he moved away I couldn�t severe the connection and neither could he.
I dropped out of high school and ended up moving about 2 hours away from my family with a stranger. She was 10 years older than me and used me for my car. She had a little boy though and I loved him. He was a kid with problems but a good kid. I knew that I was a bad influence on him but I kept telling him �do as I say not as I do.� It was a very wrong approach but I didn�t want to quit living how I was. I partied every night and slept every day. I didnt have a job because I didnt need one. My drugs were paid for by the sex I had to get them and my alcohol was given to me to make me an easy mark. Every morning I woke up with someone in my bed that I made leave. I was disgusted with myself but I couldnt stop. The lust was almost too much to take but my addiction was greater. I didnt care who I was sleeping with male or female and I didnt care the consequences it had.
Eventually I was kicked out of the place I was living and I moved 2 doors down into a meth house. From there I began smoking meth and aiding in its making. I was sleeping with a meth cook and doing graffiti just to be rebellious. I began stealing and becoming a big drug dealer and con artist. I even conned a Wal-Mart worker into helping me while I was carrying stolen goods. I kept going that way until May when I knew that if I didnt move out I would be in prison. So I convinced the meth cook to move to my grandparents with me. My grandparents loved me and all they wanted was for me to be home and safe so they didnt care who I brought with me. I packed everything into my car and headed home but with 3 grams of meth. We continued to be on the drugs and 3 days after we came home I sent him back to make another batch. There he was caught by the police and sentenced to a max of 20 years but I didnt care. In fact I thought it was hilarious.
The cruelty in me kept rising. I slept with whomever I wanted whenever I wanted to. My lust was so unquenchable and my drug addiction was consuming. I was depressed, empty, lonely, tormented, and afraid all the time. I started selling evil artwork that was demonic to a Wiccan store, a store of witchcraft and deceit. I took pride in my evil creations and would call all who opposed me �intolerant� or �ignorant.� I loathed those who had the Lords anointing and hissed curses at them.
I stayed the same until November 18,2011 when my Grandfather passed away. I loved him. He was my father, my teacher, my best friend, my counselor, and the only person who could turn my tears to laughter but most importantly he was a Godly man. He used to witness to me and I�d say �Shut up old man! I don�t want to hear your b.s.� It would hurt him and hed cry. He just wanted to see me saved and taken care of. When he passed I was beside myself. Id reached a whole new level of pain. So much that All I ever saw spiritually was darkness. Id look in the mirror and all I saw was emptiness. My skin had an undertone of grey. I looked like the walking dead. I was a freak. A scary empty freak.
Last Christmas I went to my mothers home (high as always) and she started witnessing to me. She told me about my Grandmother (her mother), who was suffering from cancer, that she had demons in her that put the illness on her. I didn�t believe it. I thought my mother was crazy. Then I saw them manifest. Shed do odd things and it scared me. So then I started questioning everything.
I questioned if God was really there and if there really was demons. I questioned if they were in me and what they were doing. I continued to get high and do what I was but something changed. I questioned the lies that I was fed my entire life. My heart had begun to melt.
My mother had also been interceding on my behalf and so was my aunt. My mother had stood on the verse �Choose now whom you will serve, as for me and my house we will serve the Lord.� She kept praying vigilantly and then there came a massive breakthrough.
New Year night God gave me a dream. In the dream he explained how I got away from him. He showed me what Satan looked like and what he was. He showed me who I could be in him and then he told me what would happen if I didnt serve him. He showed me what Satan was doing to my family and revealed his plans. In the dream God took me to the spirit world and showed me what was taking place. Then he showed me my authority in him and told me that I had a choice to make and would affect everyone that I loved.
The next morning I awoke and began praying I asked God to forgive me and listed every sin that I could think of. I knew that Id been given my last call and all I wanted was God. I then texted my mother and told her the good news. I told my aunt next and my best friend last. After that I began burning everything that held me to Satan. I began to be heavily tormented. I couldnt experience the level of joy that God had for me because I was being pulled apart by the demons I had. They kept lying to me. They told me that I wasnt saved and that the dream I had was a product of the drugs I was on. I knew different though. Ive had some nasty dreams and not one brought me to God. Not one gave me conviction and not one was so real. For every lie they told me I rebuked them and then burned something else. The whole time I kept smoking cigarettes. I was so stressed by the war going on within me that I smoked one cigarette right after the other but I burned all my drugs and pipes.
The longer I waited to get to my mothers house the more tormented I became. I was torn. I knew that God had called me out of the darkness and I didnt understand all the attacks until the next night. Id ended up going to Living Word Healing Rooms ministry (I�m now an intercessor for) and I asked for prayer. The demons inside me were terrified. I knew by the anxiety they caused me. The more anxious I became the more I rejoiced in the Lord because I knew there was about to be a breakthrough. When it was finally my turn something different happened; instead of taking me back to a prayer room with a couple members I was taken into the sanctuary.
In the sanctuary I could feel Gods presence and the demons within me became enraged. Then I was anointed and everyone began to lay hands on me. My mother led the prayer and as soon as she put her hands on me God gave her discernment. She started rebuking the spirit of death and suicide within me. As soon as she said the words I was thrown to the ground and my head bounced off the floor. I knew that it was not of God. The demons in me were very angry and a member of the team pulled me up and said �Keep her up!� From there they made the spirit manifest and went to cast it out. When they told it to leave it cut off my air in my throat. It felt like someone had a hold of my wind pipe. Then someone told it to cause me no harm in the name of Jesus. So it had to leave. One by one they casted them out and with each one I was put through more and more pain from the evil spirits. They manifested and used my mouth, my body, and my energy. I knew though that if I stopped the process that I would hinder what God was trying to do. So I just relied on God.
When it was all finished Id had 9 demons casted out of me. I was very weary in the natural but spiritually I was FREE!!!! For the first time in my entire life God poured out his complete love in me and I could accept it. I felt his presence and became over joyed. No longer was I in chains. I FINALLY felt the love that I needed all of my life and it was amazing! I truly went from a freak to a Jesus freak in the matter of 2 days.
Now I�m sold out to God. Hes brought me so far through him and each day hes training me and loving on me and I praise him!!! I love God and I�m sold out to him. He gets the glory for my entire testimony!
Praise God! I was inspired and blessed after reading your testimony,friend.
Indeed,you are more than a conqueror!(Romans 8:37).. There is power in the name of JESUS!...your testimony is a demonstration of God's amazing power! Keep the fire burning,friend..Yes,Jesus loves you so much,He will never leave you,nor forsake you..Keep this in mind, you wil going to shake and deStroy the teritory of darkness!, you're a shaker of the enemy,a mover
for Jesus! The power in you (Holy Spirit)is greater than the power that he(demons) is in this world(1John4:4)..
. My movements would jerk and they were very painful. At one point I couldnt breathe so someone picked me up and carried me outside to try and get me breathing. I knew I was dying. I was terrified and I knew that I would be going to hell. So I cried out to God with what faint voice I had. I told him that if he saved me Id serve him and continued to reason with God. Then a miracle happened and one of the girls there grabbed a bottle of water and poured it down my throat. It hurt to drink but she explained that I was badly dehydrated and if I didnt drink that I would die soon. So I did. I kept drinking water from that point on and started throwing up all my alcohol. It was hard but I had to face the consequences. The next day I was taken home and I slept for around two days. My family was distraught. They knew that I wasn�t just smoking pot but messing with hard drugs.