Thread: Struggling with scriotures applied to divorce - scriptorians needed
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Struggling with scriotures applied to divorce - scriptorians needed
Posted : 4 Dec, 2008 05:58 AM
Hi, I am not judging *anyone*. This is a personal issue I have been struggling with for nearly 4 years.
Scriptures: Matthew 19: 3-9, Mark 10:2-12, Romans 7:2-3, Luke 16:18, and 1 Corinthians 7:39.
I was physically and emotionally abused for 10 years and left my first husband when God told me if he kept hitting me he would kill me. I got a divorce and remarried (mistake) and stayed with second husband (Mormon) for 31 years (loveless on my part) until God told me in a vision he was the "wrong man for you" and showed me with what I thought was my first husband and said, "this is the right man for you, your true mate". :bow:
Went back - he was still not remarried but is now a Christian pastor preaching Deuteronomy 24:1-4 - and the love/magic was still there despite the abuse of which I have forgiven him but he's never said "I'm sorry." Says he loves me but will never take me back because "the land would be defiled". Has not talked to me in 2 1/2 years.
Sorry this is so long, but I have questions. Why did the Lord send me back to a man HE knew would reject me? Only for my first husband's judgment? (He has never divulged his past abuse and is continuing to cover it up to his flock). Am I bound to wait even though he says he won't come and have to live the rest of my life alone and without loving and being loved? Why must I pay for his sins? I don't understand what the Lord wants from me. This seems so cruel to me for a loving Father.....:prayingm:
Scriptorians, can you shed any hopeful light on these scriptures as applied to my situation, or do I have no hope?
Struggling with scriotures applied to divorce - scriptorians needed
Posted : 8 Dec, 2008 07:11 PM
Dear Janet,
I am sorry for your pain, I wish I were better with words, and could say something eloquent, and beautiful that would warm your heart, and bring real comfort to you in this trying time. I have never been good at that, it just isn't my gift.
Lean back into the waiting arms of our Father, He understands pain. He has given His all to a rebellious and stiff necked people, who refuse to love or honor Him. And yet, He still loves, still calls, still waits, for His children to just love Him. Let Him cover you in the protection of His wings, be immersed in His undying love, His immeasurable grace, His sweet, sweet comfort. He will never leave nor forsake you, and will love you even when you are doing wrong.
A more pure love does not exist, and it is yours. You don't even have to ask Him, just turn to Him and say, "I need you Daddy". He will immediately encompass you in His love, kissing away each tear as He washes you with His own. He loves you so much, you know His heart is breaking right now for you. Turn into His arms, and get that peace that surpasses all understanding.
Turn and heal, dear sister, and let Him guide you in your path. In these last days, people have hardened their hearts, but don't let that stop you from seeking His face.
Physical love is one of those things that we crave, but if we have a spouse, our focus changes from God to our other half. That is why Paul said he wished all could be like him, and Jesus said IF we could accept it. Maybe it is nothing more than your ex doesn't trust himself to stay focused on God with you in the picture.
Struggling with scriotures applied to divorce - scriptorians needed
Posted : 8 Dec, 2008 09:58 PM
Dear Leon,
Your words are a comfort to me - you must be a wonderful pastor and I wish I were close enough to attend your services. :waving:
I do not have a hard heart; indeed, that is a big problem for me because since I was baptized with the Holy Ghost, I've become so tender-hearted, so easily pierced, but I know that's what the Lord wants, and I am not afraid to be completely honest and exposed, to be vulnerable to him and open my heart utterly to Him to have HIS will, for that is what I desire above all else. I simply am having trouble discerning what that will for me IS.
I have ordered 3 books on marriage/divorce/remarriage and will be devouring them - they arrived today. Please pray that the Holy Spirit will guide me to revelation of Father's will for me through the blood of Christ, for that is ALL I desire. If He doesn't want me to have what He showed me, I want His will above my own. But I also know that the Lord does not give visions and promises He does not intend to honor - He is a God of Truth, NOT a God of lies. So I will trust Him a little longer, Leon. (But I would really rather go Home :purpleangel: )
Thank you for caring and reaching out to me - it means a lot to me because I have no place to worship, no fellowship with other Christians - the Lord has taken me away from the ladies I was praying with. But He showed me in a dream, others I believe I will be praying with eventually - I need fellowshipping and love very much. Thank you, Leon, for being a true man of God.
May He richly bless you (I have been used by Him as a prayer warrior, so expect blessings) :applause:
Struggling with scriotures applied to divorce - scriptorians needed
Posted : 9 Dec, 2008 06:33 AM
Janet, believe me when I say, I know you don't have a hardened heart. I just don't want you to let this make you that way.
You know, sometimes God uses us to try to turn someone else from their ways. Maybe He was giving your ex one last chance. I don't know what to tell you about that.
It is like the story of Job, at first glance it seems that God is the villain, but if you think of what might be missing from the story, like God's motives, you start to understand. What if God was using Job as an example to try to get Satan to turn back to Him. It starts to sound like our God. You can almost hear Him say, Why do you turn from Me when I have given you so much, look my retched servant Job is but a man, and he is faithful. Why not you My anointed cherub who covers? And you know the rest of the story.
We teach the patience of Job without really understanding the moral of the story. Two very important things come out in this story, other than Job's patience. We learn that god chooses us, and we learn that we really don't understand the reasons God does the things He does. If we don't understand, how can we question Him when it doesn't turn out as we like.
I said that, to say, God may have never have intended for you to get back together, you going back and offering may have been nothing more than a test of obedience. Or a reminder to your husband of his shortcomings, and need for repentance.
I don't know that either is the case, but we can't trust our interpretation of why God is directing us to do something.
Seek God for the answers, read the books, get advice, but pray every step of the way. It is easy to get confused when we listen to other people. I can show you verses to justify anything you want, but it is only when we take the entire Bible, in context, that we start to get answers.....true answers.
Struggling with scriotures applied to divorce - scriptorians needed
Posted : 9 Dec, 2008 07:52 AM
Dear Leon,
You are so wise - I'm thankful the Lord has provided this forum for being able to talk to you. I di understand about the Job story and have often asked the Lord, "Is this a test, like Job?" "Am I an example for the devil to do his worst and the Lord expects me to stay faithful?
Because God KNOWS I will never leave Him or become bitter and hard-hearted. I have become a mushy, soft-hearted soul - I know that's what God has made me, so I open my arms and my heart to accept it, *including all the pain and suffering that may go along with it* with all my heart and soul, for above ALL else, I desire to love and serve the Lord.
That being said, I don't believe the Lord would give me a "false vision" ONLY to give my ex another chance OR to test me. I believe if GOD gives it, HE makes it come to pass.
So, having been given a personal revelation, especially just for me, Janet, I must surely trust Him, and so I do. I do NOT understand what God is doing - I want to, but I don't - but that may not ever be revealed until the next life.
I do believe God is trying to teach me patience, and I'm a slow learner where patience is concerned - so pray for me that I will not fail this test so I can move to the next level.
Struggling with scriotures applied to divorce - scriptorians needed
Posted : 17 Dec, 2008 10:05 AM
Sis
I just want to address this quickly.. there are some very dangerous cult-like churches and denominations out there. I see some profiles that want unconditional love, but do not want a divorced person who is seen as unwashed trash I suppose when God loves them no less or no more than He loves you or anyone. It's hypocrisy and a huge misunderstanding of grace.
I've known divorced couples who went on to remarry, and their new marriage glorifies God, 10 years later and their marriage is going good and strong.
If anyone is going to use God's word to brow beat you, unrighteously judge you(being divorced if you are).. I'd stay away and realize they have a bit of heart knowledge to catch up on, and they need to learn about grace and fully understand the mercy and grace God bestows upon us. Just pray for those who condemn anyone in the body of Christ, there are people out there who use scripture to push wicked godless agendas out there. Remember, the devil is the ultimate accuser to the bretheren.
It's true, there are a good number of fakes on here but at this point I'm not confident they are not really the dangerous people. It's the ones who believe they are God's #1 prophet of truth and have the only correct angle on scripture to oppress or hurt another.
Struggling with scriotures applied to divorce - scriptorians needed
Posted : 3 Feb, 2009 11:19 PM
Dear Janet,
I am new to cdff forums but wanted to show you something that may comfort you. Your love for the Lord is apparent and a blessing to Him. Your care for your daughter is also a clue as to the picture of the Heart of God dwelling within you through Christ for He says whatever we do to the least of His brethren we've done it unto Him. Your faithfull love and care for her is also a picture of how He cares for us in our helpless state. We have such a great need for Him and some like your daughter willingly receive His love as she willingly receives your love. Some of His Body don't receive His love and our rejection of Him causes Him great pain for He created us and knows how much we need Him and yet some never reach out to Him just as your husband won't reach out to receive the love you have for him in Christ through the obedience to the vision.
God has in all this allowed you to feel how he feels when we receive His love and when we don't. This is the picture He is showing you in your relationships with both your daughter and your husband. I believe God is allowing you to feel His Heart that you may intercede for His body, His bride for which He died. He too longs for us as you long for love. He created us that He might pour His love on us and we reject it. As you cry my sister, realize that He is allowing you to cry both for Him as well as for the members of His Body, His Bride who reject Him. This intercession will allow Him to draw those who reject Him and unite them with those who don't.
I encourage you to rejoice in the love of your daughter and to cry for the unreturned love of your husband. If you see that you are being asked and even given the honor to intercede for us all then it will give meaning to your pain allowing the pain to no longer be able to hurt you. This cross which you carry will then crucify that part of you which is in turmoil only to be transformed by the power of His resurrection setting you free once and for all. Free not only to walk with the Lord in peace but also to walk in greater effectiveness and joy as part of His Bride. For She is allowed to be clothed in fine linen which is the righteous acts of the saints. Your love is a righteous act.
You have carried this cross for a long time my sister, it is time to let it finish its work in you that you may be resurrected in a greater hope. He must increase and we must decrease. The things we suffer are not worth comparing to the glory He is revealing in us.
Receive understanding my sister, that you may display to all principalities and powers the wisdom of God in choosing to die for us that we might be healed and set free. The whole world groans and travails like a woman in labor waiting for the revealing of the sons and daughters of God. Be revealed my sister in and through Christ Jesus who dwells within you having paid for and defeating all which you now go through. He knows and feels it. He drank the cup. Now take some of the cup back and release Him from His pain. Become through these trials of Job more than you were before through the power that dwells within you, even Christ The Lord of All.
Struggling with scriotures applied to divorce - scriptorians needed
Posted : 4 Feb, 2009 04:08 PM
Thanks Leon,
And right back at you my brother. You have blessed me and many others here my friend. It is good when warriors such as we meet in this struggle of life and death. As we both know, It Shall Be Life for death has no more sting.
Be true bro and I shall continue to thank God upon every remembrance of you.
